Rennet

Hello everyone, I've been posting here on and off for a bit so I wanted to vent my story. Not sure if I shared it before.

I'm a binge drinking alcoholic and in the past year or so have entered the 'helpless' phase where it is impacting my life 24/7 in a very noticeable way. Drunk every night, hungover every morning, some days my body shakes it off better than others. I've had days where I'm puking consecutively, usually from the hangover but sometimes while drinking (it's good when it happens when I'm drinking liquor because then I pass out without all that in my gut and am usually not hungover).

At the same time I've had more success quitting lately, probably over 20 days sober in the past 4-5 months which is huge.. my past record was like 4 days in a row once or twice per year.

I've been drinking since I was 16. Binging since I dunno, 17 or 18. My family is mostly alcoholics I think, though I'm probably the worst. One is a partying alcoholic, another is probably a binger like me, lots of family history of it but not the life-destroying kind yet. For me some years ago it was a six pack each night then slowly its just whatever I want now. I'm 26. I've accepted my alcoholism and come to view it as a metabolism thing that I need to correct by quitting.

I left my job in June.. I did hate that job though. Afterwards I started working in self-employment and had some success. More recently I've started traveling the world pursuing a dream of mine, also self-employed. I have a ton of anxiety and self-doubt if I'm only doing this to feed the alcoholism. At the same time I needed to get away from my family as they are a huge trigger for me (we always drink around eachother). If I settle down it will have to be in a different state. I can probably do this another year or two until I'm flat broke but of course I'm working to establish an income for myself that I think is pretty reasonable. If I'm flat broke after a year and I've quit then it was worth it.

Anyway so here I am in some far off place by myself. It's either impossible to quit while traveling this way or it's the best possible time to quit (no obligations but to my own work, so if I'm agitated or stressed I can take a day off). I have the opportunity for the absolute dream life.. making a living traveling the world.. and I'm throwing it all away being a drunk.

I think treatment would help but it just isn't an option in my current situation since I don't have a home at the moment. So I've loaded up on goodies (supplements, vegetables and snacks etc) and will need this place too

So here's to day one. Hope to see you all on the other side.. sobriety

Gilmer

Welcome, Rennet.

Anna

Welcome!

I think it's the motivation behind your wanting to quit, rather than whether you are travelling or settled down somewhere. If you want to stop drinking, you can do it.

Grymt

The geographicals never really help in the end. Wherever you are you'll find that you are there. (paraphrasing Nietche (sic) or maybe Spike MIlligan), You can't run away from yourself. This is how it is. However all is not lost.
Wherever you are you will find fellow sufferers.
Any two getting together for sobriety is a AA meeting. That and the net is there to as help for you to partake of.
Have fun.

Rennet

I've heard this and it is very true, you're the same person everywhere, but I do believe living around my family is not healthy for me. My brothers in particular.. a lot of people just have to ditch their drinking friends. For me I can't do that, he is my brother. It's bad in a few ways, one I drink when I'm around them because they drink and it's just a trigger for me.. two, I think how can I ever quit with my family constantly showing up. It has made it very hard to get past two weeks of sobriety

I was inspired with a guy I worked with who made the geographical move work. He left his hometown and set up a real nice life for himself. He just had to put it behind him and start over.

I think once I'm more comfortable in my sobriety I'll be fine around them.. but I just need a long period of separation to get my life together

Grymt

Good on you, sounds good.

nomis

In the vernacular of alcoholics, you're trying the "geographical cure". I know it well, believe me. I lived in three different foreign countries and my drinking habits, did not get much better. In fact, in two of them those were my darkest drinking days.

Can't give you much advice other than what's worked so far for me. Gone home and surrounded myself with people that genuinely care about me. Moving away to distant places allowed me to isolate myself, and my addiction further, without having to deal with the consequences of my drinking on my loved ones.

RightLAine

Yay on day one...I'm day one as well....again. I am 28 years old and have been drinking off and on since I was 16. My mother was an alcoholic who died 2 years ago from acute liver failure. I have seen how ugly this disease can get. I binge drink as well. I have been sober for months at a time and I felt great so I dont know why I do this to myself....yesterday was supposed to be my day one but when I got home from work I took two shots...I feel good today and not hungover...I dont even know what the point of taking those 2 shots were it wasn't enough to do anything for me and it messed up my day 1!!!

Rennet

I know, that's a part of what I'm doing. I don't want to be the guy making excuses but I know there are other factors as well.. predominantly the low cost of living to get started professionally and I love experiencing new cultures and that inspires my work so its win win. If I went back home I couldn't afford to do this very long and would have to go back to a cubicle which makes me miserable

I'm fairly certain I would be doing this sober or drunk