How do you walk away from something that is 99% fun?
How do you walk away from something that is 99% fun?
The remaining 1% is a dark and very scary place. Blacking out, vomiting, harassing women, fighting, OD'ing on amphetamines, OD'ing on alcohol, etc, etc...
I've been there. I last went there about a month ago. I'll go there again if I keep at it, not kidding myself about that anymore.
But 99% is like last night. Easter day party. Hammered and stoned but still in control. We played volleyball indoors (we were all pretty hammered and stoned). Made vague plans to go see a movie with a friend tonight, and I know that's going to turn into a pub crawl if it happens. I'm hoping he forgot the conversation (there's at least a 50-50 chance). I'd rather relax and order me some chinese, to be honest...
To be less cryptic, I relapsed last night, had an absolute blast and it's affected my resolve quite a bit. And I was pretty low on that to begin with.
The rational part of me really DOES want to walk away while it's still mostly fun, but there's another part of me that has a different agenda. Not sure how I deal with that.
I've been there. I last went there about a month ago. I'll go there again if I keep at it, not kidding myself about that anymore.
But 99% is like last night. Easter day party. Hammered and stoned but still in control. We played volleyball indoors (we were all pretty hammered and stoned). Made vague plans to go see a movie with a friend tonight, and I know that's going to turn into a pub crawl if it happens. I'm hoping he forgot the conversation (there's at least a 50-50 chance). I'd rather relax and order me some chinese, to be honest...
To be less cryptic, I relapsed last night, had an absolute blast and it's affected my resolve quite a bit. And I was pretty low on that to begin with.
The rational part of me really DOES want to walk away while it's still mostly fun, but there's another part of me that has a different agenda. Not sure how I deal with that.
You're doing a lot better than me then. I can't put a number on it, but damaged relationships, wrecked fiances, stalled careers, terrible hangovers etc,etc...
By the time I threw in the towel the numbers were close to being reversed, 1% fun, 99% hell.
By the time I threw in the towel the numbers were close to being reversed, 1% fun, 99% hell.
The numbers soon change,often without you noticing.You wake up one morning and there is no fun element anymore.I forgot when it stopped being fun at all really.When I was at 99% fun there was no way I was ready to quit.Are you sure your percentages are right? At 99% fun I never even thought I had a problem.
I walked away because the 1 percent was a view of the path I was on. Then it quickly became 5 percent. Then 15.
How far down the path do I need to go?
No further.
Once I realized I was going the wrong direction I got willing to seek the road that would go where I want to end up.
Sounds like you are not convinced yet. You say you had a blast by relapsing.
The trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.
Good luck.
How far down the path do I need to go?
No further.
Once I realized I was going the wrong direction I got willing to seek the road that would go where I want to end up.
Sounds like you are not convinced yet. You say you had a blast by relapsing.
The trouble with trouble is it starts out as fun.
Good luck.
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
Are you sure your percentages are right? At 99% fun I never even thought I had a problem.
I know I have a problem because I don't pass out gently into that good night, so to speak. I don't recall ever losing control without it turning into an absolute train wreck.
Incidentally, the hangover express is pulling into the station as we speak.
Originally Posted by Fallow
Once I realized I was going the wrong direction I got willing to seek the road that would go where I want to end up.
Sounds like you are not convinced yet. You say you had a blast by relapsing.
Sounds like you are not convinced yet. You say you had a blast by relapsing.
Alcohol and drugs manipulated my perception of fun. It was like this:
Come home from work, drink to relax, then miss the whole relaxation point, move directly to buzzed, drunk actually, start fights with my dh or seduce him in hopes of him not realizing how wasted I would be. And at some point in there, I would talk to peeps on the phone or text people and have zero recollection of what I said. Fun? No!! Exhausting and emotionally ripping myself apart inside yes!!!!! Embarrassing yes!!!!
And on the nights I would go out with my friends, I would pre game at home, get wasted while out and never remember the ride home. Pathetic! Some times I would even pass out in the bar. Super fun.
