Benrush

I have tried to quit before, and/or cut back, but I always end up talking myself out of it by about day 3-4 (today's day 4 this time around...). Tomorrow one of my friends wants to hang out and have a few brews. It sounds stupid but I am already getting those creeping thoughts... "You can just moderate your drinking" and "you're not reaaaally someone with a drinking problem" and "you can go and just have a beer".

Ugh.

I hate this part about my relationship with alcohol. I have an awful weekend of binging, decide that now is the time to get control of things, and by Friday I'm ready to do it all over again. I'm thankful that I'm trying with SR this time around because at least I have to think about the things before I make stupid decisions.

Anyone else fighting the rationalizing fight?

julez

Oh yes, you are not alone here my friend.

TryingHarder

As a binge drinker myself, rationalizing has been the number one hindrance to my success at stopping entirely. Hey...I don't drink that often. I can just drink a couple like a regular person. And on and on and on. Maybe I can do that one time or two times. But I'm really hating having one or two because what's the point in that!!!

When I'm honest I know that binging isn't normal or healthy drinking. It's a process we have to go through. We must finally admit that we aren't normal drinkers and we never can be. Hang in there. Be ready to tell your rationalizing brain it's a liar. A big fat liar.

kizzy40

No, I did that 3 months ago, well... I stopped drinking then but the rationalising with myself had been goin on for weeks before. I would literally have discussions with myself before I fell asleep, (crazy English woman alert) In my head obv, not out loud i'm not totally loopy haha.
Anyhoo I feel that was what allowed me to break from my addiction, I made no threats or demands I was calm and suggested it was time I called it a day with the alcohol.
There is never a 'just one' option however associated with this, I am of the mind that some people are just not wired to drink responsibly.
Your addiction is talking to you, it wants you to drink... Maybe instead of giving in you could have a word?

flujays

Yes I agree with tryingharder. I too am a binge drinker (or was). Today is Friday, my trigger day and I'm also on day 4. We are ahead of the game here because we know what our 'booze brain' is doing. It's trying to get us to pick up a drink because it 'the booze brain' or the 'beast' doesn't have arms to do it itself. Don't listen to it. It is a big fat liar. I strongly suggest you google AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique) and do the online crash course. I have done it and it helps IMMENSELY. It is free, it doesn't take long and it makes ALOT of sense. what have you got to lose? Don't give in you can do this. Today is day 4 and i will not drink today. Down Beast down!!! Good luck!

newhope01

Love what you wrote as I feel it really exemplifies the truth. I was also thinking after reading your comment, "Yeah! Stupid big fat lying brain!" So, I guess you can say I agree with what you.

Dee74

i think everyone has that bensober

I found being here, reading and posting everyday really helped me beat those rationalisations - we all know it really is that bad, and somehow being here helped keep that in my mind.

why not join the March thread?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-5-a-7.html
D

TryingHarder

My second full weekend is coming up so I'm a bit nervous. But I will deal with it day by day. I can't look that far ahead. One day at a time. It's crucial to take it that way for me.

And honestly, there's no way I could hang out with a bud who was drinking beers yet. I'm just not ready for that yet.

FeenixxRising

Similar situation for me Benrush. Personally, I would cancel the night out and stay home.

doggonecarl

Ditto what FeenixxRising says. It's too early in your recovery to put such a temptation in front of you. There will be other Fridays with your friends when you are stronger.

And if you do see them, maybe it's because you want to be talked into drinking.

Mizzuno

Well, lets play the tape through.......I go out with my friend and i am only going to have a few brews. I have a few with said friend, I am feeling so good that i think I will have a few more. A few more turns into so many that i can not count. I am now drunk and slurring my words. I am now not aware of whats going on and when it is going on. I stumble home, or get in my car, or pick a fight, or wind up in some strangers bed, or drunk dial my loved ones, or puke in the toilet ( Im not sure what you do when you binge)
In the morning you are worthless to the world, to your dog that needs a walk, to your partner, to your house that needs cleaning. That workout that you wanted to get in will have to wait.
I am just sayin' play the tape through. For me, It would most likely be another bad decision.

avocado

i let all my friends know I was quitting and told them exactly why. Since they're true friends they respected my decision and they don't pressure me into drinking. I still go to bars with them when it's for a concert or to a place that serves food, but they don't call me for basic trips to the dive bars to get plowed any more. I find that being compeltely honest with people helps them become assistants to my sobriety rather than bad influences to derail me.

quitforme79

Until I TRULY accepted that I could never drink safely (normally) again , I rationalized. I know now that one drink and there's no telling what terrible thing could happen.

It's definitely a process. My mind still tries to trick me into it but it's getting quieter and future tense...Such as "If I stay sober for 10 years maybe I'll have a drink" I stay sober just for today which is awesome because tomorrow or 10 years from now may never come

quitforme79

My tape is very similar to yours Mizzuno! Great advice...when I look back the fantasy takes on a new view

fantail

A thing that helps me when I start thinking "I'll just go and have two drinks."

I ask myself, "Self, have you ever enjoyed having just two drinks?"

The answer is no. Or at least, not for a long time. There have been times when I went out and had just two, sure, but I didn't enjoy it. For me that's like smelling something delicious cooking but not being able to have any. Once I've gotten a taste, that's all I can think about.

So really, even if you do manage to moderate, is there much of a point? For me I figure that even a successfully moderated night will be a hell of a lot more work than a sober night, so it's easier just to not try and just enjoy spending time with my friends.

mecanix

I think i rationalized 7 years away at least . If you have the problem i did i hope you find the solution quicker than i did .

Bestwishes, M

Marcher13

Two drinks. I watch them get poured, down them and then I wait for the next five or six to be poured and drunk. There are never just two. I can trick myself as much I wish but I know full well I will not stop at two.

Sorry, I used the incorrect tense on those verbs, I'm on Day 14 and tomorrow will be Day 15.

shauninspain

Like others have said I would avoid going out tonight at all costs. The temptation to join in with the drinking would be huge, and probably impossible to avoid. Just give your friend a call and apologize, but tell them that you're feeling ill (which you are so you wont be lying). Rent a movie, buy a take away and enjoy the evening on your own. The hardest thing is the decision to say no to your friend. But when you've done that you'll breathe a huge sigh of relief and your anxiety and indecision will fade away. You'll know where you're going and what you're doing tonight. Tomorrow morning when you awake I can't tell you how excited you will feel about being the master of your own destiny.

Panache

Benrush I'll be fighting it this evening, it's Friday, it's the worst. ShauninSpain has spoke a lot of sense there and I plan on doing that myself.

I'm going to barricade myself in my house tonight armed with films, good food and this site. Even if I have to stay awake all night obsessing over it and don't get any sleep, at least I'm off work tomorrow and can afford to be tired and grouchy.

All I have to do is just not pick up that bottle... Easier than it sounds, I know, but achievable.

bagpussgirl

Hi Benrush
Why not re read your post ' Day One' to remind yourself how you were thinking/feeling when you signed up to this board .

Good luck x