Aunore

I've been creeping this site for the last couple of months, looking for inspiration to begin a new life clean of alcohol.

I've been drinking everyday for the last 3 years, living the typical functional alcoholic life: Go home, down a few bottles of wine or a case of beer, pass out, go to work, repeat. I work a physical job and the fatigue I've been experiencing in the morning is starting to affect my job performance.

I've been using alcohol for so long as a crutch for anxiety and as a sleep aid, the last 3 days haven't exactly been pleasant towards me. Nightmares, insomnia, irritability in general, you name it. I keep trying to look forward and think that sobriety is something worth fighting for considering getting hammered every night hasn't gotten me anywhere nor has it affected the people I care about positively.

Everyone I converse to about the subject doesn't seem to really understand what I'm talking about. They don't understand whats so hard in just not drinking anymore. They think its so easy to just forget about alcohol forever but really, for some people, its just not a possibility.

2granddaughters

Have you tried AA? It did the trick for me.

All the best.

Bob R

Hevyn

Welcome Aunore. I think you'll find being here will help you a lot. It meant so much to me to have others to share with, who really understood what I was going through.

It sounds like you've reached the point where it's no longer fun - just a dangerous habit that's complicating your life. I think you'll love being free of it - waking up feeling refreshed instead of beaten up - wouldn't that be nice?! It's a great feeling, and you can do it.

raja12

Keep on fighting thru it. People who don't understand the problem with alcohol are usually not alkies. They can take it or leave it. 1 drinks begins the who crazy cycle over again. I'm still trying. And I'm planning on winning this battle. Stay strong. I've just had a sober stretch, but messed up again. Sober isn't easy, but it sure beats being a drunk.

Anna

Welcome! And, yes, others don't understand how difficult and scary this for us. That's why we come here because we get it.

I also used alcohol to self-medicate insomnia/anxiety/depression. It worked briefly, very briefly and then I was hooked and there was no turning back. It will be hard to get through the early days, but it will be worth it. You know, since you've looked around here, that there is lots of inspiration amongst our members.

Dib42

I can relate. I probably averaged 3 sober days a month, (not entirely sober days, but days without getting hammered) for the last 3-4 years, and I drank heavy before that, just not every day. Also a functioning alcoholic. Refused to miss a day of work if I was hung over, and I work at 5:30am. I always figured if I started missing work, thats when i'd quit. Never missed a day, but decided to quit for a million other reasons.

The anxiety was the worse for me, thats what kept me drinking and kept me wanting to quit drinking, which made me drink more. Cause as long as I planned to quit, it was ok to drink just for today (I've had a lot of last days, and I'm still not convinced I won't have more, but I'm trying harder than I ever have before).
Before this most recent attempt at quitting, I went to the doctor, got some medication for general anxiety disorder, (probably should have gotten something for anxiety attacks, something that works a little stronger and quicker, at least at first, but I would have just drank with them..) and this helped a bit. The biggest thing that helped me with the anxiety is just knowing that it gets better every day.... (Day 3 & 4 were my worst) And I don't want to go through those days again, so I try not to send myself back to the starting line.

The only people that can understand what you're going through right now are people who have gone through it, or are going through it. Its just the nature of the beast. Most people will tell you, If you want to quit drinking then just quit, or if you don't want to drink then why do you continue to do it? And honeslty, they're 100% right, but they don't understand the struggle people like us have.

This forum is the best place for me to talk about my struggle with alcohol, everyone else I talk to either gets uncomfortable, or can't relate. But what i've found is this place is enough for me, and its always available.

least

It is a possibility, it just takes effort and changes on your part.

Jeni26

Welcome Aunore.



Yes, we all understand here. This is a great place to find care and support. Good luck on your journey x

Medion

That was my life for the last 10 years - I can totally relate! Never missed a day of work...just kept going...but felt dreadful most of the time...

Carlotta

Welcome Aunore. Yes we do understand here. Congrats on your decision to quit, it's way much easier to be a sober alcoholic than an active one. Scheduling my life and work around my drinking was plain exhausting.
Do you have a plan/program? I go to AA and work the steps, use AVRT and of course this forum.
Look up the different methods and pick one you are comfortable with and stick with your decision not to drink no matter what. It will get easier as you accumulate more sober days.
Also I suggest you join the April's class so you can have the support of your peers, people who have quit at the same time and are going through the same things physically and emotionally.
Once again,

ReadyAtLast

welcome to SR.We've all been where you are now. This site is a great source of strength and support for me, and can be for you too

Dee74

We all understand here Aunore - I'm really glad you've joined us
Welcome
D

Aunore

Finally posting on this forum after reading other people's stories was the first step of my road to recovery. As of yet, I'm unsure of whether or not I want to attend AA considering I don't really feel comfortable going alone. Once I overcome that social anxiety barrier, I'll have to decide what to do next. In the meantime, one day at a time.