Jakeysnakey

I'm noticing that I'm angry about everything!

A coworker sends me an email and I automatically think she's pointing out that I forgot something

Someone else changes something else I suggest and I'm offended

My sister sends me a picture of a receipt so I can reimburse her for something and I'm mad that she did this so quickly, but when I ask her for other favours she ignores me

I'm mad that someone took down the advertisement for my apartment sale that I posted in the laundry room - it's allowed!

All this in the past like, hour....exhausting!

No WONDER I'm restless, irritable and discontent. These resentments are so small I'm going to spend my entire life writing fourths.

Anyone else relate? Does this go away?

Anna

Yes, it does get easier.

I also remember being angry at just about everything. Eventually, I realized that a lot of the anger was actually directed toward me because I blamed myself for becoming an alcoholic. Once I realized that, it became easier for me. Forgive yourself and forgive others, all day long if you have to. Journal about it if it helps. You can get through this.

Grymt

Yeah, the more you own the anger and don't project it the more it becomes what it is and you can start letting go of it. Sounds easy but it's not, in time though it gets better. A hell of a lot better than feeding it.

ScottFromWI

I felt that way sometimes the first few weeks, and honestly I think it was my body/brain trying to get back at me for not drinking. It was saying - hey, why do you have time to do all these other things and not open a beer? The best advice I can give ( and still have a hard time following myself sometimes ) is this: Worry about the things you can control - your sobriety, your actions, your treatment of others. You cannot control how others act or think no matter what you do, so don't even try.

Panache

I'm terrible for this! "Nervy B's" (Nervous breakdowns) over the tiniest thing. Today's was someone getting in my way as I tried to get on a train so I missed the opportunity of a seat? I'm 25 years old, I'm more than capable of standing but boy was I miffed! I need to have a word with myself, pronto...

escapist

It's hard to say if I become angry more often now that I am sober. I did'nt really feel anything but drunk before. I think certain things cause outrage more than they did because my awareness and sensitivity have increased. My insistance for resolution and my ability to achieve it are greater now too.

RiverFriend

Totally hear you on this. I'm on Day 14 and certainly find myself really angry sometimes. I had 20 or 22 months sober at one point (really did lose count) but still struggled with anger. I absolutely agree with what Anna says....it does get better but it certainly takes some acknowledgement of where that anger is actually directed. I know that I too was very mad at myself for being an alcoholic, for having to go through this. Sometimes, I can't even pin point the anger and just feel it through my body. For me, that is why this time I chose to get involved in a recovery program. I didn't want to be a pissed off sober person.....I want to be a sober person that sometimes gets pissed off when appropriate. I don't want to white knuckle it anymore and for me that means getting help and helping others.

DryRoastJim

This makes sense. When we quit whatever we are using to become numb, it stands to reason that our emotions are going to become more acute. It also stands to reason that anger is gonna be higher on the pile as we probably are rather annoyed at quitting drinking EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW WE HAVE TO!

But like all things, time will fix this. I do think that some of us (me) really needs to take some kind of anger management course or at least learn some kind of coping skills. The key thing is don't hold the negative crap!!

Panache

I get this completely! It's like part of me thinks, why can't I be that person who goes out of a weekend one night, has a couple of beers or a couple of wines, has a laugh and goes home. Why can't I be "normal"?
Instead I've gotta go to the extreme! Can't do the "one after work", no, I've got to go the shop on the way home and make sure I've had my 16 unit minimum before bed - that's why I'm angry.

cleareyes

I know that my emotions are ALL over the place right now. Anger, depression, being overwhelmed, self-pity...you name it!

I have started writing things down in a journal. Even if it's just I feel ____ right now and this is what is going on. If I elaborate sometimes it helps to get it out and also possibly have a chance to realize it's not that big of deal.

2granddaughters

4ths and 10ths. They are like a roller coaster ride but the peaks and valleys get moderate over time.

What did your sponsor say when you brought this up ?? .......

Sounds like a good day to repeat the Serenity Prayer a few times.

All the best.

Bob R

DryRoastJim

Theres a "normal?" Perhaps "normal" for us *is* no booze?

Yup, me too, at first. But now, with a little time in (and I do mean a little,) I can sorta switch that around. I am actually glad that I don't have to spend the money to get that six pack, I am actually happy that even if i stay up a bit late, I bounce back much better and earlier in the day and NO HANGOVER! I am actually happy that I'm not tripping over beer cans, I am happy that I don't look like a bag of **** when I first see myself in the mirror.

My point here is turn that anger around! Yes, ohhhh yes, at first, its frustrating staying sober, but <i>one day at a time</i> it gets easier and more enjoyable!

Hang in there!!

deeker

Sounds like your illness is trying to give you a good excuse to drink, be careful. Don't listen! Lower your expectations. Acceptance. Let it go! All repetitious, must be cuz they work.

Threshold

I was this way a LOT in early recovery. It got much better.

It took about three serious "4th steps" to get there. And those are over the course of about 3 years. I needed the growth and time in recovery between those 4th steps to be able to get honest and calm enough on my next one to go a little deeper.

This most recent 4th, followed by a 5th (the other two didn't really get followed up on) was a life changer for me.

I still have those angry days, exactly as you describe where even I know I am totally unreasonable.

I have noticed that PMS times often coincide with them and that alone has helped me. Being able to remind myself that my anger is hormonal, allows me to let it go easier, to not get so reactive about it.

I ALSO realized that a lot of my anger has to do with magical thinking, which is a recurring issue for me. What I mean is this. I WANT there to be something magical in the world that will "fix" things.

I used booze and pills in an attempt to find some "magic" that would make it all go away, make it better, make it easier for me to cope with life. But life's not like that.

So I got clean and sober and got all kinds of angry that THAT wasn't the magic thing that fixed the rest of my life. I wanted sobriety to be the instant fix.

And now, when I get angry, it's often connected to a sort of magical thinking. In my mind, I have the idea that some one things is super important, even critical to my well being, success, etc. So as soon as it doesn't go the way I think it should, I get wildly angry, because some part of my mind has decided THAT one thing is the magic key.

It's nearly always me blowing something way out of proportion. If I have to stand in line, I convince myself that that extra five minutes is the making or breaking of my day...and get all riled up.

If I get a phone call at an inopportune time...well THAT interrupted something that can never be taken back (yeah, right)

on and on. It's nearly always because I allow the idea that that one thing that did or didn't happen is going to mess it all up for me, has way more power than it really has, etc.

Then I react to that crazy idea, power I've given the thing, person or situation. Doing a "reality check", asking myself if that thing, person or situation truly has THAT much impact that it can ruin my entire life...nearly always diffuses the anger, because 95% of what I get worked up over is truly of little or no consequence.

I am shaking my head as I write this because I am, even in this exact moment, doing that exact thing I describe above. Silly silly me...time for a reality check.