sandraklp

Hi, just found these forums and figured I'd give it a try. I'm 39 and stopped drinking 3 weeks ago. Ive been a problem drinker/alcoholic for about 12 years now. I've been attending AA meetings daily and have gotten a sponsor and tried to begin the steps and whatnot. I'm having a couple of problems with AA so far...1.) I'm finding that people are not always reliable. I've picked a couple of different people as sponsors and often dont get a response when I call them...or else they don't show up for meetings regularly. I really do need someone reliable to talk to. 2.) I'm extremely shy. Talking in front of groups of people terrifies me. I know this is something that I probably need to overcome but it isnt going to change overnight. I like AA and really do want to give it a good try but am feeling slightly frustrated with it right now. I was having a pretty hard time last night not drinking...I kept thinking, "I can just get a 6 pack and no one will ever have to know." I didn't know who to talk to about it. I didn't do it though, so I guess that's good. Anyway, maybe there are people on here who will understand and possibly give me some input. I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

Gilmer

Welcome, Sandra.

CoffeeInstead

Welcome! And great job fighting the urge to get the six-pack! I have never gone to AA, but am sorry you are frustrated with it! Definitley keep posting here!

sandraklp

Yeah, it was pretty hard. I don't know, I just figured AA was the way to go and I do like it, just need to find the right people to support me. I probably should have gone to rehab, but cant afford to miss work for that long. Withdrawals were horrible, lol, but I got through it. But, I guess things like discussion forums may be helpful as much as anything and much easier for people like me who just are not outgoing. Thanks for the reply.

odaat

I just sat in meetings for the first few months, too scared to talk. One day the burning desire to share was there, and I shared regularly after that. I've suffered from social anxiety my entire adult life, but found speaking at AA (once I got over the initial fear) to be so much easier than talking in other situations. You have two ears but only one mouth, so listening is a valuable thing to do in meetings!

least

and congrats on three weeks sober! You'll find a lot of support here.

Hevyn

Welcome Sandra. You found a great place for help and encouragement.

I know how you feel, I'm very shy and self-conscious too. (One reason drinking seemed to help for awhile, but then it backfired.) I'm glad you came here to talk about your feelings and share what you're going through. I felt so much better when I found out I wasn't alone anymore.

grandma12

Welcome Sandra this is a great place for us that are disabled by shyness, lots of support. Your doing a great job keep it up

DoubleDragon

Hi Sandra,

Welcome to the boards, you'll find lots of support around here I'm sure. How do you find AA? I never really got into it. I've been struggling with quitting for a while, but I do realize that AA is not for me. It's interesting how you thought "I could get a six pack and noone would know".. I'm actually the opposite. I feel embarrassed about my problem with alcohol and don't really want anybody to know, so I pretend to drink at social functions (non alcoholic beer or wine). I know some people may find it lame, but I'm a very private person and I don't want people getting into my business. I want to quit for me, you know?

HealingMySoul

Welcome and congrats on 3 weeks!!! I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated right now. The people on this forum are VERY reliable so until you find a GOOD sponsor, you could always come here to vent or talk with us

sandgirl

Hi, well done on 2 weeks-I tried to go to an AA meeting the other day but wasn`t sure it would work for me so I`m going to a councillor instead-one to one might be a better option? A lot of people who have been sober for quite a while have recommended it:-). All the best.

sandgirl

Sorry 3 weeks-another thing I need to book, an eye test lol ;-).

shauninspain

Congratulations on your 3 weeks of clear minded and healthy living. I think you're right, a sponsor should be someone who has a good deal of clean time under their belt, and who takes a real interest in spreading the message of sobriety. That's not to say that a sponsor will keep you sober. I was once sponsored by a guy who was himself sponsored by Clancy (who was sponsored by Bill W). And I drank many times. It all comes down to how much the individual wants it.

sandraklp

Wow, lots of replies. Thanks to every one of you for taking the time to read what I wrote, I do appreciate it. I did (or do, it hasnt been that long ago that I quit) most of my drinking alone. I usually do just listen in the AA meetings and always hear at least a few things I can relate to, although I have been to enough meetings by now that I have been asked to speak. I mumble a few things about being glad to be there or whatever and kind of feel like an idiot...but I'll get used to it. Also, getting used to the idea of saying prayers and whatnot...that is new to me, but if it helps then I am willing to try. Again, thank you all for the kind words of support and I wish you all the very best in your own recoveries. I reckon Ill post again when something comes up that I wanna talk about.

