Confused
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Yap hank NY
Posts: 1
Confused
Yes I feel confused, I don't want to completely stop drinking wine. I enjoy it. I just want to be the way I used to be and just have it on occasion, not every day. I never thought of myself as an alcoholic, but if I don't have wine every day now I get the shakes and palpations. These are quite uncomfortable, especially along with the effects of menopause following a hysterectomy. I suffer from depression as well.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Welcome to SR. I was a wine lover too. About 12 bottles a week. Since quitting my hormones have been better and I'm calmer. I too love the thought of drinking a glass of wine again- the smell of a good red etc, but I know I can never drink again. The romantic thoughts are replaced with the truth- heartburn, gastritis, sweating, heart palpitations, depression and apathy.
Read around and make yourself comfortable.
S x
Read around and make yourself comfortable.
S x
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I tried to cut back for ten years. I lived in bitterness and frustration. The bottom line was, I wanted to get drunk. It came to the point where i wouldn't even bother to participate if I knew I was going to be cut off at one glass. I knew I'd never be able to be a moderate social drinker, so, by the Lord's grace, I quit altogether.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
I too carried the hope of moderation, as I really enjoyed my wine (or so I thought)! It wasn’t until I began to accumulate weeks of abstinence that I realized that my wine consumption was the reason behind many of the symptoms I associated with menopause. Make a goal of 30 days and see how you feel; you may decide at that time that wine isn’t as alluring as previously thought! I found that my depression and insomnia mysteriously disappeared around that period, along with night sweats, heart palpitations and irritability! I still get a few hot flashes once in a while, but that I know is menopausal related…lol!
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,066
Welcome!
We say this all the time here , but it is certainly true in your situation: you really need to talk to your doctor (or a specialist) about this. It sounds as if you have an alcohol addiction, and dealing with that on top of your other challenges will require help.
You may need some long-term medication, and with all of these there are side-effects and risks. You can great great information here at SR in places like the Women's forum (I have no idea what goes on there
) and the Mental Health section (some posts there are by folks who are very anti-medication 
).
Thanks for joining!
We say this all the time here , but it is certainly true in your situation: you really need to talk to your doctor (or a specialist) about this. It sounds as if you have an alcohol addiction, and dealing with that on top of your other challenges will require help.
You may need some long-term medication, and with all of these there are side-effects and risks. You can great great information here at SR in places like the Women's forum (I have no idea what goes on there
) and the Mental Health section (some posts there are by folks who are very anti-medication 
).Thanks for joining!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
DiBr:
I understand your wishes, I too wish I could return to the part of my life when I drank socially and in somewhat of a moderated way. However, i realized multiple times that It's not possible as i eventually return to daily drinking. If you decide to quit totally, there are many things you can look at to help not only with your withdrawal, but also the other physical and mental symptoms you describe with your physician. It's entirely possible that some of them are caused by your drinking, but only a doctor can tell you for sure.
Wish you the best of luck, and welcome to SR. Keep reading and writing as you feel it helps. Ask lots of questions, there is almost always someone here with their ears open!
I understand your wishes, I too wish I could return to the part of my life when I drank socially and in somewhat of a moderated way. However, i realized multiple times that It's not possible as i eventually return to daily drinking. If you decide to quit totally, there are many things you can look at to help not only with your withdrawal, but also the other physical and mental symptoms you describe with your physician. It's entirely possible that some of them are caused by your drinking, but only a doctor can tell you for sure.
Wish you the best of luck, and welcome to SR. Keep reading and writing as you feel it helps. Ask lots of questions, there is almost always someone here with their ears open!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
Alcohol makes depression much worse. My depression is a lot more manageable now that I'm sober and my meds for it work as they should. Do see your doctor for help in getting off alcohol. It's a toxic liquid that you don't need anyway.
Getting the shakes and palpitations is a sure sign of alcohol dependence. I'd advise you give it up now before it gets worse.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,334
I used to love wine too and thought it helped with menopause symptoms. Truth is, I think it made them worse! I sleep and feel so much better without it.
I agree, shakes and palpitations sounds like a good reason to talk with your doctor.
I agree, shakes and palpitations sounds like a good reason to talk with your doctor.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: The Emerald City
Posts: 434
Welcome to SR! I agree with what others said about seeing a doctor. I think that health needs to be a top priority, and with that said the shakes and palpitations are nothing to be taken lightly. I was never viewed by others as an alcoholic, in fact my friends would probably still fiercely debate me on it because I never drank much in front of them. However, being a private heavy wine drinker for several years, I began to see the physical effects taking a huge toll on my health. I'm 45 and my hormones were off, I was fighting off depression daily and I started gaining weight and could not take it off, and the facial puff would not go away. I thought that I could control my drinking and just limit it to 1 glass of wine or maybe 2 per night,...but guess what, that never happened, despite years of convincing myself I could self limit. Remember that after that first drink, inhibitions are gone as well as the rest of the bottle. It wasn't until I became honest with myself and realized that I cannot drink, at all. Not even on occasion, because your mind functions differently after you consume alcohol. Now after a few months of complete sobriety, my depression is gone, my hormones are balancing back, my face is no longer puffy and I've even lost ten pounds. It's amazing at how damaging alcohol really is to our bodies and we assume it's anything else but the alcohol.
Good luck and stay tuned with SR, it's a very supportive and helpful place.
Good luck and stay tuned with SR, it's a very supportive and helpful place.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
welcome to SR
This was me for many years - even after I stopped enjoying drinking, I still was trying to find a way back to just having it on occasion....
of course, if I'd been totally honest with my self I would have admitted I never drank in a genteel way.
We can't go back - this alcohol thing is a one way street that gets narrower and narrower...the only real way I found to get out was to get off that street entirely.
I understand you still love it - I used to say the same - I didn't tho really...I loved the anticipation, I loved being with my mates...but really...I hated what I was doing to myself and my life and I was just scared to stop.
If you have shaking and palpitations then you're more than just a casual drinker DiBr.
Accepting that I couldn't drink seemed like a ball and chain back then to me...but in fact it turned out to be an open door.
D
I don't want to completely stop drinking wine. I enjoy it. I just want to be the way I used to be and just have it on occasion, not every day.
of course, if I'd been totally honest with my self I would have admitted I never drank in a genteel way.
We can't go back - this alcohol thing is a one way street that gets narrower and narrower...the only real way I found to get out was to get off that street entirely.
I understand you still love it - I used to say the same - I didn't tho really...I loved the anticipation, I loved being with my mates...but really...I hated what I was doing to myself and my life and I was just scared to stop.
If you have shaking and palpitations then you're more than just a casual drinker DiBr.
Accepting that I couldn't drink seemed like a ball and chain back then to me...but in fact it turned out to be an open door.
D
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
