JT

Good Morning,

Bare with me...I am having a soapbox moment...

I am wondering what you all think Al Anon is. I have been involved for some time and my feelings have evolved over time to the following. Al Anon is in no way unique in that it teaches a way to live. It teaches us to find peace even in a storm. We all have problems...co-workers, families, friends, road rage and on and on. Al Anon and the 12 steps have shown me a way to remain basically unaffected by the "noice" all around me and allowed me to be content. Something I never thought I would be able to achieve.

Al Anon is not about anyone but me and my relationship to the rest of the world. Hell, even Dr Phil and Oprah spout the same basic truths that the 12 steps do. So does the Dalai Lama.

We can only change ourselves…that is a life law that is not only taught in 12 step programs. It is a law that when learned causes the letting go of all the outside stuff to fall right into place.

The 12 steps are a method of achieving peace…quite possible for the first time in our lives. It is not about learning to live with another person’s addiction. It is about learning to live …period.

Any thoughts??

JT

Dazimae

Thanks JT, I am not sure where I stand with Alonon I have only been to 3 meetings, But I agree that Alonon is not the only program that teaches these same steps. I went to a marriage seminar and there they taught the same things.
I have always been a bit confused with the " teaching you to live with an alcoholic" the things I I dont want to. I want him to stop drinking I want to be able to have a nice conversation with my AH sobor so I know we are making headway. BUT I have learned every change starts with me. I know most people turn to Alonon when things are just to unbearable to handle.... * like me* and by that point our self eastem and feelings about ourselves are so dumped on that we need to learn who we are agian. We get so involved with the A problem and trying to change them that we forget about ourselves.
thanks for the reminder

JT

Dazimae

Thank YOU for the reminder. When we get to the point of reaching out we are looking for the quick fix...for THEM. I was the same. Why should I change?? THEY are the ones with the problem! I slowly learned that even if he changed I would still be stuck with me.

JT

sunflowergal29

Yeah- that is the hardest part. I was married before to an addict, lived with one before him and now with my ah. And, through it all, if we ever had a problem, it was me saying that one of them needed to change something, never me. This isn't to say that it was my fault that they were so screwed up, just that I had finally realized that there were reasons why I could allow myself to be treated like a piece of garbage. BOUNDARIES? WHAT ARE BOUNDARIES? CHOICES? I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!That was my old way of thinking. Alanon has taught me that I CAN'T change them, but that there are MANY things I can still change about me, including what I want to live with and making choices that are right for me, no one else. It has given me freedom and the right to care about me again. Thank you everyone!!!!!

Gabe

JT,
Thoughts? I think you said it all, just perfectly.
Peace,
Gabe