My first step and Im so scared
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2
My first step and Im so scared
Hello all I'm new here just joined today. I will start off by saying
That I have tried to quit drinking in the past, I might go a few weeks
Or even a few months. But I always end up turning to the bottle in the end.
I recently lost the love of my life due to my drinking and mood changes from it. I'm motivating myself now with that loss and the feelings I'm going through right now, to never go threw them again. So not drinking is truly my only option. I struggled after she left to the point I almost died from the booze. So I'm now two weeks sober and it’s very hard for me, I'm an emotional wreck, I cry then I'm happy , scared ,feelings like I'm going to drink again.
I realize I can’t do this on my own now; I have tried too many times, and fail. I have never been to an AA meeting yet, but know I need to go.
I have drunk for over 30 years; I’m now in my late 40’s. I hope this site can give me some more strength that I desperately need. I’m ok today so far and everyday pulls at me like a sick gut feeling of hopelessness.
I ask myself when the next day will come that I will drink again, it’s so easy to get, it’s everywhere and in everything we do in America, you name it and booze is there hiding in the shadows.
I blame a lot of my drinking problem on society and life styles that we as Americans live. It’s hard to stop drinking when so many around you drink.
I could go on and on, but I didn't come to complain , I just wanted to say hello and I’m only two weeks sober , but it feels harder now than it did a week ago , I’m not sure what’s up with that.
That I have tried to quit drinking in the past, I might go a few weeks
Or even a few months. But I always end up turning to the bottle in the end.
I recently lost the love of my life due to my drinking and mood changes from it. I'm motivating myself now with that loss and the feelings I'm going through right now, to never go threw them again. So not drinking is truly my only option. I struggled after she left to the point I almost died from the booze. So I'm now two weeks sober and it’s very hard for me, I'm an emotional wreck, I cry then I'm happy , scared ,feelings like I'm going to drink again.
I realize I can’t do this on my own now; I have tried too many times, and fail. I have never been to an AA meeting yet, but know I need to go.
I have drunk for over 30 years; I’m now in my late 40’s. I hope this site can give me some more strength that I desperately need. I’m ok today so far and everyday pulls at me like a sick gut feeling of hopelessness.
I ask myself when the next day will come that I will drink again, it’s so easy to get, it’s everywhere and in everything we do in America, you name it and booze is there hiding in the shadows.
I blame a lot of my drinking problem on society and life styles that we as Americans live. It’s hard to stop drinking when so many around you drink.
I could go on and on, but I didn't come to complain , I just wanted to say hello and I’m only two weeks sober , but it feels harder now than it did a week ago , I’m not sure what’s up with that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Liverpool, England
Posts: 681
Hi Tryingtomakeit,
I'm new to this site too, so can totally relate to that side of things. I can also relate to the fact that alcohol is such an integral part of society. In England there is a MASSIVE drinking culture, sometimes it seems that's all people do of a weekend (unfortunately I do it weekend and weekdays, there is no break). I guess that's something I'll have to work on - having fun without drink.
But anyway, welcome
I'm new to this site too, so can totally relate to that side of things. I can also relate to the fact that alcohol is such an integral part of society. In England there is a MASSIVE drinking culture, sometimes it seems that's all people do of a weekend (unfortunately I do it weekend and weekdays, there is no break). I guess that's something I'll have to work on - having fun without drink.
