JBird100

I was feeling pretty good today, but then took an emotional dive. I was thinking about my family and how I am not a part of their lives any more. I guess it doesn't help that they live half way across the country. I am 76 days sober and am not going to drink. It's just not an option. I don't want to feel any worse than I am already feeling. My wish is that some day they will not look at me like some kind of mutant creature from outer space. I don't really want to fly home because there are just too many triggers there. I am feeling like I just don't have a family any more. Sucks. Tomorrow is another day. Someone was mentioning p.a.w.s and I'm there. I want to make these feelings go away but the only thing I can do now is put it out there. Love to all at SR.

Ananda

Well JBird,

Sorry you are having to go through a rough time. Truth is even non-alkies go through these times. Our problem (IMO) is that alchohol seems like an answer..to shut off the feelings...for others it is being an A-hole..for others eating...for others being sick...

I find for me that trying to hang on to how things use to be is always a loosing proposition. Yeah...I wallow in it for a while, and it is a true sadness...but in the end...we all have to move on to where we are and go from there. One of the best things I heard from someone was "people come into our lives for a while and then they go". It sounds harsh...but it happens whether a lover, spouse or child, whether due to death, disassociation or anger.... I try to simply be grateful for what time I get to enjoy and I try to remember that there will be new relationships, and some relationships will heal. But mostly I need to focus on what I have, whether relationships or other things, today and appreciate what I have had.

That sounds pretty cold, but I have found that it serves me well to see life as ever changing. I morn my losses (sometimes for too long) and then I have to move on or miss all the other opportunities ahead. And, of course, there are always moments of regret, pain and fear about what I have lost....I just really try to remember that forever just means I die first...if that makes any since....

Best wishes to you (hug)

SoberKnitter

Sorry you're down JBird, and I'm glad you're not drinking. This too shall pass.

Harveysmiles

Sorry you are low . I get like that all too often. I have only been sober 3 weeks and it is tough. I use distraction techniques to get through the bad times and try to remember where alcohol finally took me so I don't slip back into old behaviour patterns. Good luck.