Posting on other forums...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 106
Posting on other forums...
Is is unusual or "not ok" to post on the other alcoholic forums? I read them to get insight and have wondered with all the questions we have regarding our As, why more people do not post on that forum...Would they get offended?
Is is considered crossing a line? I actually wish they would post more on ours when there is a situation they are familiar with.
Just a thought.....
Is is considered crossing a line? I actually wish they would post more on ours when there is a situation they are familiar with.
Just a thought.....
I think it depends on the situation. I've had folks from the "other side" post some comments on my threads that were very insightful and heartfelt, and I appreciated them. In my opinion, if it's a comment that is helpful and heartfelt and comes from a good place, there's no harm in crossing over. But I imagine that not everyone feels the same, and there are some situations where A's want to just hear from A's and loved ones just want to hear from loved ones.
I'm an alcoholic and have no problems with you posting on that side. I come here to read your guys stories because they help keep me grounded and it helps remind me who I don't want to be.
Also coming from an alcoholic home I can relate to alot of what is posted here. At the end of the day the alcohol effects us all in some way. We are really all in this together, if that makes any sense.
Also coming from an alcoholic home I can relate to alot of what is posted here. At the end of the day the alcohol effects us all in some way. We are really all in this together, if that makes any sense.
LadyinBC, that is a nice thought about us all being in this together.
I'm very happy to hear from recovered alcoholics, but am not sure I'd like active ones posting in our section. One of them posted here the other night, and it was sort of upsetting as it sounded exactly like something my ex would have said while drunk.
I'm very happy to hear from recovered alcoholics, but am not sure I'd like active ones posting in our section. One of them posted here the other night, and it was sort of upsetting as it sounded exactly like something my ex would have said while drunk.
I agree that active alcoholics should probably stay on their own side of the forum, but that's really a matter for the moderators to address if things get out of hand. Basically, everyone should use common sense and compassion wherever they post.
This is a good thread and thanks for posting.
Reading through the thread reminded me of an experience from outside of SR that I'd like to share.
Several years ago, I had driven my then teen son to an NA meeting, one of multiple he was expected to attend to fulfill part of a court-ordered program (this was post an inpatient stay in a dual diagnosis program). He had asked me to go into the meeting with him, which I did. In retrospect, I probably should have stayed on my side of the fence but was new to all of this and said, ok, I'd go. When after the opening concluded and all folks dispersed to groups to share, I went with one group and he another. When in the group gathering, it came time for me to share, and I openly expressed that I was there to support my teen son to which one of the members offered that there were also NarAnon meetings there in the building, if I was interested; I was glad they were "gentle" with me, being that I (maybe subjective or not) did feel like I was butting in by joining them at that meeting. It seemed those there were being helpful and not defensive about me participating, though, I was glad to find out about the AlAnon group and started with that in weeks that followed.
Reading through the thread reminded me of an experience from outside of SR that I'd like to share.
Several years ago, I had driven my then teen son to an NA meeting, one of multiple he was expected to attend to fulfill part of a court-ordered program (this was post an inpatient stay in a dual diagnosis program). He had asked me to go into the meeting with him, which I did. In retrospect, I probably should have stayed on my side of the fence but was new to all of this and said, ok, I'd go. When after the opening concluded and all folks dispersed to groups to share, I went with one group and he another. When in the group gathering, it came time for me to share, and I openly expressed that I was there to support my teen son to which one of the members offered that there were also NarAnon meetings there in the building, if I was interested; I was glad they were "gentle" with me, being that I (maybe subjective or not) did feel like I was butting in by joining them at that meeting. It seemed those there were being helpful and not defensive about me participating, though, I was glad to find out about the AlAnon group and started with that in weeks that followed.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,038
I learn lots from reading on the other side. And active or not, if an A reads something here that would help them with their recovery, that would be awesome.
I wish my A would get over to SR and start learning. I am so incredulous that there are alcoholics who try and do get into recovery, as mine after everything has never once expressed wanting to get sober .
