BuddyW62

My last visit here I had stayed sober for 30 days exactly I believe. Then it all went to crap. I "thought" I could by a 6 pack and drink a few....NOT. Next day I had a 24 pack in the fridge. And it went downhill from there - until last Thursday when my wife of 2 1/2 years gave me an awakening, or rather an ultimatum. So I went back to detox Friday and got home yesterday. Felt pretty good up until late this afternoon and the cravings got so bad... but I didn't drink. I came back here.

This is the worst demon I've ever had to fight in my life. I kicked benzodiazapam 12 1/2 years ago after a long addiction (yes I know it would only take taking 1 of those and I'd be back there too), but I think this addiction beats anything.

I've scheduled an initial visit with an addiction therapist at the advice of a case manager, but I won't see them until next Wednesday. But I am looking forward to that...maybe someone can get inside my alcoholic head. I know there's no miracle drug to make it go away. So I'll keep fighting.

Anyway, hello again guys. I'm still breathing!

BW

Nonsensical

Welcome back. Glad you're still breathing. Hope you feel better soon!

Pondlady

Hi Buddy,
Glad you didn't give in to your cravings this afternoon. Keep posting and I'm sure others will be along soon. Hang in there

Palmtrees30s

Great job Buddy.

Huglets

Welcome back Buddy!! So happy you're still with us!

Check in often with us. Early sobriety is so difficult, just take it one moment at a time.

BuddyW62

Thanks all. Very much appreciated....am definitely trying!

least

Welcome back! Glad you're giving it another go.

Hevyn

Glad to see you back, Buddy. You sound ready to do it this time! Good that you're seeing a therapist. A whole new life can be yours.

Yup

I'm not a big book thumper and I whole heartedly believe you can do it without AA but if you haven't tried meetings maybe you should. I thought it would be a room full of miserable people. It's just the opposite. Smiling faces everywhere.

Zebra1275

Glad you made it back, some don't.

BuddyW62

Thanks all!

@ Yup: I've tried AA in the past with negative affects. But I may give it another try...worth a shot anyway right? And I am getting back into church... I was back in until I relapsed. It does seem to help...well me anyway.

instant

Good to see you back and on track Buddy

Delilah1

Welcome back Buddy!

FlyerNation

You have to do something or you're going to fail again. You have to grow and accept recovery and move forward or you'll be back where it is. If it's religion then that's great but I suggest having a plan for long term recovery. Detoxing is great (it helped me tremendously) and is essential but the detox I went to set us a plan for recovery. If not you're just treading water.

Richierich777

My wife basically said if I drank one more time she was leaving. Don't drink no more because I don't want her to leave. It's that simple.

BuddyW62

Thanks Flyer. I'll definitely heed your advice.

BuddyW62

Mine wasn't quite that drastic but she meant what she said and I know that. And I don't want to test those waters either. I love my wife and family very much! We have 2 children and 6 grandchildren between us with #7 coming any day now. So with that said I have to keep sober this time. I'll do whatever is needed.