I am hands down so happy that life is behind me. I never have to face those demons again if I don't want to. It's so freeing, and way more fun!
Check your statistics.... They seem a bit off balance. Truly whole heartedly reevaluate you fun/hell ratio. You may be surprised.
Come home from work, drink to relax, then miss the whole relaxation point, move directly to buzzed, drunk actually, start fights with my dh or seduce him in hopes of him not realizing how wasted I would be. And at some point in there, I would talk to peeps on the phone or text people and have zero recollection of what I said. Fun? No!! Exhausting and emotionally ripping myself apart inside yes!!!!! Embarrassing yes!!!!
And on the nights I would go out with my friends, I would pre game at home, get wasted while out and never remember the ride home. Pathetic! Some times I would even pass out in the bar. Super fun.
I am hands down so happy that life is behind me. I never have to face those demons again if I don't want to. It's so freeing, and way more fun!
Check your statistics.... They seem a bit off balance. Truly whole heartedly reevaluate you fun/hell ratio. You may be surprised.
For me, the vast majority of my drinking experiences were fun, nothing bad happened. But when I thought long and hard, when bad things did happen, most of the time I'd been drinking. Since I've been sober rarely do the bad things happen like: hangovers, fights, missed appointments, not remembering conversations, not being there for my family, embarrassing behavior, and on and on...
I don't believe you on the 99% part. If you add up all the bad stuff (including hangovers and the times you overeat because of drinking) I bet it adds up to more than 1%...
I reckon you are where I was about maybe 5 years ago. I didn't have many negative consequences but I knew it must be a problem because of the sheer amount I drank. Nevertheless, when I started getting uncontrollable anxiety and nerve damage from my drinking it hit me like a train. There came a point when I desperately needed to stop but found I couldn't.
You're a smart guy, maybe you should just look at this as something you should be able to do. If drinking isn't a problem for you 99% of the time then it should be no bother giving it up for say, a year? It may be fun but that doesn't mean you have to do it. Stop rationalising why you should drink and just give it up for the hell of it. Give it up before you have to x
I reckon you are where I was about maybe 5 years ago. I didn't have many negative consequences but I knew it must be a problem because of the sheer amount I drank. Nevertheless, when I started getting uncontrollable anxiety and nerve damage from my drinking it hit me like a train. There came a point when I desperately needed to stop but found I couldn't.
You're a smart guy, maybe you should just look at this as something you should be able to do. If drinking isn't a problem for you 99% of the time then it should be no bother giving it up for say, a year? It may be fun but that doesn't mean you have to do it. Stop rationalising why you should drink and just give it up for the hell of it. Give it up before you have to x
Someguy, started out that way for me to, 99% fun, 1% dark, but those figures did reverse themselves and it took me over 40 years to hit rock bottom. In important ways I wasted a life time, I hope you don't do the same.
For me, the vast majority of my drinking experiences were fun, nothing bad happened. But when I thought long and hard, when bad things did happen, most of the time I'd been drinking. Since I've been sober rarely do the bad things happen like: hangovers, fights, missed appointments, not remembering conversations, not being there for my family, embarrassing behavior, and on and on...
Quitting drinking took away a whole bunch of my major problems with one change in behavior.
Hi Someguy. Glad you want to discuss this.
I agree with the others, the '99% fun' thing will inevitably change over time. If that figure is accurate (and only you know the truth) don't expect it to stay that way for long. Over time you'll develop a tolerance to booze - it'll take more and more to achieve the desired effect, and that changes everything. I went from having a wonderful time with it to being completely dependent on it. Buzzed on a few beers, to downing a 30-pack all by myself in a day. Please be careful, you're on a dangerous path.
I agree with the others, the '99% fun' thing will inevitably change over time. If that figure is accurate (and only you know the truth) don't expect it to stay that way for long. Over time you'll develop a tolerance to booze - it'll take more and more to achieve the desired effect, and that changes everything. I went from having a wonderful time with it to being completely dependent on it. Buzzed on a few beers, to downing a 30-pack all by myself in a day. Please be careful, you're on a dangerous path.
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