kat1973

I was reminded by a book by Melody Beatie how important it is to express your feelings. I then realised I not only spent months or perhaps years expressing my feelings but I didn't know what I was feeling. I am a lonely woman, a homebody who places importance on taking care of and protecting my cat. I find relationships exhausting probably because the time I spend with people is about putting on an act. Nobody knows I am in a relationship with a heroin addict, an unfulfilling, lonely relationship. Nevertheless, he really is the only person that "knows" me in my life. Knows my depression, my apathy, etc. Some guy I know sent me a txt "what's news?" I was downright honest about what was news & I got no reply. I was not impressed. Over a year ago my user and I split > my choice. Home sold > very upsetting. Moved self & sweet kitty into rented home > planned to buy after a year but health issues arose> no surprise and began working less. Savings start to get eaten away on living expenses. User ex evicted by landlord > no surprise and needs a roof. Ok, screwed me emotionally but is aiding financially. Yes this addict has money > mother passed and left estate. Interesting, an addict with money but not for long I imagine. He is a lonely fool like I. All this is what's on my mind. Crazy, nonsensical maybe but this is what I am thinking about.

sugarbear1

hugs to you

There is a way out.

Rational Recovery
AVRT
SMART
Women for Sobriety
Life Ring
SOS
Power to Quit
All have their own websites.

AA has in person meetings or online meetings--the 12 steps are the program of recovery.

Something will work to help you stay stopped!

Anna

Hi Kat,

I hope that you can find some peace in your life.

kat1973

Thanks for acknowledging and replying to my post. I am grateful

Mizzuno

Kat. We are here for you. Please stick around and keep posting.