Sally3127

I attend AA meetings regularly. I am going on 5 months sober (2nd time around). I like my home group but lately I feel like I'm not getting the message. The group I belong to long to is very big. There are a lot of a lot of people who attend this group. For example at tonight's Beginner's meeting we had to break off into 2 groups because of the size. And people are always getting up and walking out to go smoke or go to the bathroom or get coffee. It is distracting to me and sometimes I can't focus. Am I being selfish? I have tried looking for other meetings around town but because of my work schedule I can only make 6:00 p.m. meetings during the week. I don't get off until 5:00 and don't even get home until 5:30. Then I have to let my dogs out so I'm cutting it close to even make a 6:00 meeting. I'm just a little frustrated tonight. I think I just need to get out of my own way.

I'm also not feeling a connection with my sponsor. Ugh. Someone give me a reality check because I'm even making myself sick. LOL!

avocado

Do you feel like you need to go to meetings to stay sober, or do you feel you have other options?

sugarbear1

Can you try other meetings? Make a commitment to attend a specific number a week and then make that commitment? Have you worked the steps (program of recovery) yet?

coraltint

Sal, you're over 4 months clean, you have a sponsor & a home group, you're working hard to get to that home group....you're doing a lot of things well!! You are demonstrating that your sobriety means a lot to you. Give yourself some kudos!

I think sometimes when things have stabilized a little for me (stagnated,maybe...?) my disease will start telling me that this whole thing sux & I should just bag it and start using again. It knows when I'm vulnerable. My sponsor usually helps me plow through it by focusing on what's good in my program first, then working on the weak spots after.

tomsteve

selfish, yes, but in a good way. yer wanting to listen and it can be hard with distractions( 7+ years in and i still have problems with it).
i think ya may have given yerself the solution here:

"I think I just need to get out of my own way. "
i would suggest beign open with yer sponsor and teling her whats goin on in yer melon.

Stash

what are the positives to your meetings?

Sally3127

Thank you everyone for your comments. I've certainly gained some insight into how I'm feeling and what I need to do.

Stash, in answer to your question I think the most positive thing I take away from my meetings is a feeling of comfort. I know a lot of these people very well since I attended this group my first go round with AA for over a year. There is a lot of good at these meetings. But I also feel I know a lot of the stories too. I think I need to really try and branch out and not become too stagnate.

I also definitely need to talk to my sponsor about what I'm feeling. And I will. But in the meantime, I'm so glad you are all here.

My prayers tonight will be full of gratitude.

SophieB

Sal...try other meetings. I find it helpful to have a little variety. Different place different people. Meetings can be totally different depending on the group. In some their are kind of some unwritten rules about getting up to smoke, cell phones etc. with that stuff going on it can be distracting.

Not all are like that Talk with your sponsor.

tomsteve

branching out to other meetings is good. i got a wee bit stagnant myself. started gettin to different meetings was great for me. same problem and solution, but different views.