jscorpio

I have 25 days sober. It's the longest I have been sober in my adult life. I am 49 years old and recently divorced. I live alone in a one bedroom apartment. I don't really have any friends and have severe anxiety so I don't go out unless I have to and can go days without any human interaction at all. I have a sister who checks in on me from time to time. She knows I am trying to quit drinking, but I don't get daily calls of encouragement or anything. I haven't worked in about three and a half years due to mental illness. I take very powerful drugs for my illness, but I have never told my doctors how much I drink. I know that drinking is only making things worse. I am committed to to remaining sober, but I feel like my support system is weak. Anybody else in a similar situation?

Dee74

I was when I quit, jscorpio.

I wasn't divorced but I was alone, I lived in a one bedroom apartment. I didn't have any real friends, just drinking buddies who I couldn't see anymore.

I had social anxiety and I regularly went days without any human interaction at all. I had a sister who check on me weekly too, and I hadn't worked for several years due to physical issues.

A few things helped me.

One was volunteering. Its a great low stress way to get involved in something, get out of the house and to start to interact with people again.

Counselling helped me too - there were things I needed to sort out that I just couldn't on my own...I had no idea where to begin and more to the point I lacked the perspective that an outside might have.

If you feel your support system is weak you could do worse than investigate AA or SMART or something similar.

If your social anxiety is bad, maybe an online meeting is the way to go?

D

avocado

well, at least you have this site. I'm kind of a 'go-it-alone' person and other than just mentioning it to friends, I don't have anyone to talk with either. Have you thought of seeing a therapist or attending meeting, like AA or SMART or something along those lines?

jscorpio

I just started seeing a counselor recently. I haven't mentioned my drinking to him either. I'm hoping I can remain sober and make drinking a none issue. I don't think AA is for me, I have tried that route before and didn't have much success. I know that coming to SR is a good start.

trachemys

You aren't alone anymore. Welcome to the lifeboat. Grab an oar and we'll pull together.

Patsy22

Well done for reaching out!
I am alone too, my partner died of alcoholic liver failure in January and his family and friends have blamed me (unfair because the damage was done long before I knew him, but I guess they need someone to blame). I drink myself and am worried I may end up in the same way if I can't sort things out but I don't really have much social or family support and I haven't worked for some time. Lately I have been volunteering at a local charity shop and I would thoroughly recommend this. It forces you into a routine again and you will make new friends and find people to chat to who will be supportive. Some times I haven't wanted to bother to go there but I know when I do it is stopping me moping at home. Go for it.

Dee74

I found it important to mention jscorpio.

I realise it's embarrassing, but I went in with the idea if I wasn't willing to be honest with a counsellor there was probably not a lot of point in me being there.

It was a major part of who I was and a great insight in to the way I deal with problems - it needed to be discussed and examined IMO.

D

hypochondriac

Yup my situation was similar. No one except the people here knew my real situation, oh and my doctor. This place really helped. I posted daily in the Class of March thread and just hung around reading posts a lot. I found if I didn't I started to feel like I was the only person who couldn't drink. After a few months sober I told my family and after 3 months I felt like I needed more face to face support so I went to AA. I think support has to come from the right places and even if you weren't living alone you might find you had the same issues. Not everyone has a supportive partner or family. For myself support from other alcoholics was vital, and I am sure that other people would have found the same. Keep posting here x

DAB

I would try a few different AA meetings if I were you, they are all a little different. I am an extreme introvert, I also have anxiety around people I don't know. I found a meeting that was perfect for me, a very small group of great people, each one with decades of sobriety. I have learned so much from them and continue to make progress with my sobriety and spirituality.

Anna

I hope that you are open and honest with your counsellor, too. You will get much more out of the sessions if you are honest.

And, SR is a great lifeline. Have you thought about doing some kind of volunteer work? That was what helped me so much and as Dee said, it was a low-stress way for me to interact with wonderful people.

Aborigine

Even in a house full of people I feel alone. I've decided it's time to pick up on some of the hobbies I let go of to make room for drinking and recovering from drinking, like fixing things for other people and sewing. I hope you find a past time you enjoy, there are groups for every interest you could dream of online.

debsam

Welcome.

I think support from all of us here at SR and honest sessions with your councellor would be a great start.

i know I felt such relief when I could finally be honest about the real struggle I was trying to handle on my own for far too long.

jscorpio

Thank you all for responding. I will consider your suggestions.

quitforme79

I live far from my family & friends. When I quit I was isolated too. But I've met some great people in AA & they are very supportive. We are here for you

miamifella

Weirdly, when I was in AA and other fellowships I feel I learned that ultimately we all do this alone. AA was more a check in (my sponsor wanted me to leave a vm daily) than anything else. I had to open up to loved ones to get support and encouragement.

But ultimately it was on me, (with help from a clinical psychologist who himself is in recovery.)

Threshold

Wow, this just jumped out at me!

Yup, I really really really wanted to make drinking a none issue. And I have mostly acheived that. It's taken 4 yrs of recovery, and one yr sober to get to this place. But in the early days...drinking was an issue. WHY I drank, was an issues. The person inside that I was trying to placate with booze, was a HUGE issue and made all sorts of noise and protest when I stopped.

Being honest and addressing the whole issue of drinking is what made it a non issue.

I applaud your clean time! awesome, not drinking is the first step to making it a non issue.

Growing into a person who does not feel the need to drink to face life, is a pretty good second step. There are many ways of doing that.

Since you have a therapist, and pay a therapist and make the time and effort to go see the therapist..why not share this with the therapist? I mean, therapy is a good place to address issues, so they can become non issues.

Have you looked into AVRT? It's a recovery method that is all about making drinking a non issue.

ReadyAtLast

I am a very private person and didn't want to discuss my drinking with anyone,except on SR. Recently I visited my doc (3 months sober)and told him everything. Surprisingly, I felt unburdened and it helped more than I could have imagined and I've been referred for counselling too,something Ithought I'd never do. I hope you gain something from being honest with your counsellor