Do they ever change?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 31
Do they ever change?
My exabf was released from prison on Feb 28. Those of you that have read my previous posts know that he was released briefly in Oct 2012, but went back to prison. During his previous one month of release he was high about 5 times I think. Anyway, since he's been home this time I've spoken to him a few times. One time I know he was high. He claims he is not using and is going to do better. All the good stuff they are supposed to say! He is not attending any meetings or really anything for his addiction that he's mentioned. He constantly asks to visit me, but I won't allow it. I'm wondering is it necessary for a long time addict (20 years at least) to get clean without any help? I'm not pushing him on getting help because that is something for him to worry about. When I do talk to him it's a pretty short conversation, I really don't believe much he says. I'm wondering for my own benefit if it's possible to be successful to stop using drugs without any assistance. I think I heard a term used for substance abusers that are just not using at the time, but not in recovery, is that what he's doing? Thanks for any input...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 92
I can only speak for myself.
I drank and used drugs for 22 years. I've been clean and sober now for a little over seven months. There is absolutely no way I could do it on my own. I tried that for 12 of the 22 years.
I spent 13 months in jail and that wasn't enough to stop me.
I have a lot of support. I go to meetings, I have a sponsor, I do the step work and I stay connected with other women in recovery. It's working and I'm so grateful.
I drank and used drugs for 22 years. I've been clean and sober now for a little over seven months. There is absolutely no way I could do it on my own. I tried that for 12 of the 22 years.
I spent 13 months in jail and that wasn't enough to stop me.
I have a lot of support. I go to meetings, I have a sponsor, I do the step work and I stay connected with other women in recovery. It's working and I'm so grateful.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Anything is possible.....the question is......is it probable that he is cleaning up with no help, no counseling, no group therapy, no 12 steps, or something? No. Not probable.
You've already said that you think he's been using. Trust your gut.
gentle hugs
ke
You've already said that you think he's been using. Trust your gut.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i don't mean to be snarky but if he's your EX then what's the real deal here? why are you keeping such close tabs on what HE is doing and STILL asking questions about whether he's in recovery or not?
imagine how many other nicer happier things you could worry about than whether or not an former boyfriends is using or not?
imagine how many other nicer happier things you could worry about than whether or not an former boyfriends is using or not?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 31
Actually I'm not keeping close tabs on him. I was asking the question for my benefit and understanding. If he is using or not is none of my concern and the few times I've spoken to him I don't even ask him about what he's doing.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
