Question about AA
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Liverpool, England
Posts: 681
Question about AA
I'm going to my first AA meeting this Saturday (due to snow I couldn't attend last Saturday as it was cancelled 
boo!) BUT where I live is quite remote and transport is pretty dire after a certain time, so there is only the chance for me to attend one meeting a week in my home town, as getting to and from the city would be impossible. I've seen the thread, were people are doing 90 meetings in 90 days, but I also see people on other threads who attend at least 3 meetings a week. What I'm asking is, is the fact I can only attend one meeting going to hinder my progress? And do all meetings accommodate for newcomers wanting to work the steps or are all completely different? As I'm not entirely sure what this meeting would be about?
boo!) BUT where I live is quite remote and transport is pretty dire after a certain time, so there is only the chance for me to attend one meeting a week in my home town, as getting to and from the city would be impossible. I've seen the thread, were people are doing 90 meetings in 90 days, but I also see people on other threads who attend at least 3 meetings a week. What I'm asking is, is the fact I can only attend one meeting going to hinder my progress? And do all meetings accommodate for newcomers wanting to work the steps or are all completely different? As I'm not entirely sure what this meeting would be about?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 571
mine keep getting cancelled too but when I rang up the helpline I was told it's fine to attend any meeting as a newbie, they will usually just ask if there are any new people present at the start of each meeting. There's only 1 a week where I am too, which is why im finding the SMART meetings usefull
Aka.. Indamiricale. :)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dr.Bob's Neighbor
Posts: 2,728
Originally Posted by Panache 
I'm going to my first AA meeting this Saturday (due to snow I couldn't attend last Saturday as it was cancelled boo!) BUT where I live is quite remote and transport is pretty dire after a certain time, so there is only the chance for me to attend one meeting a week in my home town, as getting to and from the city would be impossible. I've seen the thread, were people are doing 90 meetings in 90 days, but I also see people on other threads who attend at least 3 meetings a week. What I'm asking is, is the fact I can only attend one meeting going to hinder my progress? And do all meetings accommodate for newcomers wanting to work the steps or are all completely different? As I'm not entirely sure what this meeting would be about?
boo!) BUT where I live is quite remote and transport is pretty dire after a certain time, so there is only the chance for me to attend one meeting a week in my home town, as getting to and from the city would be impossible. I've seen the thread, were people are doing 90 meetings in 90 days, but I also see people on other threads who attend at least 3 meetings a week. What I'm asking is, is the fact I can only attend one meeting going to hinder my progress? And do all meetings accommodate for newcomers wanting to work the steps or are all completely different? As I'm not entirely sure what this meeting would be about?I would just say, don't worry about all that stuff right now..
Just go and say Hi , and introduce yourself.. All those things will fall into place and make a lot more sense after you meet some of us..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Panache
I'm going to my first AA meeting this Saturday (due to snow I couldn't attend last Saturday as it was cancelled boo!) BUT where I live is quite remote and transport is pretty dire after a certain time, so there is only the chance for me to attend one meeting a week in my home town, as getting to and from the city would be impossible. I've seen the thread, were people are doing 90 meetings in 90 days, but I also see people on other threads who attend at least 3 meetings a week. What I'm asking is, is the fact I can only attend one meeting going to hinder my progress? And do all meetings accommodate for newcomers wanting to work the steps or are all completely different? As I'm not entirely sure what this meeting would be about?
boo!) BUT where I live is quite remote and transport is pretty dire after a certain time, so there is only the chance for me to attend one meeting a week in my home town, as getting to and from the city would be impossible. I've seen the thread, were people are doing 90 meetings in 90 days, but I also see people on other threads who attend at least 3 meetings a week. What I'm asking is, is the fact I can only attend one meeting going to hinder my progress? And do all meetings accommodate for newcomers wanting to work the steps or are all completely different? As I'm not entirely sure what this meeting would be about?You will know soon enough what it takes to survive in AA, to maintain in AA and to thrive in AA. I opt to "thrive" today.
The newcomer sees AA as the PENALTY that you pay for being an alcoholic. Soon you will see AA as a blessed OPPORTUNITY for a new and better life. You will want it.
Buddy up with some of your town friends who go to the city and ride with them. You will meet great folks and those folks will save your life.
All the best.
