Cobra77000

Hello all. I'm new to SR and my 2nd DUI in MD has really scared me into reaching out for help. I got my first in college and now have my second 8 years later. I realize now that I have a problem that needs to be addressed. I'm incredibly fortunate to not only hurt myself, but anyone else in both cases. It also frightens me that this cycle could cause me to lose my job, the respect of my family, and lead to jail time. I've taken it upon myself to enroll in a program to get the help I need. In the meantime, I'm absolutely terrified of the legal ramifications that will come from my selfish behavior. I can't stop thinking about the mistake i made and continuously beat myself up about it daily.

Any words of encouragement would be helpful. Thank you all and God bless. I hope everyone is having a safe and enjoyable Easter.

least

Beating yourself up won't help anything. Learning from it will help. I'm glad you're reaching out. I was too afraid to reach out for help until I got really bad off. Wish I'd done it sooner.

I hope you'll come here often and use SR as another tool for your recovery.

I'm glad you found us and joined the family!

2granddaughters

Regular documented AA attendance around here goes well with the Judge.

Regular AA attendance also has the side effect of getting and keeping a person sober.

Go to AA BEFORE you are sent and document it. And stay in AA after your legal obligations are fulfilled.

All the best.

Bob R

Mizzuno

Happy Easter. I can understand why you would feel so awful. I am sorry that you are going through this, I really am. First of all, please put down the bat and stop beating yourself up. Nothing good ever comes of this ( all the members here told me so) and it only keeps you in a negative place. Second, this is a blessing in disguise, you are now able to really look at the picture, ask for help and be proactive about Alcoholism. I am shocked that I never received a DUI. I am shocked that i wasn't hauled off to jail on multiple occasions. I did however lose my job and I am now trying to put all the pieces back together. You can learn from this. Money comes and goes, your life doesn't....another human beings life doesn't. Admitting that we have a problem is the first step in recovering. I am sure that you will find that your family is supportive in this. There is no shame in asking for help and support. People will be more supportive than you think if you open up and start talking. Please stay close. We are here to help.

Coldfusion

Hi Cobra!

The thing that has worked best for my wife and me is AA meetings. She went to a month rehab, I went to a week detox, but the thing that has made it stick is the meetings (and the support of each other.

bradley26

Its great that you are prepared to deal with you're problem, good first step. I know its easy for me to say this but its done now you just have to ride the situation out and hopefully you wont have jail time, Think about it though it could be 1oox worst if u killed someone and that would of been curtains. Dont beat you're self up about it im sure all you're family will forgive and understand. Just put all youre effort into getting sorted and im sure everything will be cool. God bless and good luck

24hrsAday

first of all.. Welcome to SRC Cobra! we are glad to have you with us!
i have been more or less Happily sober in AA for a little over 6 years now. it is a Wonderful program and i would strongly encourage you to go! (Happy Easter too!)

Sasha4

Please, please do all you can now to get help.

Don't be coming back here in a month or six months with a third or even a fourth DUI.

We had a story in our newspaper, a guy in his 50's who had numerous DUI's who killed two elderly people out walking their grandchild. It showed a picture of him sat with his head in his hands on the street, and the two bodies were covered with white sheet each.

I expect for all concerned you never, ever get over something as bad as that.

Come here often, learn, read and post away.

We care and we understand.

shauninspain

Hopefully you have reached that point where something so personally atrocious has happened to you and which has rocked you to the core. That, perversely, is a very good place to be. Although you have the issues of DUI to immediately deal with, you will deal with them without a drink. It's only natural to feel very scared at the moment. It's human nature. But take it easy and don't let your mind race.

A few years ago I went to court (for the 4th time I think). I was petrified as to what the magistrates were going to do. I simply confessed my 'sins' as humbly as possible. Explained that I was in no doubt that I had a major problem with alcohol, and told them that I had returned to AA for support to give up alcohol for good. I convinced them that I meant business, and that sobriety was going to be the foremost concern in my life from that moment on.

SR is a fantastic place to reach out too. I have been unable to have access to a computer for a week, and I have really missed SR. Glad to be back here and glad to read your post.

