Kys

I've been on this forum for a few months, a bit on and off and not as much as I should, so now I check in here daily no matter what my situation (progress or no).

I write this now at my pivotal point where I've been many times - do I drink or don't I.

To drink means I've got a quick escape and I can put off having to pursue long term goals for another night. Really I can put off having to face the future, and move on from certain things.

To not drink means I can start realising long term goals, look forward to the future, and move on from certain things. When I think about this I'm overwhelmed with excitement and I'm reminded of my many other advantages to not drinking.

On 'moving on from certain things', there is one thing in particular. I'm still not sure if I don't move on because I drink, or, do I drink so I don't move on - moving on is the last thing I've wanted for so many years. Maybe it is truly out of my control though.

Anyway, I'm in a good position to get through tonight without alcohol and am prepared with medication and helpful distractions and alternative activities. I will check in here later on regardless.

Thanks for reading, I'm so thankful I have this place.

Kys

Struggling with this a bit.

Mizzuno

Hello. If drinking is making you question whether you should drink or not, maybe giving up drinking for awhile is a good idea! You have nothing to lose and certainly much to gain from abstaining.

Cc77

What are you trying to move on from if you don't mind my asking? It's ok if not

Kys

I don't mind you asking.

A romantic relationship. Forged many years ago, and ended not too far in many years ago. However there have been very strong remnants for both of us since and not so long ago we revisited the relationship, but it ended again soon after.

Kys

Still sober

Kys

I figure I have a few more hours until the liquor store closes. That's when I'll know if I've made it.

deeker

You can do it! Go to bed early. Take a warm bubble bath. Throw every piece of clothing you own in the wash machine so you can't go out. lol


Sorry I am weird and I like it.lol

Feeling silly tonight! Sobriety brings that on.

Kys

Didn't make it

Kys

People here must be over all my stop/starts. I almost always don't succeed so I understand it completely.

trikyriky

Right there with u. I lose track of how many day ones I have had. No one will tire of you, just do it again and again till we get it right. God bless

Kys

Thanks trikyriky. Hope you're right.

deeker

So maybe what you are doing isn't working. Are you willing to take suggestions from people who are staying sober and have found happy useful lives? The solution is available to you. Do you want to know what it is?

trikyriky

You got the solution, I'm all ears

least

A very wise woman here used to say "you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink" and she was right. I didn't get sober until it was the thing I wanted most in the world.

How badly do you want to quit drinking?

milly4me

You know I've been thinking a lot along the same lines lately . . . do I drink because I'm depressed . . . or . . . am I depressed because I drink??? Am I a depressed drunk because I have some serious unhealthy relationships, or do I have serious emotional relationships because I'm a drunk . . . or because I'm depressed . . . or because I'm a depressed drunk??

It's a bit of "which came first" thought process for me.

I've come to truly understand it's all related. . . it's a cycle. . . each part feeding into the other.

So I started thinking "well ONE of these things (bad diet, too much alcohol, depression, dealing with some serious personal problems) HAS to change in order for this cycle to stop.

And I'm starting to see that NOT DRINKING might just be the place to start.

I may still have some issues that I need to deal with. I may decide each day that I choose NOT to deal with them at all.

BUT I'M NOT GOING TO DRINK!

NewChicken

I came to this thread today and wanted to drink. I am on my first week clean, and am the," I feel good", making excuses, wanting to reward myself for doing 20 minutes of yard work. I'm going to make some sun tea, (its 85 in the shade here in beautiful..some southwest state.) and relax on the patio. My reward is sobriety. I am not going to drink today.

Ostrich123

I came here fighting the urge to have a glass of wine. I'm on yet another day 1 after a clean week... Now I decided not to. So thank you!!!

HealingMySoul

DONT DRINK!!! You can do this!! Yeah you will be numb tonight and put things off until tomorrow, then tomorrow you put things off to the next day, before you know it you've put off years of your life and it's HELL to get back on track but the BEST decision I have ever made and that you can make. Good luck!!

instant

This is a central issue. Until I could accept that there was no more "escape clause" or times when I could just "switch off" I could not move on.

There is always a "reason" to drink. Stress did not make me drink. The way I choose to deal with my problems was to drink.

Funnily enough now I am sober I am far more resilient!! and find stress easier to deal with ....go figure