Garden Girl

I have been reading posts on this site since I joined and it really has been a godsend. I read a particular post about abandonment issues and it really hit home. There have been a lot of messed up things in my life that I just don't talk about, things that happened in childhood that could not have been my fault, yet I have lived with shame. I don't even think about some things, I get angry... I know I drank to escape these things. I don't even know when my life fell apart. I get frustrated and angry that I can't remember half of my childhood. I get angry both of my parents are drunks too, and not people that can be my support... Hell they gave up on parenting when I was about to start puberty. Some days I get depressed and angry. I know I don't want to drink and tomorrow is another day.

fantail

I'm sorry that you had bad things happen in your past. But I think you're right to draw the line and stop the past from consuming your future, as well. Do you have a plan for quitting drinking?

Jeni26

I too have abandonment and rejection issues, and have recently been diagnosed with PTSD due to childhood experiences. Getting sober was the best thing I ever did because trying to drink away the memories just left me depressed and anxious.

Now at 10 months sober, I am facing the past with the help of a therapist. I couldn't have done that drunk.

Hang in there. The past doesn't dictate our future. We deserve to move on. You can do this.

Thinking of you x

LadyinBC

Are you talking a therapist about any of this? I have told my counsellor several things that happened when I was younger, things I never told anyone. It is very theraputic to let them out and to just tell someone.

I have only recently done this as I couldn't have coped with telling him at the beginning. I have a good 8 months sober now and feel that I can start dealing with these things slowly.

Garden Girl

I tried therapy when I was drinking and it was not effective because my mind was so clouded from hangovers and residual alcohol. It is something I will consider again definitely. As far as not drinking, I use SR and my boyfriend is a really great support. I

least

I see a counselor and it's a big help to me to have someone I can talk to about anything. Maybe give counseling another shot.