dardanella

My story is long but here's the short. First drug was acid, then pot, alcohol and after that a list I likely can't remember all of and would rather not. For the last eight years before I 'recovered' it was opiates, methadone clinic, suboxone and now I'm free of the chain of having something i NEED if my family wants to go camping or on a road trip etc. Ah, but time slips away and things change, as they do and the family is gone now. The girls have gone to live their lives and I couldn't be happier for them, they are nothing like me, thankfully.
My marriage survived my addiction and it means the world to me. I am joining this forum because I'm realizing it will take a lot more work and insight for me to survive the sobriety. I'm pretty unhappy all the time. I don't know who could stand me when I can't stand myself!!!! So, hi guys, i know there is wisdom in every story here. Thanks in advance.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

Congratulations on your 2 years sober. Good for you!

I understand what you're saying because stopping the drinking/drugs doesn't solve the problem. For me, I had to make big changes in my life. I realized I wasn't the person I thought I had been all my life and that was disconcerting, discouraging and yet liberating. Recovery is a life-long journey, and I'm glad you've joined us.

Dee74

Welcome Dardanella

Like Anna, I found that not drinking or using was really just the first step for me - finding happiness was another deal altogether.

There's a ton of support and good ideas here tho - really glad you've joined us

D

dardanella

Thank you Anna and Dee74 - I can't find the words right now to express how much it helped me to get up this a.m. and realize by your posts that you know how I'm feeling. I have been very isolated in my recovery up to this point. This forum is what I need right now. I feel hopeful after reading this today.

Panache

Welcome Dardenella,

Firstly 2 years, what a massive achievement!

I'm just starting out on my recovery and haven't got to the stage where I'm finding myself, just resisting the drink is enough to deal with now.

Looking forward to chatting to you in the future, it gives me hope when I see people like yourself with lengthy sobriety. I can't imagine how well you must feel - hopefully I'll emulate it one day

soberlicious

Hi dardanella!
I have definitely had ups and downs since quitting...the ebb and flow of life. Sometimes it feels comfortable for me, like floating down a lazy river, and other times it feels like I am in that river, over my head, treading water to exhaustion.

The drink is of no issue to me anymore, but learning about myself and what makes me happy is an ongoing process.

Glad you are here. There are lots of wise people and interesting discussions going on all the time. I hope you will feel less isolated.

Mirage74

Dardanella, I'd be willing to bet that even though youre feeling unhappy, youre a lot better off than if you had been using the past two years. Believe me, I'm on day 4, you don't want to be where I am, I wish I had 2 years. But these boards are helping. Maybe try to find some outside support, that's what I'm going to have to do. Anyway, thanks for sharing, good luck!

dardanella

Mirage74, Heck yeah, I'm better off. When I was on day 4 I was in hell. Couldn't even imagine relief, mental or physical. The best day I can remember from all this was after many days of withdrawal I woke up feeling better than the day before. I cried, I was so happy. Hang in there!

dardanella

Panache, you're right I do feel well. I need to remember that all the time. The time between getting 'clean' and feeling like a real person again was a strange limbo. It did end however, and I also recall the beginning of that stage clearly. I laughed out loud at something and it was my old laugh, the real one I hadn't heard in years. I was missing the old me like an old friend.

The reminder from the members that not only recovery but life in general is turbulent is a simple concept but a deep comfort to me. As I write this I realize I have never counted days but my last day of withdrawal was September 24, 2010 , more than two years, so maybe as I receive help here I hope to provide some in return.

soberlicious

.
Exactly. Your words may be just what someone who is struggling needs right now.

xo

Foxface

That's awesome, thanks!