Woodswalker

Only been sober 2 weeks and so far its been easy but today right now I want a drink so freaking bad I am bawling. Got through brunch with the inlaws. Before we left my 12 year old asked me which of us was driving me or my husband. She's so used to making sure one of us is okay to drive. I whispered in her ear that I hadnt had a drink since St. Patricks day. The look of joy and pride on her face I will never ever forget. I have to stay sober for my kids. In my family you either stop drinking or you die with the bottle in your hand.
But now we are home. I am cleaning and cooking for our little dinner. And I want want want a drink so bad. If I make it through today without drinking it will be the first easter in 30 years except for the two I was pregnant that I havent drank.
I am seriously thinking of going to AA right now. Does anyone know if they do meetings on holidays?

deeker

Absolutely meetings everyday of the year. Google AA in your area. I am here if you need a little support or inspiration. You reminded of a time when my son used to look at me funny when I would say I was going to the store and I was gone for 7 hours at the bar. He was around 12 when my alcoholism and drug addiction spiraled out of control. He has walked over my past out body more than once. You can do this Woods. Get to a meeting. If you can't find one then google AA speakers on you tube for added inspiration. Just keep putting that drink off. Remember the consequences of the past.

Nattythreads

Sorry to hear that, Woods. AA doesn't do holidays! There'll be plenty of meets on because there'll be plenty of people going through what you are. For alkies, it's just another sober day!

least

You can call the AA hotline (should be in your phone book) and find out. I'm quite sure there are meetings on holidays. In my small city there are meetings every day, even on Christmas.

Two weeks is great, but still quite early in recovery. Give yourself time for solid sobriety and the urges will go away gradually. The thing I did to strengthen my sobriety (at about three months) was to express gratitude every day. We have a whole gratitude forum for doing just that. It really helped me a lot, just being grateful for my blessings.

Itchy

Congrats on two weeks! That was huge for me. Counting weeks instead of minutes and hours! That was a miracle that started for me two and a half years ago, and continues. There were people here that had months and years of sobriety and I looked at them as different. I was lucky when i made it through my morning coffee without having to spike it with scotch to stop the shakes. Now that person I was is as different to me as those folks who managed to stay sober looked to me when I started living for me and my life, instead of living just to drink and be sick.

My home AA group met every Sunday and Tuesday and I never missed a day for three months. Just look up AA for your town and go! They will be as glad to see ya as we are here that you joined our worldwide move to sobriety for us who became addicted to alcohol or other substances.

Mizzuno

Good for you. reaching out is so important.
I am sorry that you are having a hard time. This too shall pass. Your children and you are better off without alcohol today. Enjoy your dinner. Happy Easter to you and your!

2granddaughters

We never close meetings around here for any reason. Usually holidays are most important for meetings for newcomers.

All the best.

Bob R

Heartfan82

Woodswalker,
Two weeks is awesome! I know cooking is a big trigger for me, especially a special or holiday dinner. I love to cook, and I always used it as my fun time, enjoy "a drink". While being sober, I sometimes use sparkling apple cider in a wine glass to go through the same motions of having a drink. Surprisingly, meals get done smoother and more organized than when I'm drinking; huh, go figure.

That's sweet to see your daughter's face light up when you told her. Sometimes kids can be a source of strength without us even knowing it.

Hope your dinner turns out good, just hang on another day! First sober Easter, good for you!
Peace,
~Heartfan

Hevyn

Woodswalker - please know that this is normal for only two weeks in. When holidays come around it's doubly hard to not fall back into the old behavior. You & I drank for the same length of time, and I understand! Try to remember it was no longer fun in the end - it only brought misery to your life. It's so easy for us to think fondly of the way it once was - but we can't recreate the old days - we've crossed the line & can't go back.

Congratulations on your first sober Easter in 30 yrs. That is amazing. You can do this, Woods.

Dee74

how are you feeling now woodswalker?

D

Woodswalker

Thank you all so much for your support. I made it through the rest of Easter sober and without having a breakdown. One holiday sober down, a zillion more to go. But if I made it through one, I can make it through the rest. Even if I end up crying in the bathroom for a little while

2granddaughters

Cry in the bathroom ... dry your eyes, then head for a meeting. Crying at meetings is quite acceptable as well.

All the best.

Bob R

JCMalta

I bet your little girl is so proud of you, she probably had her best Easter ever. I was sober for Easter too (but I am only 4 days sober)

fallingtogether

Congrats! Hey listen, making others proud by our actions is but a benefit!!!!! Doing it for ourselves needs to remain in the forefront of our recovery! I tried to stay sober for my husband, my family and my kids, but it didn't work. It only worked when I accepted that I needed to do it for me! Best wishes on your recovery! So many wonderful things await you!

Woodswalker

Thank you. I am doing it for me. My daughters pride just helps make it a little easier. But I was ready to do it for me. No one asked me to or begged me to. I havent had a dui yet or danced naked on tables. But I was done being the drunk mom , the drunk aunt and feeling like crap in the morning. I knew with my family history it was time to quit or keep drinking til I did totally screw up somewhere.

raamblingokie

congratulations woods. stay strong

deeker

At least that you don't remember! Just kidding! LOL (The dancin)