Journey40

Hi, I just joined SR yesterday. I am so glad I did because I got quite a few encouraging responses. I tried to quit drinking before, and believe I hit rock bottom about a year ago, and did quit for 3 months but my drinking started again. I think I was drinking so much because I was lonely. I felt like I had no one to turn to with my marital problems, drinking problems, etc...all my demons just wouldn't leave me alone, and wine became my bestfriend, my comforter. I'm hoping to find comfort here...I know when it comes down to it, it's just me and God, but it sure would be nice to find people who are in the same boat as me, and are able to cope without drinking. I'm so tired of waking up feeling yucky-dehydrated, headache, cranky...I want the toxicity out of my body and mind, once and for all.

gameofthrones10

SR is awesome and I think you will find a ton of support here. There are lots of great people and when you need someone to turn to the best part is there is usually someone here that can help. Good luck with your journey.

soberclover

Glad you found this site....wine turned out to be a terrible friend for me!

Gratefulnow

I am on day 3 so I hear you loud and clear! Stay strong and keep checking this forum for support. I am a 47 year old widow, husband died 5 years ago, and I have found that I use the bottle as a substitue for the loss. I don't want to do that any more either! Hoping we both pull through (I think we will). Sending good vibes your way...

Journey40

Thank you everyone!

Journey40

What do you guys do to keep your minds off the stuff? I don't know if you can relate but I'm a stay-at-home mom with 3 great kids. They are 16, 14, and 3. My husband is in the Army National Guard and travels quite a bit and has drill once a month. I have family here, but all my friends either work or are far away from me. I'm pretty lonely most of the time. I miss working sometimes, and didn't have a choice but to stay sober during working hours, but since I started staying home I had so much time to drink (drank without my hubby knowing). Today is my second day of not drinking, and it was nice to wake up at 5:00 without a hangover!!

Journey40

@Gratefulnow-I'm sorry for your loss. That is so young to lose your spouse. Were you guys close? Did you drink before he passed away? I seem to have "triggers" to my drinking. Or excuses to drink. Are you the same way? It's ironic because I would pour myself a glass when I was tired! :-/

clight

Day 1 again for me also. Went 26 days sober and yesterday I fell off. So instead of kicking myself for the 1 mistake I am back on SR. Of course I am upset today but I learned another lesson what I am ready for and not.

Journey40

@clight-hang in there! Let's do this together. I'm glad you're here. It's hard to do it alone. For me it's nearly impossible to be strong by myself.

RaggedyMan

"The stuff" - alcohol?

I'm on day 4 and I prefer to keep it front and centre in my thinking for the time being; focusing the positive reasons for stopping permanently, my kids, my wife, my life. I keep SR open all the time I'm in front of the PC too...

This is a good place, lots of support, advice and knowledgeable people, good luck with your efforts.

Journey40

Stuff=alcohol
Have you gotten rid of your stuff? I'm thinking about getting rid of my wine glasses, because that's kind of like leaving the back door open, like I have some kind of choice to drink if things get really bad in my life (my dad's dying from lung cancer), or if I get too lonely. I don't want that choice anymore. I don't want alcohol to be something I can turn to when life isn't going the way I want it to.

RaggedyMan

There's never much in the house, because I would just drink it all. A few bits and pieces left in the cupboard.

I told my wife yesterday that I have stopped (following AVRT rather than 12-steps) - haven't got on to keeping a dry house yet - that's not solely me decision.

Sorry to hear about your dad, my mom died of breast cancer last year (after 32 years of treatment) so I really know what you are going through; I used that as an excuse to drink even more heavily than usual while I was getting through it all. Not wishing to state the obviously (and please don't take this the wrong way), but when I wasn't drinking, she was still dead - and I was dealing with that AND the after effects of the drink which just made the hard times harder to deal with.

Do whatever makes you the most secure, if it's worrying you get rid of it... and keep reading here!