Bob R (I live in Canada and snow never closes our pubs or our AA meetings)
Show me a drunk who needs a drink and you can't stop him/her from getting it. Same with an AA wanting a meeting.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
90 in 90 really helped me and I am fortunate enough to live somewhere that has a lot of meetings close by. However, back when AA first started I think there was only one meeting a week and people stayed sober. I believe it boils down to whether or not you really want to stay sober. When I can't get to a meeting I call another alcoholic, my sponser, come on SR, and/or read the big book. I am sure you will get some helpful feedback from people you meet on Saturday.
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Hi Panache,90 meetings in 90 days has come from rehabs it is not mentioned anywhere in AA literature.
Not everyone is fortunte enough to be able to get to any meeting,let alone 90 in 90 days.If you are serious about staying sober you will do fine on one meeting a week,there are no rules in AA.
I suggest you call the local helpline,in the area I do Telephone Service in, here in the UK we can arrange for someone to pick you up and take you to the first meeting or for someone to meet you outside.Different areas operate in different ways.
Feel free to PM me if I can be of any help.I have a list of all the local helpline numbers.
Not everyone is fortunte enough to be able to get to any meeting,let alone 90 in 90 days.If you are serious about staying sober you will do fine on one meeting a week,there are no rules in AA.
I suggest you call the local helpline,in the area I do Telephone Service in, here in the UK we can arrange for someone to pick you up and take you to the first meeting or for someone to meet you outside.Different areas operate in different ways.
Feel free to PM me if I can be of any help.I have a list of all the local helpline numbers.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Liverpool, England
Posts: 681
Thanks very much everyone for your advice, I'm certainly going to make sure I attend my Saturday meeting regularly and hopefully if I meet some friends there we can arrange to attend some others together and share a cab. Like you say just a case of attending the first one first, then see where you're at. A mixture of excitement and nerves! I've started to read the Big Book too, just to get a feel of things.
Heath I didn't even know AA did that, that'd be a massive help for me, will PM you now. That's calmed my nerves a lot more, thank you
Heath I didn't even know AA did that, that'd be a massive help for me, will PM you now. That's calmed my nerves a lot more, thank you
Every Mother's Worst Nightmare
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Deep in the heart of LaLa land
Posts: 688
I have many friends in AA and it's been a literal life saver for them.
But keep in mind that there's more than one way to skin a cat as they say.
If it's not for you, it doesn't mean you're destined to fail, in any way shape or form.
But keep in mind that there's more than one way to skin a cat as they say.
If it's not for you, it doesn't mean you're destined to fail, in any way shape or form.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Liverpool, England
Posts: 681
Originally Posted by HappyDestiny3
Panache ~
As long as you want it, your about to be apart of something so powerful and kind..
AA saved me from myself..And has been the best thing I ever could of imaged..
As long as you want it, your about to be apart of something so powerful and kind..
AA saved me from myself..And has been the best thing I ever could of imaged..
I felt like that, i'm coming up to a week sober on Friday and I feel like it would be good to get out and meet some people in my community who I can socialise with/talk to who also don't drink and also just a bit more support, every little helps doesn't it? I'm super excited, I'll report back how it was Saturday night!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Nattythreads
If it's not for you, it doesn't mean you're destined to fail, in any way shape or form.
AA is for those who want it. Many need it , some want it.
I thought what you thought when I was 25 yrs old... at 45 I knew I was wrong.
All the best.
Bob R
Aka.. Indamiricale. :)
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Dr.Bob's Neighbor
Posts: 2,728
Originally Posted by Panache
Heath's very kindly took my details and is getting me some numbers to ring so I can meet someone who will take me to my meeting Saturday
I felt like that, i'm coming up to a week sober on Friday and I feel like it would be good to get out and meet some people in my community who I can socialise with/talk to who also don't drink and also just a bit more support, every little helps doesn't it? I'm super excited, I'll report back how it was Saturday night!
I felt like that, i'm coming up to a week sober on Friday and I feel like it would be good to get out and meet some people in my community who I can socialise with/talk to who also don't drink and also just a bit more support, every little helps doesn't it? I'm super excited, I'll report back how it was Saturday night!
Just like my picture of Dr. Bob's house in my avatar..
Cant wait to hear how it went for you ..And thank you heath, way to be there for the newcomer..
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
"...90 meetings in 90 days has come from rehabs it is not mentioned anywhere in AA literature..."
I used to think this was true too, but in doing some research recently, I found an article that seems to say that, as early as the 1950's, AA was suggesting something similr to 90 in 90 (although the exact phrase was not used.
