Im back but this time is different
EntertheSticks
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 139
Im back but this time is different
Some of you probably remember me and I was in an extremely dark place the first few times I came here. The support was amazing but yet I continued to drink because I did not truly want to help myself, I wanted the posters in here to make me feel better and tell me everything was ok, but still I never did anything about it.
I am now no longer living in denial... and i wanted to come here to share what I believe is already a small success. After numerous binges the guilt the shame, withdrawal, tossing and turning, restlessness etc.... I finally decided that MY WAY wasn't working anymore. I suffered from such an arrogance to feel that I was above treatment, that I was above a program, that i wasnt one of "those people". But after thinking about it.... who was better? me: the Creator of destruction or a group of people that come together admit they truly do have an issue, and are trying to help themselves?
Yesterday I attended my first meeting, and I hope to look at it as the first day that changed my life. For the first time I showed humility, and stopped living in denial that everything else was leading to these issues I had with drinking besides drinking itself. I am posting this because I hope somebody can read this who is im my position and they can take a look at themself and realize that it is ok to want help, it is ok to admit you have an issue, and it is COMPLETELY ok to take that first step to do something about it. The meeting was great... and I am looking forward to going tonight and sharing pretty much exactly what I am saying right now. It has been a long process for me to admit I TRULY had a problem and that I CANNOT solve it with just me. I feel terrible for anyone who has to go through what many of us have, however at the end of the day after all the blame shifting and terrible feelings I realized how accountable I needed to become. Meeting 2 tonight, celebrating that because that is all I can do, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. I wish you all the best... being new to recovery is an opportunity in my life, not the burden I was thinking it would be.
I am now no longer living in denial... and i wanted to come here to share what I believe is already a small success. After numerous binges the guilt the shame, withdrawal, tossing and turning, restlessness etc.... I finally decided that MY WAY wasn't working anymore. I suffered from such an arrogance to feel that I was above treatment, that I was above a program, that i wasnt one of "those people". But after thinking about it.... who was better? me: the Creator of destruction or a group of people that come together admit they truly do have an issue, and are trying to help themselves?
Yesterday I attended my first meeting, and I hope to look at it as the first day that changed my life. For the first time I showed humility, and stopped living in denial that everything else was leading to these issues I had with drinking besides drinking itself. I am posting this because I hope somebody can read this who is im my position and they can take a look at themself and realize that it is ok to want help, it is ok to admit you have an issue, and it is COMPLETELY ok to take that first step to do something about it. The meeting was great... and I am looking forward to going tonight and sharing pretty much exactly what I am saying right now. It has been a long process for me to admit I TRULY had a problem and that I CANNOT solve it with just me. I feel terrible for anyone who has to go through what many of us have, however at the end of the day after all the blame shifting and terrible feelings I realized how accountable I needed to become. Meeting 2 tonight, celebrating that because that is all I can do, and there is NOTHING wrong with that. I wish you all the best... being new to recovery is an opportunity in my life, not the burden I was thinking it would be.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 179
Trainspotting
So hold onto that thought so that you too will one day be able to
look back and reflect on the role your addiction played in
fulfilling your unique destiny. Because it's time to start making
some serious decisions where you need to choose: Die as an addict
and leave a life unfulfilled - OR - Choose Life (don't you love it
when he says that it the movie 'Trainspotting?') and all the
potential that holds.
So hold onto that thought so that you too will one day be able to
look back and reflect on the role your addiction played in
fulfilling your unique destiny. Because it's time to start making
some serious decisions where you need to choose: Die as an addict
and leave a life unfulfilled - OR - Choose Life (don't you love it
when he says that it the movie 'Trainspotting?') and all the
potential that holds.
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