Anyway, I have always thought that there should be a "a's and ff of a's exchange" here. We once had an A come to our Al Anon meeting and he talked and answered questions. It was really helpful to me to hear his story.
He was so sad.
I wish my A would get over to SR and start learning. I am so incredulous that there are alcoholics who try and do get into recovery, as mine after everything has never once expressed wanting to get sober .
Anyway, I have always thought that there should be a "a's and ff of a's exchange" here. We once had an A come to our Al Anon meeting and he talked and answered questions. It was really helpful to me to hear his story.
He was so sad.
As an alcoholic who regularly reads the Friends & Family section, I certainly don't mind if you post in those other forums. Online communities like this one are good because we can see into one another's worlds. I find dialogue and conversation between anyone suffering to be a good thing.
*Correction to my previous post, "I was glad to find out about the AlAnon group and started with that in weeks that followed." It was NarAnon, not AlAnon. Sorry, having trouble staying focused with my words today!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 30
I'm an alcoholic and check the "Friends and Family" forum more frequently than I do the "Alcoholics" forum. Reading the pain that others go through with their alcoholic, has opened my eyes to how I have been treating my family and friends. However, I'm often hesitant to post onto the "Friends and Family" forum because I don't want to feel like I'm intruding/being nosey/not welcome. Sometimes I really do step in and give my two cents, for what they are worth. Helping others is a wonderful feeling. No matter what side of the fence you are on.
I'm like some of the other Recovering Alcoholics. I read here to gain more perspective on how my family probably feels. I only have posted once here to CeciliaV. I have been following her story and just wanted to let her know I am thinking of her in her situation and I wanted to show some support.
I also don't mind if F&F post in the other section. HUGS to you all and much love and respect to you all.
I also don't mind if F&F post in the other section. HUGS to you all and much love and respect to you all.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 106
I guess Im wishing that I could get more understanding as to why my STBXRAH is in supposed recovery and from my view (and Im aware that it may not look like it from someone else view) is still such a mess.
Ive been pretty good the last few weeks...NC has made me feel not as desperate and full of anxiety and I think, helped me to see things clearer. For some reason today Im thinking how I just cant believe how all of this has played out...the affair, the way he walked out on my kids, the person he is today...which is NOTHING close to who he was while we were together for 20 yrs...the whole dog situation (for those of you who followed that horrible thread)
Theres no accountability from him, no empathy for anyones feelings, no remorse of any kind.
Is that recovery...everything Ive learned in Al anon is about owning what you have done..doing what you can to make it right..
good lord Im so sick of feeling like this...I just want to be happy again. I miss that man I was married to all those years and it feels like hes dead and gone, with out any of the understanding of friends for the pain you go through dealing with that.
I don't understand it at all...any of it...
but tomorrows another day right ???
Ive been pretty good the last few weeks...NC has made me feel not as desperate and full of anxiety and I think, helped me to see things clearer. For some reason today Im thinking how I just cant believe how all of this has played out...the affair, the way he walked out on my kids, the person he is today...which is NOTHING close to who he was while we were together for 20 yrs...the whole dog situation (for those of you who followed that horrible thread)
Theres no accountability from him, no empathy for anyones feelings, no remorse of any kind.
Is that recovery...everything Ive learned in Al anon is about owning what you have done..doing what you can to make it right..
good lord Im so sick of feeling like this...I just want to be happy again. I miss that man I was married to all those years and it feels like hes dead and gone, with out any of the understanding of friends for the pain you go through dealing with that.
I don't understand it at all...any of it...
but tomorrows another day right ???
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
We don't bite...well not that hard anyway
I was a drunk, I grew up with a raging abusive drunk, and I have loved and/or lived with those who have been addicted as well.
I think that when people are honest and respectful, their posts/questions are welcomed on any forum at SR.
I was a drunk, I grew up with a raging abusive drunk, and I have loved and/or lived with those who have been addicted as well.
I think that when people are honest and respectful, their posts/questions are welcomed on any forum at SR.
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