sum04

My father is somewhat of a functioning alcoholic, but I think he is getting to where he can function less and less. Now he can't remember anything. Even if it's something we've discussed early in the day before he's started his heavy drinking. He just can't remember. Is this the start of him going even more downhill? He starts drinking hard liquor at his lunch break and then goes back to work and then starts up again around 6:00 Pm until he goes to bed. And he drinks more than that on weekends. He quit last year for 6 months, but started back. I know he will probably never quit again. He hated the withdrawels and cravings. He thinks his "quality of life" is better as an alcholic.

I just wondered if anyone else had experienced this memory loss and what's next?!

Thanks.

Lorelai

sum04 -
I'm glad you asked that question. I've been wondering about it myself. Everyone says that alcoholism is progressive. Is there some common path that most alcoholics take?

My H started having trouble with memory about a year ago - he's been drinking heavily for about 15 years. He is real good at covering it up but sometimes it is obvious.
L

rivercitybelle

More memory loss. Forgetting conversations, forgetting actions, creating "memories" to fill the gaps. The created memories usually have a small grain of reality and in the beginning almost sound plausible - I believed many of them. My ex AH was very good at "stories" for the gaps and not remembering things we'd talked about or planned. He'd also got to where he'd write down notes to remember to do certain things and to function at work.
You & yours are in my prayers.
Support is here for you.

Lorelai

sum04 -
I did find this webpage www.losingtom.org/alcoholism/advanced.html
It made my stomach hurt.
L

sum04

Thanks for the link... it is shocking but I can see where it's very true.

myles1

Alcoholism is progressive and everyone who drinks is affected by it in different ways, either the liver goes, the brain deteriorates, damage to the heart whatever.

But regardless it's progressive and will only get worse.

Ngaire

smf30

Okay, I'm not posting any of the following to scare you at all. My husband is an alcoholic/addict and my father also was. My dad died in 1995 at the age of 54 as a result of his alcoholism. Unfortunately this is the grim reality of this disease (if they cannot stay sober):

He was treated, did the rehab thing and was sober for 9 years. Unfortunately, depression runs in our family. He got depressed and went straight for the bottle. He told us he only had a drink "every now and then" which of course was a lie. In May of 95 his eyes and skin started looking yellow. We begged him to go to the doctor - he did. He told us she said he had to quit drinking for "about a month" which seemed odd at the time. Looking back, she most likely told him he had a month to live.

His liver and kidneys slowly shut down, and it throws off the electrolytes of the brain and he really couldn't walk or speak. It took 3 people to carry him into the car so we could take him to the hospital. He had no health insurance - he was admitted on June 23rd and died at the stroke of midnight June 25th. 2 days he layed in that bed and NOT ONCE did his doctor (b8tch!) EVER come to speak with us. NOT ONCE! He was treated like garbage by the doctor and the hospital staff because "he did this to himself".

We were there with him when he died. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do ever. Watch him die. He was my hero, I was a typical daddy's girl - he was everything to me. And now he's gone - almost 9 years. and I'm finally just coming to terms with the fact that it wasn't my fault, and there was nothing I could have done.

I'll pray for your dad that he finds the strength within himself to get help. Unfortunately, this is something they have to do for themselves.

prodigal

Yes, their memory starts to go and it gets progressively worse as they consume more alcohol over a longer period of time. They can be having a conversation with you and be in total black-out mode. My AH asked me if I was going out last week to run errands - after I had been gone for over four hours running errands! Alcohol destroys brain cells, and once destroyed they don't regenerate. My AH forgets entire weekends, yet sometimes he has the uncanny ability to remember something even though he was drop-dead drunk.

A's also tend to say with absolutely certainty and indignity: "I did NOT say that!!!" when you tell them something off-the-wall they said while drinking.

It is a tragedy to watch someone you love destroy himself or herself, but if that's what they chose to do you can't do a thing to stop them.

Frankly, from my sober perspective I see addiction as a form of self-destruction wrought by someone who is sadly full of self-hatred ... kinda like a slow suicide.

Lorelai

It is bizarre when they don't remember things that happened (or are happening). I sometimes wonder how many long, tearful conversations I had with my A that he doesn't even remember. What a waste of time!