One week down

Old 04-01-2013, 03:24 PM
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One week down

Yippee! He seems so committed to staying dry and is doing it on his own (not a plus, but..it is what it is). We don't have any kids this week, so a lot of normal triggers are out of the house. That probably helps a little. He is experiencing some withdrawals and some moodiness, but overall, it is so much easier to handle than when he is drunk.

I will admit, it is so strange being with him sober. I have found myself wanting a cocktail and purposely not having one because I fear him wanting one or being upset that I have one. Either way, if I have to not have one once and a while cus he is around to keep him dry, it is worth it.

My Alanon group only meets on Mondays. Last Monday was my first one. I wanted to go tonight, but AH wants to go out to dinner since we have no children...not sure what to do...
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Old 04-01-2013, 04:04 PM
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Yippee, indeed! SO glad it's been more peaceful for you.

As for tonight & your meeting...any way you guys can go out to dinner tomorrow night instead? The restaurant will still be there tomorrow - your meeting won't.
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Old 04-01-2013, 06:22 PM
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I didn't go to the meeting, but I did call and have a chat with one of the ladies from the meeting. Right before I left he told me he had a surprise for me. He told me to go ahead and book our vacation with all five kids and to pay for the first night. He said to put 15.00 daily into our savings to pay for the rest of it, as that is what he was spending in booze everyday. He also promised to work three extra nights to cover the cost of our hotel while there. He feels having a goal will help motivate him to stay dry.

He told his kids tonight. They were so very excited. Now...if for some reason this falls through, I am not going to sweep up the pieces with the kids...just saying!
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Old 04-01-2013, 09:23 PM
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I have followed/read your threads.

Be careful, from my own personal experience, he is simply shifting the focus. If you are all excited about vacation, you wont be paying attention to his drinking/actions..

IMHO, I do not believe active alkies can achieve sobriety WITHOUT committing to a recovery program.

Personally, I have lived through this band-aid period. It did not last.

More is going to be revealed.

Best to be prepared.
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Old 04-02-2013, 04:50 PM
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If it were me, I would be (very) cautiously optimistic. (What I started to type first was "hooray?") I agree with Marie in that more will be revealed, time will tell. Maybe it will be helpful for him to have a motivator, I don't know. All you can do is to take it day by day and keep taking care of you and the kids.

Side question...IF something were to happen and he was not sober at the time of the trip, would you be able to or be okay with taking the kids & going without him?
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:28 PM
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As long as I could financially do it, I would. Last year, I took all five kids camping by myself! Holy cow, was that work! We went five hours north of here, but had loads of fun. We met all my cousins up there and it was one of the best vacations I have ever had. I'd do it again with just the kids in a heartbeat!
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Old 04-02-2013, 07:25 PM
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The vacation thing has been a discussion here too, only because we had already booked a trip and now that AH and I are separated during his recovery, I was wondering how to handle it. We decided the same thing mentioned earlier, if he's sober, we all go. If not, I'm going to take the kids myself. I agree, it's nice to have a goal and if that works - yay! But. . .just in case, I'd have plan #2 ready.
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