Leolife

I have been sober for a month, 3 times in the last 13 years. I am on my fourth time right now, this time I hope to do a year, perhaps forever if I can stick it. Along my travels in the alcohol realms I came to see surfing as a metaphor for alcoholism..

Once you pull that first shot back and slam down your first drink for the day, it's like you are on your surfboard riding a wave. It's exhilarating, you've punched your ticket, and you are on a ride.. The fun part is you know it's taking you somewhere, and all you can do is basically steer a little to the left, little to the right, just enough to feel in control, but in all, the wave is taking you. As alcoholics we have to ride that wave to the very end. Sometimes we come off gently, and can head back the next day and ride the next wave. Other times we get dunked hard, and come up gasping for air. Other times, the waves we choose to ride are large and overbearing, and we wake up unconscious on the shore. Some don't wake up at all.

Alcoholic drinking will always have the mystical allure of that great, inconsequential wave, and we will always have the need to ride the wave to the end. A "normal" drinker to me, is one who has not yet ridden a wave to completion. They paddle a little as the wave is forming, and then pull back and call it a day. Any hard line drinker can never hope to do this again having tasted the reckless thrill of riding that wave all the way. The fantasy of returning to "Moderate drinking" for the alcoholic is a misunderstanding of what the fun of alcohol actually is.

At 29 days this time round, the cravings have subsided, my skin is normal color again, I have my energy back, clear thinking, positive outlook. And it's at this moment that I look upon drinking and all I see is the wave. The fun of it. The good times and the sunsets. But I remember, now, that surfing for the progressed alcoholic, is about riding the biggest, baddest, 20ft Tahiti monster wave we can find. And once you've started that wave, it is truly up to chance and fate whether or not you will make it back the beach to see the brightness of another day.

Would love to hear the stories of moments of clarity from those that walk the path? I find them very inspiring, and they have gotten me through many a dark night.

Thanks for reading,

Leo

least

to SR! That's an interesting analogy. I'm just glad I no longer surf those killer waves.

Leolife

Thanks least, yes it's good to sit on the beach now and watch the waves it's good to be here.

Coldfusion

Thank you, Leo!

I grew up in Hawaii, but was always kind of afraid of the ocean so I've never surfed I am a runner, and what I do to stay sober is the same thing: one foot in front of the other, one step at a time...

You are a good writer, I hope to hear more from you. I believe in "the wave theory of everything," after taking calculus and physics in college. What I have written about this is somewhere down in the Secular forums--your opinions would be appreciated there!

Aloha!

∞CF

Delilah1

Love your analogy, and I agree with the above posters that you are an inspiring writer. Glad to be on this journey with you, perhaps we can both pull up chairs in the sand and enjoy the metaphorical view.

IWillWin

Leo - that is one of the best analogies I've read.

Spent my drinking life "chasing mavericks" and managed to ride a few thru to the shore, but I knew my next one could be my last. Such a dangerous, thrill-seeking game...and one that almost never ends well.

Great post.

Leolife

Thanks everybody, feels good to write it out. Enjoying the view sounds great I look forward to reading posts in the secular forum.