But anyway, welcome
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good to meet ya, try.
the day after my last drunk, my then fiance threw me out. that is what it took for me to finally accept that alcohol and me were the common denominators in all my problems. i wanted help.yup, i was a wreck. hated myself and what i had become.
thats when i went to AA. i was in a pretty good alcohol fog for a while, but i kept goin. i got the big book and read it...then had to reread..and reread. nothing was making sense, but it slowly started sinking in. i started reading the awesome promises from working the program and wanted them! they sounded great! so i put in the footwork.
it took T.I.M.E. but me and my life did get better! i can still remember that first day i went 24 hours without even thinking about having a drink(actually, i didnt notice it until the next day)!! what a miracle!! to not even thing about a drink? i didnt think that would be possible!
its been an awesome life so far.some of the things that have happened from workign the program of AA:
the craving, compulsion, and obsession dont exist
i have been restored to sanity( dont think i was ever sane to begin with)
i have been given a new life, a life with meaning
i can look at myself in the mirror( i mean at me!! not my hair or the dust bunnies on my shoulder) and like who i see
i can laugh at myself!!
i am living instead of existing!!!!!
the day after my last drunk, my then fiance threw me out. that is what it took for me to finally accept that alcohol and me were the common denominators in all my problems. i wanted help.yup, i was a wreck. hated myself and what i had become.
thats when i went to AA. i was in a pretty good alcohol fog for a while, but i kept goin. i got the big book and read it...then had to reread..and reread. nothing was making sense, but it slowly started sinking in. i started reading the awesome promises from working the program and wanted them! they sounded great! so i put in the footwork.
it took T.I.M.E. but me and my life did get better! i can still remember that first day i went 24 hours without even thinking about having a drink(actually, i didnt notice it until the next day)!! what a miracle!! to not even thing about a drink? i didnt think that would be possible!
its been an awesome life so far.some of the things that have happened from workign the program of AA:
the craving, compulsion, and obsession dont exist
i have been restored to sanity( dont think i was ever sane to begin with)
i have been given a new life, a life with meaning
i can look at myself in the mirror( i mean at me!! not my hair or the dust bunnies on my shoulder) and like who i see
i can laugh at myself!!
i am living instead of existing!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Liverpool, England
Posts: 681
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
I can still remember that first day i went 24 hours without even thinking about having a drink(actually, i didnt notice it until the next day)!! what a miracle!! to not even thing about a drink?
Nice to meet you tomsteve, your post was a good boost for me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
Posts: 718
Hello Trying---I too tried on my own a few times, but always went back to drinking..40 years of drinking. I hit my bottom, 3rd DUI and knew it was time to STOP--I since I had failed to do it on my own, I knew I needed support & a plan/program. I was fortunate to been allowed to go to rehab, because I knew I needed structure also. The program of AA now gives me that structure. But first we have to be honest with ourselves and be willing to make changes. It isn't easy after 40 years of bad habit. Sure alcohol is all around us, but we can no longer make excuses, it is up to us. I suggest AA, try it out & listen with an open mind. You will not be alone in this process and there will be others to help you along the way. Don't look at it as 'rest of your life'--look at it just 24 hours hours at a time and with time it does get easier. I wish you well & good luck on your journey. I just celebrated 2 years sober & never thought I would make it to that mark...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi Trying - welcome
I think in the end we have to decide where we stand - regardless of the culture around us, if we know our drinking is destructive to us, it makes sense for us to stop....it's imperative really.
There are millions of Americans, just like there are millions of Aussies and Britons, who don't drink and who lead happy full and contented lives
I'm really glad you're thinking about joining those ranks
D
I think in the end we have to decide where we stand - regardless of the culture around us, if we know our drinking is destructive to us, it makes sense for us to stop....it's imperative really.
There are millions of Americans, just like there are millions of Aussies and Britons, who don't drink and who lead happy full and contented lives
I'm really glad you're thinking about joining those ranks
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Welcome trying! It's wonderful to have you part of us. You'll find encouragement and support from people who understand just how you're feeling.
I remember thinking nothing would be fun again - but my life had been destroyed by drinking - so how was that fun? When I was honest, I couldn't even remember the last time I'd felt high and happy. In the end, it always took me to a dark and dangerous place. It's so good to be free of all that uncertainty and chaos. We're glad you joined the family - you can do this, trying.
