ppatterson

Sitting here at work with nothing to do. Lonely. Confused. I know I need to quit. I know how to. I just don't. I'm a functioning alcoholic. Steady job. My kids love me. My wife loves me. Empty feeling inside me. I want to curl up and quit. Things would be better I know, if I did. Just can't. Lost. There doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't see things getting better. I don't feel like I'm living my life. Work, sleep, work, sleep, work, sleep with a day off but it's not a day off. No time to sit. Be quite. Collect my thoughts. Be me. Be me. Not what everyone wants me to be. They love me and I am a mess. I wish I could do it for them. For me. For my mental state.

Hevyn

You're not curling up and quitting, though - you're reaching out and trying to come up with some answers. That's a brave thing to do. I hope you'll find the incentive to give sobriety a try. It doesn't sound like drinking is doing you any favors or enhancing your life, p.

Glad you are here to talk about it. We want to help.

doggonecarl

You can. One simple step. Decide alcohol no longer has a place in your life.

Then do whatever it takes to be the person you and your loved ones know you can be. Sober.

Good luck.

Mizzuno

For me, I have to give as much effort into my sobriety as I did with my drinking. I walked down to my local sober club (AA), got on here and posted, started to feel my way through the mess, reached out for family and friends to support me, prayed like nobody's business. Take it slow and steady. One step at a time..... You can do this. Many of us are. Please keep posting. We are here with endless support.

Anna

Know for sure that you can do this, and we are here to offer support.

Soberween

I once felt like you. Hopeless. I would do the reverse "one day at a time." I'll drink just one more day and then tomorrow I'll quit drinking. Like in sobriety, one day turns into two, then a week, then a month and then a year, but instead I was an alcoholic for years (not sober). I always hated the first day of sobriety. What worked for me was to really take care of myself. I ate a lot of comfort food, drank lots of fluids and slept. You start to feel physically and mentally better each day of sobriety that you gain. You really can do this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just need to man up to it and look a little harder for it. Good luck.

shoreladylu

Don't be scared to try to stop. Alcohol will always be there if you truly want to go back to it. Your family loves you now, but can you say that your family will always love you the same as they do now if you don't at least try to stop? Alcoholism is progressive, and I'm guessing you know that. The motivation is inside of you, or you wouldn't be reaching out. You don't want alcohol to take more of your life. You can do it!

CoffeeInstead

You can do this! I feel that same way with the work, sleep, work, sleep. Today is my first day and I fear that I am gonna fail, fear that I am gonna get bored and want a drink when I get home from work.

But I am making a list of things I want to accomplish tonight to help me through it. Hopefully it will keep me busy and my mind off of that drink!

duane1

I think at one time many of us were functional as alcoholics. I considered myself one for many years. Slowly though I became less functional. Less functional with controlling my emotions around my family. Less functional with getting to work on time and providing an honest days work at my job. Less ability to be able to tell myself to not have that last glass of wine that I knew I would pay for in the morning. I have a feeling that if you quit, you would realize that you weren't functioning at near the level you thought you were.

least

I understand the feeling that's impossible. But it's not! As Carl said, make a decision that alcohol has no place in your life and start sober today. You can do this!

ScottFromWI

I was you exactly Ppatterson. Good job, good family, but I knew drinking was starting to take it's toll. And it will eventually, alcohol erodes slowly away at things. The only question is when it will get bad, and how bad it will get. You are very fortunate (as I was) to be able to get out before things get really bad. All you have to do is make the decision, which is not easy obviously. And it won't get better overnight...i'm getting close to 3 months in myself and I still feel the effects of my years of drinking, both physically and emotionally.

But I can tell you it will be better. And you can do it, we all have. Do it for yourself and for your family. I always thought my kids didn't know but they did indirectly - by me falling asleep at night, or the beer bottles daddy always had around the house, etc.

Welcome to SR, i certainly hope you can make the decision to better your life - and stay with us to get support and please read/write as much as you like to get better.

shauninspain

You will be amazed at the changes in mental state which will occur once alcohol is no longer part of the equation. Not overnight, no. But the oppressive dark cloud will dissipate, and at first, a few rays of light will pass through. Gradually your outlook will change from looking at the pavement to looking at the stars. Nothing in your life might change. Same job, same wife and kids, same house, same car etc etc. But something more grateful, and something more at peace will enter in to your heart. When it does, you might feel the strength to look at things in an altogether different way and from a changed perspective.

Lets face it. You have a choice to make. a) You carry on to the bitter end as you are. Or, b) You muster your strength and announce to yourself that you are going to make a change of habit/lifestyle, which will lead you in a different direction mentally, emotionally and physically.