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scared I'd find a new addiction. .

Old 03-18-2013, 01:26 PM
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scared I'd find a new addiction. .

Still not totally convinced that I have an alcohol problem despite sittinghere drinking a whole bottle of neat vodka. However whay worries me is that I have a very addictive personality. So far I have tried eating disorders, cutting etc to deal with the way i feel. Currently it seems to be alcohol but it could be anything. ..what if next its drugs. ..
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:37 PM
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Get help, please. You are dealing with issues you can't think yourself out of, nor wish yourself out of. You need to find a way to make healthy choices in your life.
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:39 PM
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Is it normal to feel like you have to be the worst to get help. I remember feeling this way when I wwas throwing up several times a day. But my cousin was in therapy for with anorexia. .. I didn't want to take over. I see now I was sick
I figured it out with the help of a therapy.
I feel like I am not a good enough alcoholic to get help. ..like I need to get worse before I am worth getting help.
Does this seem weird?
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:42 PM
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You need professional help as soon as possible.
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:45 PM
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Originally Posted by bagpussgirl View Post
Is it normal to feel like you have to be the worst to get help. I remember feeling this way when I wwas throwing up several times a day. But my cousin was in therapy for with anorexia. .. I didn't want to take over. I see now I was sick
I figured it out with the help of a therapy.
I feel like I am not a good enough alcoholic to get help. ..like I need to get worse before I am worth getting help.
Does this seem weird?
It doesn't seem weird, alcohol takes away your logic at times. Even if you aren't an alcoholic drinking an entire bottle of vodka in one sitting is dangerous for you and everyone around you - including your children. Who is taking care of them right now?
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:45 PM
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It only has to be bad enough to make you want to quit.

Addiction is one of those things that thrives on isolation. So "getting help" of some sort--some kind of power other than your own--greatly increases your chances of success. It's part of the treatment, so to speak.

You don't have to ride the elevator all the way to the bottom. The bottom--the REAL bottom--is death. Anything short of that, well, you can always fall further. Personally, I think it makes little sense to prolong the suffering any longer than necessary.
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:45 PM
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That sounds like i am being so demanding !
The
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:45 PM
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Again, get some professional help. Unless all you want everyone here to do is say, "There, there, you're right"? That might not happen.....
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:49 PM
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There is just me and George this week. Hi hubby is away on business.
I love my son. Took him for a nice meal and this evening. Played in the casino. He's fine x
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Old 03-18-2013, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by bagpussgirl View Post
There is just me and George this week. Hi hubby is away on business.
I love my son. Took him for a nice meal and this evening. Played in the casino. He's fine x
I hate to be blunt, but if you just drank an entire bottle of vodka your son is not fine. What if he needs help and you cannot respond? What if you needed to drive him somewhere? What if you pass out or take another late night trip to buy more vodka drunk? Endangering your own safety is one thing but endangering the welfare of a minor ( your own child nonetheless ) is not "fine". In fact it's borderline criminal. Please call someone sober who can come be with you until your husband can return and safely take care of you and your family.
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:00 PM
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If you're drinking whole bottles of vodka neat while you're the sole adult responsible for a child I think pretty much anyone would agree you have a drinking problem.

It's not so much "weird" that you're waiting to get worse before you get help. To me it just sounds like you're in denial and don't really want to stop.
It will be hard to stop if you're not ready, but coming here to explore your options and get support is a great first step.

"Trying out" various addictions can be a cry for attention, and can also be incredibly dangerous. Sounds like you need to get to the root of the problem that makes you want to do these destructive things to your body. Does your family provide any support to you?
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:04 PM
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Please think about getting some help, for yours and your sons sake.

You can do this, you really can.
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:07 PM
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please get help. if there is a fire or other emergency, your young son is ill etc you've drunk a whole bottle of vodka and will be in no fit state to deal with it. you are in no fit state to look after a young child. please get help before something bad happens and social/family protection services get involved
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:08 PM
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My mum an alcoholic died sudden when I was 18...just. my dad died suddenly when last year of a heart attack. ...I am alone when my husband is away
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:12 PM
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There's a lot of folks here who have been where you are right now, and that is why we are worried about where you are headed. You might think things need to get worse before they get better, but we know things might just keep getting worse.

I guess it's night there now, but it's never too late to call for help. I recommend calling a crisis line--those folks love to help people who want to prevent a crisis.

We can see that you are reaching out for help. Now is the time to reach out and take hold of something.
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:13 PM
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I meant help for your drinking problem to try and stop this happening again so you are never in this situation again.trying to convince yourself you don't have a problem is dangerous-it will just get worse.I think you know you have a problem or wouldn't have found this site
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by bagpussgirl View Post
My mum an alcoholic died sudden when I was 18...just. my dad died suddenly when last year of a heart attack. ...I am alone when my husband is away
Then call your husband - perhaps he can return or call someone else he or you knows & trusts that can come over. I can guarantee that if you told him you just downed a whole bottle of vodka he'll be quick to respond. You are absolutely in no condition to be taking care of a child on your own in your current state.

Be strong for your son - you mentioned that you drug him out of bed the other day to go to the store to get more liquor...just remember how bad that made you feel when you were sober and posted about it. Please don't endanger his or your safety by trying that again.

Keep posting and reading here, that will keep your mind off the liquor until someone can come and watch after the both of you.
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:37 PM
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Get your phone book. Look up rehabs in your area, put phone to ear, dial number and wait for the person on the other end to pick up. After they pick up, tell them that you need help, a small child is involved and you would appreciate anything that they could provide.
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by bagpussgirl View Post
There is just me and George this week. Hi hubby is away on business.
I love my son. Took him for a nice meal and this evening. Played in the casino. He's fine x
Did you drive him under the influence. George? that would be a big problem right there.
People who are not alcoholics don't question whether or not they are. They just know they are not. Please try not to minimize it, if you are drinking that much vodka on a regular basis, your child is not fine.

Will you remember that you took him out to eat tomorrow when you wake up.
Only reason I am saying all this is because my son has been deeply scarred by my alcoholism and I thought he was just fine! x
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Old 03-18-2013, 02:50 PM
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Bags... I don't have parents either. Both passed by the time I was 25. My husband travels for work. I hve two kids to care for. I quit drinking when he was gone about 8 months ago. But i more than made ip for it when he was home on the weekends. Thank god my kids have each other, because there were times when I would drink and pass out by 7 pm. I would leave the front door unlocked, leave candles burning. Have started a fire in the fire put outside and passed out. The fear I instilled in my kids wasn't enough to keep me sober. The fear I put in my husband wasn't enough either. I hit a bottom that I never wanted to revisit.

Nothing physically serious happened. But I will not know how I emotionally scarred them. When I asked myself was it worth it? Eff no it wasn't! My alcohol consumption got to the point where I had no idea if it was going to be 2 or 8 drinks that brought me to yet another bottom.

What if I become addicted to drugs? Gambling? Sex? I can't foresee the future. I also can't tell you if I will live a happy prosperous sober life! But I do know that by seeking help, and putting one foot in front of the other, doing the next right thing, I hve a pretty good shot at a much better life than I was living.

Your post screams help me. If you truely don't want to be where you are right now, on this slippery slope, then call your husband, a friend, anyone!!!!!! Because that pint of vodka is not your friend and it certainly isn't making you a better mother. If you need to drag your son out of bed to get booze, then I think you know the answer to your question. Next time drag him to an aa meeting. It may be more beneficial!

Please, seek some support and help! Please!
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