Stash

I always thought of my self as being very strong. I never lost a fight and was never scared to take anyone on. Im not so strong these days. I realized how weak i am. how Im not strong when it comes to alcohol. I hate that awkward feeling I get when I see that can of beer just sitting there waiting for me to pick it up.
I feel like everyone stares at me because they know i dont drink anymore. I can see the debate and panic in their eyes as they wonder if they should put the drinks away or leave them out.
It makes me feel like an outsider. Like I dont belong anywhere anymore. I feel like i make my drinking buddies uncomfortable and my sober friends just dont understand how i feel and they really dont want to hear it.

Its hard becoming a new person. I realize a lot more things about myself and about other people. I realize now how much i want to drink every day and how i miss hanging out with those people and not giving a f**k about anything.

I realize how awesome it feels to be sober everyday. I love waking up every morning and thinking about how i managed to stay sober another day.. how i woke up with out a hang over and how proud i am of myself.

I realize how much my boyfriend really loves me . when I was drinking all i thought about was how much he hated me. when really he just wanted me sober. I love him so much and I wouldn't be able to do any of this with out him. I'm so thankful that he stayed with me through my worst days now he'll be with me through the good days.

least

You may think you're weak, but you have an inner strength you're not aware of. We all have it, just have trouble finding it sometimes.

Richierich777

I can still hang out with my friends when they drink. I do think about it but you know what I tell them I can't or I will die. See if I keep drinking and I haven't and if you do, as you know it will eventually kill you. So sometime just being honest and grabbing a coke or juice and hanging out with by friends is still good.

ForMy2Boys

You have wonderful support through a man who truly loves you for who you are. Embrace it and keep moving forward. How long have you been sober?

The cravings and mind set are a grieving process. Your brain is sad at the loss of a dear friend, but with time, it will get easier. Just as when we lose someone close to us. It hurts deeply at first, but it does get easier to cope with. Just as with the loss of a dear one that we know we will never see again, we must tell our addict brain that we are the one in control and it will never see it's dear friend alcohol again. Stay strong!!!

shauninspain

You can give yourself permission to be weak. In fact I'd encourage it. With regards to drinking alcohol that is. I hope that I never again feel strong and macho surrounding it. Or have that feeling that I can control it, and not it control me. I might as well go in the ring with a professional cage fighter, for all the chance I'd stand of winning that fight! And yes, normal drinkers couldn't understand what it's like. They're an alien breed! Your boyfriend obviously cares deeply for you and has a good inkling of how it makes you change. And with good communication he may even begin to empathize with the deeper emotions that you have for the drug.

Just hold on to those morning butterflies and pride when you realize that you've gone another day and passed another big test. Don't concern yourself with what others may think. You are now walking a new path. It's clean, and the air is fresh and invigorating.

If anyone asks why you don't drink just say you're allergic, like some people are allergic to peanuts. They'll probably feel sorry for you.

'Oh you poor thing. How do you live without a drink'.
'Um... very very well, actually'!!!

fitmindgirl

I truely believe that we addicts are the strong ones in the world. We were able to overcome one of the hardest challenges in life. Whether we've been sober one day or many years. It takes so much strength to stay sober! Addiction/sobriety does change us but it is a good thing. I also have a bf who I felt hated me when I was talking pills. Now, I know he loves me so much and he just wanted me to be myself again. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Don't hang out with ppl who drink and if you have to, just try to make light of it. Sometimes ppl just don't know what to say or how to act around us. When my bf leaves his meds around the house, I just say something like " I think I need a vicodin, my hips hurt...I was supposed to have surgery" (from the sopranos) he smiles and puts them away...:-)

LadyinBC

You are not weak. Far from it. Admitting we can't control alcohol makes us stronger. Not drinking, makes us stronger.

The friend thing can take time. Some friends you keep, some you lose. People that care about you will stick around and the longer you are sober the less scared they will be.