Sally3127

Sandra, don't give up on AA.

The motto is "Keep coming back, it works if you work it."

Congratulations on e weeks.

Dee74

welcome to SR sandra

D

sandraklp

Sally, I have no plans on giving up on AA. I'm starting to enjoy it. I have met some pretty amazing people there already, they really are inspirational. I just gotta find a good, reliable sponsor! But I do realize that the only person that can keep me sober is myself. I have been sober for 24 days now. I alternate between feeling wonderful and feeling really irritable and anxious. I hope that levels out some.

sandraklp

Also, waking up hangover-free is like the best thing ever.

2granddaughters

A sponsor and the oldtimers will help you through the ups and downs of recovery.

I had to learn to let go and trust the oldtimers ... to quit driving the bus and just do what was "suggested".

I went through a "down" period last fall, I've been sober in AA for nearly 24 yrs. I sat and talked to the 30-40 yr oldtimers and found out I was right on track.

I have posted this before but maybe it will help you. It helped me. It's a video of Don C explaining the recovery process . 4 Seasons of Recovery - YouTube

All the best.

Bob R

Hefner

Hi Sandra and welcome.

Let me start by congratulating you on 3 weeks of sobriety! Also big ups to you for fighting that urge to go get that 6 pack. You now have armed yourself for the war. I know that feeling. It's overwhelming. Gotta have that beer! But you didn't. And I know the feeling when you wake up the next day after winning that battle. It's very rewarding. Remember that feeling. Remember how hard it was to fight that urge to drink and REMEMBER that you were able to overcome that urge. And now try and picture a day when those urges are a distant bad memory. A day when YOU are giving the advice to someone else because YOU have been there. I was you. I AM you. As far as meetings go I have never attended AA but did have to go to the Sobriety Inn aka 3 day AA meeting locked in a Hotel after I got my D.U.I. I guess it beats jail right? Anyways I did take something away with me when I left there. I reached a point somewhere into my sobriety where it no longer was a struggle. Where my life was simply my life again without alcohol. I do everything that I use to with the exception of my daily excursion to the bar and mini mart for backups at home. And I don't feel any urges. Now I know at any time something could possibly trigger an urge, I've read stories on here about relapse, but so far I am feeling great. I stated in a post on here elsewhere that I consider myself in Alcohol remission. I am not cured. The disease could come back and could come back with a vengeance but right now I am just a guy living as normal a life as other people only I know what my past was. My method of getting sober and staying sober was this. I involved my family. I am lucky to have my parents both still alive and I invited them by 3 months after my D.U.I, yes it took that long to build up the courage, and I basically had my own A.A. Meeting with them. It was the first time that I EVER came out and just said " I'm an Alcoholic ". Tears were shed and I felt like finally I could breath. The dark secret was out. And they still loved me. I also found out in being open about my D.U.I to my neighbors, I couldn't hide from it because it happened 3 driveways from my House and right in front of theirs, that my neighbor whom I had known for a long time was 30 years sober. He was a recovering alcoholic. I now had someone who I could confide in other then my family. Someone who was like me. Someone who knows what you go through. Sorry I was so long winded but if you watch me on here I tend to rattle on. I guess its like therapy for me also to talk about my story. The point in all of this is that I am 11 months sober and I did it without meetings but I didn't do it alone. I have also promised my parents and myself that if it ever feels like my grip on sobriety is slipping away I will without hesitation find a local meeting and immerse myself in support. So far. So good.

Sending positivity and strength your way.