3girls1husband

So I escaped drinking the last of the vodka in our house....but a glass of merlot jumped at me (no need to explain how at this point). I am somewhat unsure what to make of it. I was able to have one glass, a little warm feeling, but not a desire to consume more. I am happy with one glass, got my girls to bed, waited up for my eldest to come home, which she did with two friends in tow at 12:30...now its almost two am and I am up mostly because I am anxious over drinking a glass a wine! AGHHHHH

Coldfusion

There is no way I could "stay quit" with booze in the house.

Is there still more vodka and wine?

LadyinBC

Me too! I can't have it around. I even cringe when we have mouthwash in the house with alcohol in it!

3girls1husband

Maybe that is part of my problem...I have no problem with booze in the house. The wine tonight was my doing, I bought it earlier. I did house stuff, easter baskets, laundry, etc...and all on one glass of wine, and I didn't feel like I had to be sneaky (husband doesnt have any idea I am trying to quit)....this is the part that gets me every time...I can live on one glass, until something tips me over, and that can be an ANT....ugh

Lenina

3girls,

you might want to give it some closer thought. you knew there was booze in the house. But you also knew you had access to other ways to get liquor/wine. you haven't told yr husband because you aren't yet sure you want to quit. I know I left myself "loop holes" so I could drink. It's a pretty common thing.

I've heard said its the first glass that gets us drunk. Always true in my case. maybe not right then, but the door was kicked open, just in case I "needed" it.

I found Rational Recovery and AVRT to be very helpful for me. You might give it a look and see if it makes sense to you.

love from Lenina

3girls1husband

Lenina, I am not sure wat rational recovery or AVRT is,.....will look it up....
right now, I feel pretty low.

avocado

What exactly is your reason for posting this? Do you want us to tell you not to feel anxious because you drank some wine? Do you want us to give you some validation that it's okay to drink? I'm just not sure why you're posting this.

3girls1husband

Avocado- I don't really know exactly why I was posting this, I guess its because it goes against the grain of wanting to stop....but also I am vain enough to think I can be a moderate...I really don't know. Hence. the post.

Lenina

3girls,

here's a link to the secular section of SR. This discussion is very good. Check it out.

I needed a plan to have peaceful and meaningful recovery. To quit drinking. AA is a good program and I think anyone can benefit from using the 12 Steps as a template for living. RR and AVRT worked better for staying sober for me.

((((3girls))) Youre in the right place! SR is very supportive. Most of us know exactly what you are going through. I'm here to tell you we can and do recover. Stick around.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-5-a.html

Love from Lenina

LadyinBC

Yes, do stick around. There is lots of reading here and so many stories that you can probably relate to. There is hope for everyone. Most of us have tried to moderate, I know I did. Didn't work for me, but I had to discover that for myself.

avocado

Thanks for clarifying. I suspect a part of you thinks or knows that the idea that you can drink moderately is not correct, or you wouldn't be posting. I went through years of thinking I could stop for a bit and then be able to drink in moderation again. I finally decided in december to give myself 90 days. During those 90 days I decided a year was a better idea, so that's what I'm going for now. I won't say I'll never drink again, bevause I am still allowing the possibility that I can get to a point where I can drink moderately, but I know that a few weeks or months is not enough time to make that decision. I wish you the best in figuring out what's right for you.

3girls1husband

I am not sure at this juncture...thank you for your support!

ReadyAtLast

I also couldn't have alcochol in the house -it's just too easy to give in when it's there. Throw it out to remove temptation and maybe tell your husband you are quitting for his support. Good luck-you can do this and I suspect you want to otherwise you wouldn't be posting

least

I tried too many times to moderate - always failed miserably. It was easier for me to just stop drinking altogether.

Threshold

My situation was that yeah, I could moderate..until I couldn't. As you say one glass is enough until....and then all bets are off. And that came damn near close to killing me. It's easier to just not drink at all anymore, take that wild card off the table. Otherwise I am basically playing roulette with my life.

DryRoastJim

I'll be blunt, you can't! If you have accepted that you are an alcoholic then you know you cannot drink EVER! I know, I know, it all seems so final and such, but really it is.

If you try to justify 1 glass of wine, that 1 will turn to 2 and 3 etc etc.

However, perhaps this isn't your time. Maybe you don't really want to quit. Which is fine, we are not here to judge. Either way, we will always do our best to help you through your journey!!

Take care and be sober

Dee74

Hi 3girls1husband

I think most of us have thought - I know I thought ok I won't drink liquor I'll drink wine, or beer...but the end result, I'm sorry to say, was always the same for me.

I didn't have a liquor problem,. or a wine, problem, or a beer problem - mine is an alcohol problem - until I accpeted that I was running around in circles, getting nowhere.

Moderation never worked for me because alcohol changes me - like Threshold said, after that first glass all bets are off...all my good intentions disappear.

D

soberlicious

Hi 3girls,
I think taking a break from drinking is always a good idea. Lots and lots of people do this.
I understand perfectly what avocado is saying here:
For me, I gave it 10 years in between and the results were the same (worse really). So in my case, the amount of time away from alcohol is not proportionate to my ability to moderately drink. The pathways in my brain are burned and my brain will always clearly remember what to do when alcohol is re-introduced.
The coolest thing about complete abstinence is that there's no wrestling with the question anymore.

fallingtogether

Hey 3. I did the same thing after nearly 4 mo of sobriety. I just felt like having some wine. I continued to do so for about a month. Then bam, one night/day, I discovered a new scary bottom. I felt lower than low, didn't want to see people, the guilt shame and remorse were awful! -- I'm an alcoholic. I can tell you from my experience, it was much harder mentally to control it, rather than not drink at all! I'm now in day 33 and te guilt shame and remorse, and manipulating (myself and others into believing I could drink controllably) have been replaced with serenity, freedom and restful sleep. Even though I am sober today, I can't drink and predict the number of drinks before I lose everything. Some people can, you may be one of those people who can drink safely, but I am not. Don't be hard on yourself, but if I can offer up any advice, it would be not to keep this a secret from your husband. Tell him where you are mentally with drinking.it was too much for me to do it alone. Best wishes

Fallow

I feel your pain in this post.

I am with avocado. At first I said give me a month off, then by 3 months things were more clear, I said I need a year to decide now.

I cannot feel sober after drinking any alcohol, if I have even 1 drink I am impaired.