I remember thinking nothing would be fun again - but my life had been destroyed by drinking - so how was that fun? When I was honest, I couldn't even remember the last time I'd felt high and happy. In the end, it always took me to a dark and dangerous place. It's so good to be free of all that uncertainty and chaos. We're glad you joined the family - you can do this, trying.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
As to the second week feeling worse, expect a lot of ups and downs early in recovery. It's a time of healing, of your body and brain getting adjusted to functioning without alcohol, and it takes a while and it's not always easy.
It will pass tho, with time, and the longer you stay sober, the better you'll feel.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by Tryingtomakeit
Hello all I'm new here just joined today. I will start off by saying
That I have tried to quit drinking in the past, I might go a few weeks
Or even a few months. But I always end up turning to the bottle in the end.
I recently lost the love of my life due to my drinking and mood changes from it. I'm motivating myself now with that loss and the feelings I'm going through right now, to never go threw them again. So not drinking is truly my only option. I struggled after she left to the point I almost died from the booze. So I'm now two weeks sober and it’s very hard for me, I'm an emotional wreck, I cry then I'm happy , scared ,feelings like I'm going to drink again.
I realize I can’t do this on my own now; I have tried too many times, and fail. I have never been to an AA meeting yet, but know I need to go.
I have drunk for over 30 years; I’m now in my late 40’s. I hope this site can give me some more strength that I desperately need. I’m ok today so far and everyday pulls at me like a sick gut feeling of hopelessness.
I ask myself when the next day will come that I will drink again, it’s so easy to get, it’s everywhere and in everything we do in America, you name it and booze is there hiding in the shadows.
I blame a lot of my drinking problem on society and life styles that we as Americans live. It’s hard to stop drinking when so many around you drink.
I could go on and on, but I didn't come to complain , I just wanted to say hello and I’m only two weeks sober , but it feels harder now than it did a week ago , I’m not sure what’s up with that.
That I have tried to quit drinking in the past, I might go a few weeks
Or even a few months. But I always end up turning to the bottle in the end.
I recently lost the love of my life due to my drinking and mood changes from it. I'm motivating myself now with that loss and the feelings I'm going through right now, to never go threw them again. So not drinking is truly my only option. I struggled after she left to the point I almost died from the booze. So I'm now two weeks sober and it’s very hard for me, I'm an emotional wreck, I cry then I'm happy , scared ,feelings like I'm going to drink again.
I realize I can’t do this on my own now; I have tried too many times, and fail. I have never been to an AA meeting yet, but know I need to go.
I have drunk for over 30 years; I’m now in my late 40’s. I hope this site can give me some more strength that I desperately need. I’m ok today so far and everyday pulls at me like a sick gut feeling of hopelessness.
I ask myself when the next day will come that I will drink again, it’s so easy to get, it’s everywhere and in everything we do in America, you name it and booze is there hiding in the shadows.
I blame a lot of my drinking problem on society and life styles that we as Americans live. It’s hard to stop drinking when so many around you drink.
I could go on and on, but I didn't come to complain , I just wanted to say hello and I’m only two weeks sober , but it feels harder now than it did a week ago , I’m not sure what’s up with that.
The only way I could get/stay sober was surrender to AA.
All the best.
Bob R
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Welcome, don't be afraid we are all here to help each other. But I have to agree with Bob on this one, dont try to do it all by yourself! I know its a slap in the face to be told that, but we can't do it alone. We need some type of structure and other people.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome, TTMI!
Being sober is easy - just don't drink.
Feeling good sober - now THAT can be a real challenge.
You're in the right place to find out the best way for you to feel good while you're sober. AA is the right answer for lots of people, but not everyone. Check it out, but if it's not for you, don't give up - something else will be!
Being sober is easy - just don't drink.
Feeling good sober - now THAT can be a real challenge.
You're in the right place to find out the best way for you to feel good while you're sober. AA is the right answer for lots of people, but not everyone. Check it out, but if it's not for you, don't give up - something else will be!
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