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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: today
Posts: 36
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recently my ah has failed to pay his phone bill due to his relaspe. Usually I would pay it for him, but not this time. Is it wrong that Im glad his phone is off so I dont have to listen to his complaining about how everything is messed up. 
.
Now dont get me wrong I love my husband but he makes me crazy when he is not sober
I honestly feel that I need some timr from his current conversation because I have so much going on in my life and our kids that I dont have the paitence or time to cater to his crying. I believe he has the tools to know what he needs to do being that he has been in rehab 2x's and detox several times. He even use to chair NA meetings.
Is it wrong that I don't want to hear it anymore? I would rather just talk about our kids or how his or my day went without all the drama. Is this normal feelings? Does this mean I'm losing feeling for my husband? I'm so confused.
.Now dont get me wrong I love my husband but he makes me crazy when he is not sober
I honestly feel that I need some timr from his current conversation because I have so much going on in my life and our kids that I dont have the paitence or time to cater to his crying. I believe he has the tools to know what he needs to do being that he has been in rehab 2x's and detox several times. He even use to chair NA meetings.Is it wrong that I don't want to hear it anymore? I would rather just talk about our kids or how his or my day went without all the drama. Is this normal feelings? Does this mean I'm losing feeling for my husband? I'm so confused.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
As an alcoholic we always like it when people clean up after us. Pay our bills, give us money, listen to us moan and groan that the world is out to get us, please pity me, listen to me cry and blame everyone else. We love the pity pot and love it even more when you buy into it.
Nope, you're not wrong and it just means you are fed up with the crap. One way for us to wake up is when someone stops doing these things for us and tells us to grow the hell up. Some of us just need a good kick in the ass!
Nope, you're not wrong and it just means you are fed up with the crap. One way for us to wake up is when someone stops doing these things for us and tells us to grow the hell up. Some of us just need a good kick in the ass!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Dear tnwife, the next challenge becomes---what does one do with those feelings?
You did not cause it and you can't control it.
Love, alone, will not fix it. If that were true, almost none of us would be here on this forum figuring out how to heal the damage and live a serene and peaceful life.
sincerely, dandylion
You did not cause it and you can't control it.
Love, alone, will not fix it. If that were true, almost none of us would be here on this forum figuring out how to heal the damage and live a serene and peaceful life.
sincerely, dandylion
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Your feelings are normal. You now have 3 people telling you.
You aren't losing the feelings for your husband (I don't think). You are tired of cleaning up his mess, It doesn't mean you don't love him - it means that you are moving toward loving yourself and your children more than trying to cope/control/manage his addiction. This is a good thing. Enabling an addiction simply gives it oxygen.
Your husband may have the 'tools" but he ain't using them. Have you tried Al Anon? It will help give you the tools needed in order to deal with this situation.
You aren't losing the feelings for your husband (I don't think). You are tired of cleaning up his mess, It doesn't mean you don't love him - it means that you are moving toward loving yourself and your children more than trying to cope/control/manage his addiction. This is a good thing. Enabling an addiction simply gives it oxygen.
Your husband may have the 'tools" but he ain't using them. Have you tried Al Anon? It will help give you the tools needed in order to deal with this situation.
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