Vastreaction

This is my 4th day sober. I finally slept last night! (I suffered 72 hours of absolutely brutal insomnia). This is what I have accomplished today:

-Woke up, took the low dose anxiety med doctor prescribed for withdrawals.
-Walked 15 mins to the local shopping center and got a haircut. Had a nice chat with the stylist.
-Walked over to the store, bought some lunch fixings.
-Walked 15 mins home, cooked lunch and ate.
-Assaulted my bedroom. I am a BAD hoarder of cans/bottles and garbage when I binge. I compiled several bags of 24oz cans, fast food bags, just general TRASH from my closet. I took several trips to the apartment complex compactor and purged it all.
-Organized the bedroom a bit. My closet now has nothing but clothing.

Whew. Normally, after getting so much done in one day, I'd feel so proud of myself I'd crack a beer! Then another. And another. Then wake up on the couch sweating and not knowing precisely what day it is...

Instead, I'm going to crack open a Mountain Dew, and practice for my college placement exam. This forum is literally saving my life, lol. Thanks for being here.

27cougar

Way to go! What a great feeling. Keep up the good work!

Vastreaction

Thanks! So I slipped up on the studying, and instead started watching stupid things on Netflix. But I guess that's the best kind of slip-up I could have lately. :P

Coldfusion

Whatever works. I describe my detox experience as some kind of spiritual awakening, but in fact all we did was watch videos (in between meetings, therapy, sleep...sleep...)

SophieB

I think watching stupid things on netflix, and lifetime television should be listed somewhere in the detox/recovery books that it is a really necessary and important thing to do to get on the right track

Well done on the cleaning and purging vastreaction. Feels great right?

debsam

Yep the insomnia is terrible...but you got through it!

When we put our bodies through so much we forget just how great it feels to *sleep* and not pass out.

For me, having some order in my surroundings was a pretty accurate reflection of my own mind. Still true for me today at almost 2 years sober.

Well done

TomSawyer

Today was my proudest Saturday in a long time. I told myself I was quitting Thursday, but my withdrawals were so bad (they get worse and worse with kindling) so I was trying to taper. I was still tapering today but I was still shaking and pacing. I finally got up the courage and told my parents I needed real help so I went to the doctors and got vitamins put into me and some anxiety meds, and while there talked to a therapist and signed up for intensive outcare recovery. I feel proud of myself for the first time in a while.

TomSawyer

I am the same way with hoarding cans in my room. I would stack them up inside my dresser drawers.

Vastreaction

Tom that's awesome that you told your parents. I suffered through day one on my own, finally called my dad, and got myself an appointment with a doc for some B Vitamins and anxiety meds too. Yeah, I would stack cans and bottles in my dresser drawers.

My worst memory is taking them downstairs secretly to the garage, and smashing them in a bucket using the blunt end of an axe so that I could throw them away as shattered shards, thinking maybe nobody would know what they were. Then my roommate asked two days later "Why were you smashing a sh** load of beer bottles in the garage at 3 am?"

Embarrassing... glad that crap is over.

TomSawyer

Well soon we can hopefully look back with humor on some of the things we did, Vast.

I knew I had a problem when I started doing the hiding cans in dresser drawers thing. Sometimes I would be paranoid that the neighbors would see me taking them out in bulks, so I put empties in a duffle bag to take them out in.