ready for change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Fort Worth TX
Posts: 2
ready for change
I’m new to this site and I really need guidance and want to become clean so any information or support I can get will be very helpful.
I’ve been taking pain pills (hydrocodone) for 3 years straight and now I’m up to 60 mg per day. I’m starting my sobriety today, but I’m really scared of the withdrawals and I have in my mind that I need the pills to sleep at night or just to have a good day. I’m really tired of this addiction and I’m about to lose my boyfriend if I don’t stop and he is a really great guy. I have lost all my friends and my relationship with my family isn’t so good now. I tend to isolate myself from every one and don’t want to go out and socialize with anyone. Before the pills I was the happiest bubbliest person and the life of the party and outgoing. Growing up I was a cheerleader and was in beauty pageants and played in all kind of sports. I don’t like the person I’ve become and I just want the old me back. I understand that the pills do something to your brain and messes with certain chemicals that control your mood. I hope my chemicals will balance again and I’ll be back to normal. I sometimes feel like I’m living a double life im a career woman by day at a major bank as an underwriter and as soon as I get off work I’m trying to find pills. To make matters worse my sister is my dealer and I buy pills from her when I run out of my pills from the doctor. That has made it that much harder for me to stop my addiction. Do these pills make you very quiet and almost scared to talk to people? I’ve just start noticing how my personality is now and how I have mood swings and not the happiest person now.
I decided to post my story with everyone on this website and get some positive feedback from anyone that has been through this. I’m going to keep fighting and take this one day at a time!!
I’ve been taking pain pills (hydrocodone) for 3 years straight and now I’m up to 60 mg per day. I’m starting my sobriety today, but I’m really scared of the withdrawals and I have in my mind that I need the pills to sleep at night or just to have a good day. I’m really tired of this addiction and I’m about to lose my boyfriend if I don’t stop and he is a really great guy. I have lost all my friends and my relationship with my family isn’t so good now. I tend to isolate myself from every one and don’t want to go out and socialize with anyone. Before the pills I was the happiest bubbliest person and the life of the party and outgoing. Growing up I was a cheerleader and was in beauty pageants and played in all kind of sports. I don’t like the person I’ve become and I just want the old me back. I understand that the pills do something to your brain and messes with certain chemicals that control your mood. I hope my chemicals will balance again and I’ll be back to normal. I sometimes feel like I’m living a double life im a career woman by day at a major bank as an underwriter and as soon as I get off work I’m trying to find pills. To make matters worse my sister is my dealer and I buy pills from her when I run out of my pills from the doctor. That has made it that much harder for me to stop my addiction. Do these pills make you very quiet and almost scared to talk to people? I’ve just start noticing how my personality is now and how I have mood swings and not the happiest person now.
I decided to post my story with everyone on this website and get some positive feedback from anyone that has been through this. I’m going to keep fighting and take this one day at a time!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 93
Hey welcome! Today is my day 1 too. I I joined this site last week and it has been really helpful. Like you said...one day at a time. I to feel like I am living a double life. I have a successful career as an accountant, I have two beautiful kids, and a nice house but my downfall is alcohol. I love to drink and I can't stop once I do. The thing is is that you are looking for positive support and advise. I don't know about pills so I am not sure about what happens when you stop. Maybe you should talk to your dr about it?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 54
I'm sorry that I do not have the answers you are probably looking for, my drug of choice is alcohol so what advice I give is not through experience.
From my understanding, completely stopping pills is dangerous. you may need to talk to your doctor and find a replacement therapy. Be honest with them and tell them you want to change now.
You also need to stay away from your sister. It may hurt but you need to worry about yourself and your health first.
Good Luck, and I hope you find the answers you are looking for!
From my understanding, completely stopping pills is dangerous. you may need to talk to your doctor and find a replacement therapy. Be honest with them and tell them you want to change now.
You also need to stay away from your sister. It may hurt but you need to worry about yourself and your health first.
Good Luck, and I hope you find the answers you are looking for!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 8
17 days ago I was where you are now. It won't be easy but if you can make it to day 17 like I did, you will feel so much better. My advice is, take time off from work. I tried getting sober while working MANY times and failed. I finally got laid off (I kinda begged my boss to lay me off) and am focusing on my sobriety. If you have to get a doctor's note, do it! My doctor would've given me 2-4 weeks off but I was just done with my job and really didn't want to be there anymore. If you can, get 6-8 pills of xanax/valium (or whatever other anti-anxiety med.) it will help you sleep. Just don't get more than 8 pills because those are addictive. I felt that 8 pills got me through the first week and makde things a lot more confortable for me. Also, 4-6 pills of a muscle relaxant (soma). They will help you with ressless legs at night. Oh, Lorapadine (immodium) is very helpful for those stomach cramps. There's no reason to be scared. Just get some good meds and don't make any plans for the next few days. You may feel terrible, or you may feel like you have the flu or just a cold. It is different for everyone. Good Luck. BTW, I also have a great bf and he is one of my biggest reasons for being sober :-)
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