Traaz

I am 37 years old & have been in a toxic (for the last few yrs anyway) relationship for 15 yrs. He is an alcoholic & a violent one at times. I need to break away, but he has been so much of my life, I just don't know how. I've been pretty isolated, due to not wanting my family & friends knowing how bad things got. I'm also pretty screwed financially without him.

Is there anyone who could maybe steer me in the direction of some help.

Thank u for taking the time to read.

2granddaughters

Hello Traaz:

Love Whitby !

Have you attended Al-Anon meetings in your area. They are in the phone book and would be a big help to you.
Lots of folks who have been right where you are.

All the best.

Bob R (near Windsor)

Threshold

Hi Traaz,

Rough situation, but it sounds like you are heading in the right direction. If you can do it safely, have a plan and a backup plan before you leave.

Check and see if your area has women's shelters, even before you leave him, talk to the people there because they can direct you to other resources in your area so even if you end up not going into their shelter, you'll be hooked up with lots of information.

Many areas also have phone hotlines where you can find out what help is available.

Don't count out your family yet. If they are solid people they may have some small idea of what your situation is, and if they love and care for you might be willing to offer support even if the situation has led to estrangement. You might be able to rekindle some of those relationships.

If you don't have any children, you might be able to secure a job someplace where housing is provided. I did that when my ex kicked me out and it was a LIFESAVER...to have a roof over my head and a job. I had 9,999 other worries, but at least safe shelter wasn't one of them.

big hugs. it's worth it to do what it takes to get to the other side.

fantail

I've been in abusive relationships and I know how hard it can be to admit to your family and friends what is happening. It feels like a betrayal to your partner, and it's embarrassing. But give them a chance to help you. Reach out and admit that you need support. I guarantee that once you let other people in things will become much clearer. You've aware that it's bad, but you probably won't even realize just how bad it is until you let down your walls and ask for help.

Dee74

Hi and welcome traaz.

I'm sorry for your situation, but there is a lot of help support and resources here.
I recommend you at least look at this link - you may find stuff in there to help.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...out-abuse.html

D

deeker

Forum in here called Friends and Family is good support for you, check it out.

Anna

Please take care of yourself and your safety. You don't need to stay in a violent situation.

Here is a link to a women's shelter in your city. They offer counselling and can help you to regroup and get on your feet.

Herizon House | The first step towards hope