Nonsensical

You're not really 'self-destructive'. You just think you are. I used to think I was, too.

I would wake up in the morning to fresh negative results. I would look in the mirror and think, "Well, you knew there would be negative results."

So if I knew there were going to be negative results, but I did it anyway, then I must have sub-consciously wanted those negative results - right? I'm self-destructive.

It seems logical, but as it turns out, that's not at all true.

Whats' even worse - I would sometimes use that falsehood as an excuse to drink. Might as well, I'm self-destructive anyway.

I'm not self-destructive and neither are you. We are/were willing to suffer through negative consequences the next day because the immediate reward of satisfying that craving for alcohol seemed worth it at the time.

If you are hurting today just keep this in mind: you are here at SR because you want to be self-constructive. So, get after it.

We can do this!

least

I like your perspective.

Mizzuno

That's really well put. I like it.

Huglets

Great post Non!

I recall feeling doomed about 5 years ago. I thought drinking was just meant to be. My lot in life and I accepted it. I hated it but I was its slave.

I look back now and realize how irrational those thoughts were. But that's how active alcoholism talks. My AV was happy & content.

My AV is quiet now but I know it's lurking in the deep recesses of my mind.

But I'm not going back there. It's dark, lonely and depressing. I am NOT self-destructive.

ClearLight

Yup -- I've sung that song.

sobermax

Ha! Ace.

I used to WALLOW in that way of thinking like a big drunk, selfish hippo.

Thanks for the post.

Max

Hevyn

Love it, Nons. That was very helpful & so true.