What do you say?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 76
What do you say?
If AH wants to engage and pick, pick, pick at you to engage in an argument, what do you do?
I am trying to be cheerful, give short, sweet answers and just appear like none of this is bothering me. When in actuality, everything he says is a load of crap right now!!!!!
I am trying to be cheerful, give short, sweet answers and just appear like none of this is bothering me. When in actuality, everything he says is a load of crap right now!!!!!
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
What do I do?
Step away from the addict!
Go take a walk (depending on what time zone you are in), go visit a friend, call a friend, go take a shower, anything to put distance between yourselves while he is trying to hook you into his drama.
Step away from the addict!
Go take a walk (depending on what time zone you are in), go visit a friend, call a friend, go take a shower, anything to put distance between yourselves while he is trying to hook you into his drama.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 76
I can't!!!!! My kids are sleeping. I can't and won't leave them here. He did take his dinner in the bedroom. I am on the couch on my laptop. I refuse to engage. I don't want to get hooked. I am trying sooooo hard tonight.
Normally, I would have already taken the hook...my big mouth always takes the hook. Tonight, I want to refuse it!
Normally, I would have already taken the hook...my big mouth always takes the hook. Tonight, I want to refuse it!
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Good for you for doing something different this time!
Remember, it's progress not perfection in our recovery!
Have a Plan B for the next time. Like calling a friend or family member to have a friendly chat. Also taking a long, long shower can keep you away from him long enough for him to become distracted with something else.
Reading a book never works, they just keep talking, talking, talking. Sheeesh
Remember, it's progress not perfection in our recovery!
Have a Plan B for the next time. Like calling a friend or family member to have a friendly chat. Also taking a long, long shower can keep you away from him long enough for him to become distracted with something else.
Reading a book never works, they just keep talking, talking, talking. Sheeesh
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 76
Pelican...
Boy do I relate to the "talking talking talking"!!!!!
I was in the shower when he woke and got mad and decided to go get something to eat. I felt I had to get out quick cus I wanted to make sure he didn't go upstairs to bother the kids. 9/10 times he stays clear of the boys....but I always like to be in control and near if there is that potential.
I am learning to find distractions though...although I feel like I am lying to get out. For example, yesterday, I said I had errands to run. I really didn't...but it worked to get us out of the house. Today, i did the same.
I already scheduled a massage for tomorrow afternoon (thinking selfishly for myself) and told the boys I'd drop them off at the mall to go play glo golf. I figure that will keep us out of the house for a few hours and give us a chance to unwind.
I'm trying...nobody said this was going to be easy..
Boy do I relate to the "talking talking talking"!!!!!
I was in the shower when he woke and got mad and decided to go get something to eat. I felt I had to get out quick cus I wanted to make sure he didn't go upstairs to bother the kids. 9/10 times he stays clear of the boys....but I always like to be in control and near if there is that potential.
I am learning to find distractions though...although I feel like I am lying to get out. For example, yesterday, I said I had errands to run. I really didn't...but it worked to get us out of the house. Today, i did the same.
I already scheduled a massage for tomorrow afternoon (thinking selfishly for myself) and told the boys I'd drop them off at the mall to go play glo golf. I figure that will keep us out of the house for a few hours and give us a chance to unwind.
I'm trying...nobody said this was going to be easy..
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Its a tough situation. As a parent as well you cant leave your kids alone with an alcoholic nor one whos
Mental state is compromised.
What ive done....sonetimes its worked and sometimes it hasnt is ill go take a bath or "use the restroom too lomg lol" just to dissapear a bit.
If ah is completely wasted alot of the times hell forget im even there if I step out by doing so and carry on...eat drink and passing out.
Mental state is compromised.
What ive done....sonetimes its worked and sometimes it hasnt is ill go take a bath or "use the restroom too lomg lol" just to dissapear a bit.
If ah is completely wasted alot of the times hell forget im even there if I step out by doing so and carry on...eat drink and passing out.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
hate you had to deal with that last nite - it is sad that you can feel comfortable enough to relax and be safe in your own home - by safe I mean able to read a book, watch tv, surf the net without being pestered by the ragings of an A
Be there, done that - it's not easy to detach from their behaviors - sounds like you did a good job tho ~
try to remember whatever they say or do - it's not about you - it's just their own misery coming out!!
Keep taking good care of you & your children
pink hugs
Be there, done that - it's not easy to detach from their behaviors - sounds like you did a good job tho ~
try to remember whatever they say or do - it's not about you - it's just their own misery coming out!!
Keep taking good care of you & your children
pink hugs
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