new member looking for help ...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1
new member looking for help ...
Hi
Im a "functioning" alcoholic who is currently sober and spent five years in a relationship with a heroin addict. This relationship still causes me a huge amount of grief. I was hoping to find people who have been in a similar situation who were willing to discuss their experience. I find myself struggling to let go of him and it ...
Im a "functioning" alcoholic who is currently sober and spent five years in a relationship with a heroin addict. This relationship still causes me a huge amount of grief. I was hoping to find people who have been in a similar situation who were willing to discuss their experience. I find myself struggling to let go of him and it ...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Spokane
Posts: 66
Ugh, I just typed out a LONG response to you and my internet wigged out and I lost the post!!!
Anyways, first of all WELCOME!!! I hope you stick around because this place is full of so much support!!!
Second....I feel you KNOW what you need to do and what's best for you in the long run. I was in a relationship with my live in boyfriend who was also a heroin addict. His 3 year old daughter lived with us as well as my 3 babies. His daughter called me Mommy and my baby called him Daddy. We were SUPER close and loved eachother so much but ultimately with a sober mind now I see that we were on a path of destruction and there was NO WAY we would be any good for eachother, ourselves or our kids until we were both clean. He worshipped the ground I walked on BUT....
The day I chose to get clean I told him he had to get clean too in order for us to be together. He chose drugs and stopped talking to me that next day. It hurt like hell, I cried so much and felt like my heart had literally been ripped out of my chest. However, I am realizing that this was a BLESSING!!! My "cravings and urges" are triggered by stress. Well all he was, was STRESS STRESS and more STRESS. He wasnt healthy himself and didn't love himself so how did I figure we would have a healthy relationship?
I think you need to look out for YOU and YOUR sobriety. I have a boyfriend now who treats me like a QUEEN!! He has his own truck, house and job he was recently promoted at. Best of all is he is SOBER. Not even a RECOVERING addict which puts the focus on MY recovery. He encourages me and builds me up every day. He is an absolute blessing and huge breath of fresh air. He is who I DESERVE!!! He hasn't met my kids yet and wont for a long time as I am taking things VERY slow. Point is, there is better out there that will treat you better and be stable enough to build a future with. As a former drug addict I never truly thought about the future, I thought about "where and how will I get my next fix"
((HUGS))
Anyways, first of all WELCOME!!! I hope you stick around because this place is full of so much support!!!
Second....I feel you KNOW what you need to do and what's best for you in the long run. I was in a relationship with my live in boyfriend who was also a heroin addict. His 3 year old daughter lived with us as well as my 3 babies. His daughter called me Mommy and my baby called him Daddy. We were SUPER close and loved eachother so much but ultimately with a sober mind now I see that we were on a path of destruction and there was NO WAY we would be any good for eachother, ourselves or our kids until we were both clean. He worshipped the ground I walked on BUT....
The day I chose to get clean I told him he had to get clean too in order for us to be together. He chose drugs and stopped talking to me that next day. It hurt like hell, I cried so much and felt like my heart had literally been ripped out of my chest. However, I am realizing that this was a BLESSING!!! My "cravings and urges" are triggered by stress. Well all he was, was STRESS STRESS and more STRESS. He wasnt healthy himself and didn't love himself so how did I figure we would have a healthy relationship?
I think you need to look out for YOU and YOUR sobriety. I have a boyfriend now who treats me like a QUEEN!! He has his own truck, house and job he was recently promoted at. Best of all is he is SOBER. Not even a RECOVERING addict which puts the focus on MY recovery. He encourages me and builds me up every day. He is an absolute blessing and huge breath of fresh air. He is who I DESERVE!!! He hasn't met my kids yet and wont for a long time as I am taking things VERY slow. Point is, there is better out there that will treat you better and be stable enough to build a future with. As a former drug addict I never truly thought about the future, I thought about "where and how will I get my next fix"
((HUGS))
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
Glad you joined us.
You might get some fresh insight from this forum.Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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