DaveyT

Hey guys, having an awful day today. As I've stated before I have a physical disability unrelated to the drinking which causes terrible amounts of fatigue and physical pain. It's awful today, I'm just exhausted, every muscle hurts. It's hard to describe but imagine someone placing a book on your thigh and then standing on it for several hours, a crushing pain but on every muscle. Moving is slow, stiff and unpleasant. This is one of the reasons I end up drinking, because it's a natural pain killer, I can drink, the pain goes off and then I pass out asleep and don't have to suffer. The pain killers I use (non addictive) barely touch the pain.

I'm not someone who has ever suffered depression despite the pain and fatigue but today I just feel awfully down. The last time I was sober for 3 months I had no emotional symptoms but this recent withdrawal threw some of that at me and I guess today the early abstinence mixed with the degree of physical discomfort is just bringing me way way down. I'm feeling sorry for people who suffer depression because it must be awful being like this all the time.

Just had to vent to someone guys, I don't want to depress you all. I won't drink, I know if I do then I'll just end up feeling worse tomorrow and there will be shame on top of it all. But it's very hard to resist when I'm like this.

Nonsensical

Sorry you're dealing with that.

There must be some better pain management available? You've been dealing with this for a while, so I suspect you've thought this through (being the thinking type). Why is your pain medication insufficient? Why aren't you on stronger stuff?

Received

Davey I'm sorry you're hurting and feeling so down. I hope you can get some relief for the pain and please don't worry about venting here. For me, it's better to get it out and talk or write about it then to have swirling all around in my head.

DaveyT

Well I was put on some powerful NSAID drugs and they worked but they screwed up my digestive system very badly so I had to stop taking them. I recovered from the effects but I can no longer take strong NSAIDS. I take paracetemol and ibuprofen daily but it's over the counter stuff.

The only option is opiate drugs and as I'm an alcohol addict I fear taking those in case I'm the kind of person who generally is more likely to become addicted to stuff. There is no point switching one drug for another. Some days I think I should just get those drugs and feel better, like today I'm thinking that but it's probably not the best idea.

Nonsensical

Yeah, that would be a tough call. If you need pain meds for life (as it seems you do) then who cares if you become addicted? Unless that led to abuse - taking more than you need and not just for pain.

There seems to be a whole forum here dedicated to pain management for addicts. Any useful stuff there? I've never looked.

RobbyRobot

Yeah, the forum is a great resource. DesertEyes, one of the forum leaders, gives plenty of links. Here is one maybe helpful:

American Chronic Pain Association - Resource Guide to Chronic Pain Medications & Treatment

Sorry you're having a bad day today, Davey. I've been disabled since I was a year old (polio). Now I deal with post-polio syndrome. It has its challenges to be sure, with muscle pain management and weakness. I have empathy for you. Hang in there.

There are many ways to manage pain, and have a quality life which includes sobriety, so please be re-affirmed, knowing that returning to drinking as a management tool does not have to be any kind of an answer anymore. Don't settle for same old same old. There are better effective choices to make.

Have a look at the link, if you haven't already.

DaveyT

Thanks Robby I'm reading that link now. I've never been addicted to anything except alcohol and after the battle I'm having with that I don't want to even risk another addiction. You're right, alcohol isn't the way to deal with the pain and in the end I know that drinking only relieves the pain in the very short term. Each morning after drinking I wake up and the pain is far worse than the day before, so then I have to drink again. Not a good pattern.

SoberKnitter

Sorry you're feeling down, Davey. Take good care of yourself today.

DaveyT

I am still sober btw. I've learned the lesson that despite helping the pain initially it has too many negative effects to bother with. Today is actually a big test of that attitude and it seems I'm sticking to it.

DaveyT

Still not good today but despite the pain I'm feeling strong. Yesterday was a big test of my resolve, it would have been so easy to pick up a bottle of wine and relieve the pain in my muscles and joints, but I resisted the urge. It's nice knowing I have managed to defeat the big cause for my drinking, it might be a single battle but it feels like the war is over.

Going back to my doctor this week to talk through some other options for pain management, hopefully something good will be suggested.

Odelle

Chronic pain can be debilitating, I know. I have been suffering from arthritis in my knees and shoulders for years. I too can't take NSAIDs because they cause me great stomach discomfort. One supplement I found most helpful is Sam-E, which also helps as a mood stabilizer. Recently, I decided to try a couple of other supplements instead of Sam-E since they received great reviews, but after six weeks I have had increasing joint discomfort so back to Sam-E today. One website that is useful for natural remedy ideas is earthclinic.com. Just use some common sense, as recommendations are from people sharing their ESH and what works for one person may not work for another. An age-old remedy for sore muscles (and joints) is a hot bath with two cups of Epson Salts, inexpensive and great results. I am not a doctor or a naturopathic advisor, just a former alcoholic looking for natural remedies to enhance my recovery.

DaveyT

Odelle, a nice hot shower does help a bit, discovered that by accident but it doesn't make enough of a dent to really help. It does reduce the stiffness in the muscles though so moving is easier.

Glad to know I'm not the only person who had trouble with strong NSAID's, although for me it went beyond discomfort and into hospital So I can't take them ever again.

Hopefully the doctor will help me out this week. No natural treatment that I have tried even slightly helps. On the days when I'm not in agony I have found a gentle massage helps.

lovetosail

Hi Davey- I don't post often, but your post really caught my attention.

I too have chronic pain issues. I quit drinking for good 22 years ago. Went to a doctor for migraines/back pain several years later and ended up on painkillers. Twenty years later I'm still struggling with staying off the opiates.

So my advise to you is find another way to manage your pain. Hot baths, physical therapy, ice,massage..just know you are taking a huge risk by going down the opiate path.

I wish I would have never gotten started.

I really hope you find some relief soon. I will be here for you if I can offer help.

DaveyT

I didn't want to start on the opiate drugs for this very reason and you just reinforced my belief on the issue. Opiates are just awful drugs, I understand they have their place in medicine but if I can possibly avoid taking them for the pain then I think that's the best option.

UK doctors do not like prescribing opiates, which should suggest how much pain I'm in as my doctor recommended them. My appointment was rearranged for friday, fingers crossed for that.

DaveyT

Just wanted to update this. I've seen my doctor and he didn't know how to treat me so he's sending me to a specialist pain clinic. I am sure they will know what to do as they deal with all sorts of people, from cancer patients to MS sufferers and people with chronic back pain.

So yeah it was a good idea to finally go and see the doctor again, looking forward to a more comfortable, pain reduced, sober future

SoberKnitter

Great news!

Received

Hey Davey.

Was thinking about you today. You hanging in there?

DaveyT

Yeah I'm still hanging around the forums reading other peoples stories. Still sober despite the pain. Just trying to stick with it

Received

That's good to hear Davey. I'm sorry about the pain and hope they can get it to more manageable levels.

bemyself

I can't recall if it's been mentioned already, Davey, but I wonder if you might find the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn helpful. He started up a thing years ago (at U of Massachusetts hospital I think) to train people in chronic pain in mindfulness meditation.

I bought one of his CD's a while ago - pretty cheap, and is effectively like being in a guided meditation class, and explicitly for coping with bad pain.