Journey40

Did you go to a seminar for AVRT, or did you do it online? I looked at it briefly online but it didn't help me because I just couldn't see alcohol as the beast. I just didn't see it being so powerful and damaging. Now I do. I look at my dad and see what cigarettes did to him, and I don't want to die from drinking. I know it will kill me in the end. I can't imagine putting my own kids through it-seeing me die a slow and painful death. It might happen regardless, and I can't control that, but I can take control of what I put in my body.
So does your wife drink around you? The first time I quit, I quit for my husband because my drinking was causing a lot of problems between us. He was supportive at first, not drinking at home, but that lasted about a month. Ironically, he asked me if I was ever going to drink again, and maybe I can have just one glass. I know I can be a prude and a little uptight without my alcohol, and he probably didn't feel comfortable drinking by himself on the couch. This time I'm quitting for ME. I don't care if he doesn't want to drink alone. Who knows, maybe if I quit drinking, he will too. As far as I know, he only has 1-2 beers daily. I don't know how much he drinks when he's away on his business trips.

Gratefulnow

@ Hopefulme- thanks so much for your kind words, and yes, he was my ultimate soulmate! No kids, just us. Oddly I did drink when he was alive (not to excess at that time), and he did not. Maybe one scotch a year at Xmas or something is what he would have. I know in my heart although I am an alcoholic and use the drink to self medicate/numb out, I have been coming to the conclusion that my beloved would NOT have wanted me to continue along this path. That thought is helping me now more, for some reason. Stay strong!

RaggedyMan

Just from what I am reading here at the moment - there's lots of info in the Secular Connections forum - really tied in with the way feel. I'll try to find the main threads for you when I get home from work.

Haven't had time to see what my wife will do yet - she's a very light drinker anyway, a glass or two a week; I suspect if I don't buy, she won't go and get her own. She's very supportive though and if I ask to have no alcohol in the house she will go with it.

Her father died of smoking/drinking related cancer so it's doubly tough for her to see me going through this I think.

I read and believe honesty is the most important thing, I told her my decision last night and to virtual choke the words out - presumably fear of failing. I believe I have a better chance of success being open about it.

I'm still in the early days, so I hope my comments don't come over as jumbled and incoherent.

3girls1husband

Hopeful, I can relate pretty closely (our girls are 3,4,16) my husband however works from home but is busy much of the week (closes his den door). I work but I do 12 shifts 3 nights a week, that leaves me with 4 days off a week....therein is my opportunity to drink.
I am on day 4 and feeling great waking up sober and clear headed (for the exception of some allergies right now).
You can do it, I stayed close to the SR site when I felt I needed to or just for comfort this week and it has completely made all the difference for me.

Keep coming back!!! You can do it!

Nicholi

I have 3 also, a bit older, but mine were around those ages when I started drinking. I get the boredom of being home all day. Heck, I even home schooled through it all! I only have one that is still old enough to be home now. My two daughters are married.

I found watching tv series really helped me. I recently watched all 7 seasons of Dexter. It was a good distraction.

Dave42001

You can do this!! One day at a time!! Progress not perfection!!

ohiobaby

I'm on day two of coming off pain killers. I am also a stay at home mom with 2 young kids, 8 and 5. My husband is still using but he will keep it away from me beside I have to learn to deal with others anyway so it's a good test of wills. I have been coming to this point for over a month. I told the hubby for every bit he spends to buy his drugs I get in cash. I have a feeling that will be a huge eye openner and I will end up with a nice bit of cash in my pocket. I was using to numb the pain in my life, my drug usage started during the 2 year battle of cancer with my mother and when she passed in Aug it just kept building. She was one of my best friends and I talked to her many times during the day so when she was ripped from my life I found myself alone and it's been hard to deal with. I know she wouldn't want this for me, I don't want this for me. We can do this.

least

I finally gave up drinking when I was sick and tired of always being sick and tired. I'm staying sober with the help of my counselor (now down to once a month) and this site. It's worked for over three years and I don't even think about drinking anymore.