Cobra77000

Thank you all for your replies and kind words. I'm only 29 years old but I realize my life could take a dramatic slide if I keep allowing this behavior to continue. I'm taking control of my life again and making sure that I never allow this to get any worse. The embarrassment and guilt are just miserable. I can't even imagine how I'd feel if I was the result of a horrific accident.

deeker

I had 3 DUI's but the first was in 1981 and they were pretty laxed then. My last one was 8 years ago. I went to jail. While in there I met a girl who was drunk and hit a grama with her grandbaby in the backseat. The baby died. That girl got 8 yrs for involuntary manslaughter. She would will be getting out in August.

She took a life, destroyed the lives of the babies Mother/father/grandparents,siblings and lost 8 years of her life as well as effected her own family members.

Made me really think. I was selfish to think my drinking was my business.

Did I drink again after that? Yes I did. That is how baffling this disease is. But I lost my license which was a far less sentence than I could be facing. Just face the consequenses and do what you need to do. You learned and are so blessed it wasn't worse. This is an opportunity to really take a good look at your life.

Hevyn

Glad to have you with us, Cobra. I hope you'll feel less anxious being here - many of us have been through the same thing. You can rise above this and make everything right again. I'm glad you're seeing what needs to be done and taking action.

FeenixxRising

Cobra, it's always best to get out in front of this sort of thing.

You should hire the best lawyer you can afford. You mentioned starting a program, but I'm not sure what program you're using. I would start AA meetings or SMART Recovery meetings. That may help you with your DUI. I'm sure there are plenty of AA meetings in your area. I checked the SMART Recovery website and there appears to be a lot of SMART Recovery meetings in Maryland; although, I'm not sure there is a SMART meeting close to you. Unlike AA, SMART is a secular recovery method that uses cognitive behavior techniques and has no spiritual element (although, one can be religious and spiritual and use SMART). You can also do both programs; they aren't mutually exclusive.

Just Google SMART Recovery for more information.

And welcome, I know you're in a crappy place right now, but you didn't hurt anyone else, so that's good--it could be much worse.

1newcreation

You're not alone brother! I thot my 1st would be wake up but got 2nd in May & still waitin for Trial on that this yr later. It was def wake up this time;been sober 9mths(which is longest) & I've never been happier. Its a lie from the pit of hell that we can never be sociable, get along w/ others or go thru some b.s sober. It would take longer than the space alloted here 4 me to tell you how 1 tragic thing has happened after another & it baffles me that I'm still sober. I got into AA, a sponsor & after every mtg always have an attendance sign sheet filled even tho I'm not court mandated to but will help me big time when I stand before the judge,group of men in my network that love & encourage me, chair meetings & just do whatever I can to stay sober.
Get a copy of the big bk & start reading it if you haven't yet.
Lastly, of all the days in the year, this is the most joyful one for me & hope same for you too for He is risen. He is Risen indeed!!!

Dee74

Hi and welcome Cobra

I never had a DUI myself cos I never drove...but I know lots of people here who've gone on, lived happy sober lives, and put it behind them.

I'm sure you can too

D

deeker

Nice New, I am a new creation as well. Very encouraging post! God Bless you brother.

Anna

Cobra, it sounds like this experience has made you see the situation with clear eyes and that you are going to make the changes you need to make in order to recover. That's great. I'm sorry you had to get a second DUI for that to happen, but this disease is relentless. I wished that I stopped drinking before I caused problems in my life, but I didn't. The main thing is you need to forgive yourself and work on your recovery. You will get through this.

Ptcapote

Hey Cobra, so glad you posted and I think you will find tons of good advice and support here. A second DUI is not the end of the world but it is costly, scary, and should probably serve as a decent wake-up call that your drinking days are numbered. Sounds like you get that. And, as others have said, beating yourself up serves no purpose unless you plan to continue the behavior without seeking help---which doesn't appear to be the case with you.

Don't know where you are in MD but I live in southern MD and there are tons of great meetings around here. Feenix gave you some ones for SMART but if you are in the DC/So.MD area, here's a good link to AA meetings: Meeting Search | WAIA.

If you're closer to Baltimore or Annapolis, here's another: Annapolis Area Intergroup, Inc.

Best wishes to you, sounds like you're on the right path!! Keep posting!