If you gp to AA.org and search '90 in 90' the following will come up......:
See BOX 459; Vol. 53, No. 2; April-May 2007
In part, it states........................:
In the 1950s, though, mention of 90 days or three months as a milestone in sobriety was appearing in the Grapevine. An article in the January
1959 issue, which was one of a series on conducting talks at
beginners meetings, is headed “90-Day Trial.”
In the article, it was pointed out that one approach to newcomers might be: “I’d like to suggest that for a period of three months you decide to stay away from a drink twenty-four hours at a time, and also decide to attend
many meetings—every night if possible. Surely you can spare ninety days from your life. They might prove to be the most useful ninety days in your entire lifetime. You may learn whether or not you are an alcoholic, and that’s
a good thing to know.”
(o:
NoelleR
I used to think this was true too, but in doing some research recently, I found an article that seems to say that, as early as the 1950's, AA was suggesting something similr to 90 in 90 (although the exact phrase was not used.
If you gp to AA.org and search '90 in 90' the following will come up......:
See BOX 459; Vol. 53, No. 2; April-May 2007
In part, it states........................:
In the 1950s, though, mention of 90 days or three months as a milestone in sobriety was appearing in the Grapevine. An article in the January
1959 issue, which was one of a series on conducting talks at
beginners meetings, is headed “90-Day Trial.”
In the article, it was pointed out that one approach to newcomers might be: “I’d like to suggest that for a period of three months you decide to stay away from a drink twenty-four hours at a time, and also decide to attend
many meetings—every night if possible. Surely you can spare ninety days from your life. They might prove to be the most useful ninety days in your entire lifetime. You may learn whether or not you are an alcoholic, and that’s
a good thing to know.”
(o:
NoelleR
Every Mother's Worst Nightmare
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Deep in the heart of LaLa land
Posts: 688
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
I have known many over the years who thought that and are dead today.
AA is for those who want it. Many need it , some want it.
I thought what you thought when I was 25 yrs old... at 45 I knew I was wrong.
All the best.
Bob R
AA is for those who want it. Many need it , some want it.
I thought what you thought when I was 25 yrs old... at 45 I knew I was wrong.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Newcastle, UK
Posts: 571
Originally Posted by Nattythreads
I'm glad it's worked out for you, Bob. Personally I get much from it. But it doesn't change the reality that it's not everybody's cup of tea. There is good sobriety outside the rooms.
I completely agree, AA is a powerful tool for many, and i'm really glad it's worked for you Bob, I Really am, but I know others who have recovered in other ways, for example Rational Recovery or SMART. I'm experimenting with all at the moment. I just don't think it's particularly fair to mention not going to AA and death in the same sentence.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I think going once per week is just fine. Sometimes hard-liners will tell you you're "not doing enough" but try and ignore that. As long as you're being responsible in your sobriety, trust yourself, and have some support system or plan in place, that is good. Just stay sober!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,911
Here's a thought.
Once you get established in AA and meet a few other AA members in your area, you can start a new group. Then you'll have a meeting in a time and place convenient for you. I've been to several meeting where it's just me and 3 other people.
Once you get established in AA and meet a few other AA members in your area, you can start a new group. Then you'll have a meeting in a time and place convenient for you. I've been to several meeting where it's just me and 3 other people.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Panache, use whatever resource is available to you. 90 for 90 appears to be an arbitrary number, and I'd bet serious money there is no sound science or research that proves it's efficacy. I'm not saying don't attend 90 meetings in 90 days, if you can and if it works for you that's great. But if your circumstances don't allow for it then try not to let it concern you. It could become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A meeting a week is a good start IMO, and there is at least one online resource (SMART Recovery*) which has online meetings, and of course, you always have this site. Above all keep your focus on staying sober.
The truth is that despite what some of the hardcore AA members imply, there are a number of roads to true sobriety. I firmly believe you (and many of us here) will find the one that works for you.
*SMART Recovery is not a 12 Step program
A meeting a week is a good start IMO, and there is at least one online resource (SMART Recovery*) which has online meetings, and of course, you always have this site. Above all keep your focus on staying sober.
The truth is that despite what some of the hardcore AA members imply, there are a number of roads to true sobriety. I firmly believe you (and many of us here) will find the one that works for you.
*SMART Recovery is not a 12 Step program
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
