Some positives please
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 18
Some positives please
So I have posted in here a few times since I joined back in January. Since then have been on and off the wine still unable to decide if Sober Living is for me. What I would like to know is what keeps you all sober? What are the benefits and positives you get out of a sober lifestyle? Would you regard it as better than the lifestyle of a person who drinks 4 - 5 glasses of wine on a nightly basis? If so then why?
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I drank a bottle of wine a night and then some.
I quit 3 months ago and the positives are:
Better sleep
Lost weight
Clearer skin
Redness reduced
Facial puffiness gone
Brighter eyes
Backache and tension gone
Anxiety almost gone
No longer full of fears about the future
No longer full of regrets about the past
No longer plagued with resentments
No longer full of shame
No longer full of fear about what I did or said the night before
I always remember the night before
My life is peaceful
I have peace of mind
My anger has reduced
I can drive any time of the day or night
I no longer fear getting pulled over and being over the limitfrom the night before
I am a better mum,wife and person generally
Negatives
For the first time in my life I am facing my demons/emotions/feelings without drowning them in drink but that is not necessarily a bad thing
Life isn't perfect but it wasn't perfect before and it's a hell of a lot better than it was
I quit 3 months ago and the positives are:
Better sleep
Lost weight
Clearer skin
Redness reduced
Facial puffiness gone
Brighter eyes
Backache and tension gone
Anxiety almost gone
No longer full of fears about the future
No longer full of regrets about the past
No longer plagued with resentments
No longer full of shame
No longer full of fear about what I did or said the night before
I always remember the night before
My life is peaceful
I have peace of mind
My anger has reduced
I can drive any time of the day or night
I no longer fear getting pulled over and being over the limitfrom the night before
I am a better mum,wife and person generally
Negatives
For the first time in my life I am facing my demons/emotions/feelings without drowning them in drink but that is not necessarily a bad thing
Life isn't perfect but it wasn't perfect before and it's a hell of a lot better than it was
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 100
Take a look at all the negatives you face daily because of drinking. I know having a few every night doesn't seem like it does much damage but we all know that's a lie we tell ourselves. When you take time away from alcohol you open up your life to different possibilities.
Positives.
1. Better relationship and communication with my boyfriend.
2. I have more money now.
3. There's no more violence in my life.
4. I have great support from family and friends.
5. My complexion is fabulous lol
6. I'm not sick every morning or all day.
7. I don't wake up feeling worried or anxious wondering if I did something wrong the night before.
8. I can express myself with ease now.
9. I don't need alcohol to help me feel better or relaxed at the end of the day anymore.
10. I sleep a heck of a lot better.
11. I have confidence in myself.
12. I'm happier
13. I'm healthier.
I've been sober for almost four months. I've experienced more happiness and love in these four months than I ever did with all my years of drinking.
I hope this helps.
I wish u nothing but the best.
Positives.
1. Better relationship and communication with my boyfriend.
2. I have more money now.
3. There's no more violence in my life.
4. I have great support from family and friends.
5. My complexion is fabulous lol
6. I'm not sick every morning or all day.
7. I don't wake up feeling worried or anxious wondering if I did something wrong the night before.
8. I can express myself with ease now.
9. I don't need alcohol to help me feel better or relaxed at the end of the day anymore.
10. I sleep a heck of a lot better.
11. I have confidence in myself.
12. I'm happier
13. I'm healthier.
I've been sober for almost four months. I've experienced more happiness and love in these four months than I ever did with all my years of drinking.
I hope this helps.
I wish u nothing but the best.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 46
Dear Seeking- I like you, like many, searched high and low to answer that very question as I did not want to be the "sober" girl. I've lived a pretty wild life and at 31, settling down with a few glasses of wine at night became habit.
A bottle a week. Then two. Then skip to now where I could often drink a bottle at night and my anxiety & panic attacks have gotten out of hand (alcohol was not the cause originally but now often is).
I realised today I no longer care about being the sober girl. I'm at the point I am ready to seek help and do this. This is a revelation for me. I know IN MY OWN HEART that drinking isn't helping me. Well at times it has eased anxiety, relaxed me, helped me sleep etc but I see now Ive just been masking the issues. And the truth for me is; when I stop; Im going to need to deal with the core issues.
Can you take it or leave it? Are you gradually increasing your use? Do you feel like crap afterwards and say never again? Are you spending time worrying about it? Are you scared off not coping as well without it?
For me, the answers to all those questions was yes. And that for me is enough reason to consider that sobriety may be a blessing not a prison sentence. But it has taken me a lot of time to realise this. Take your time and follow your heart. Maybe try not drinking for a bit- if nothing is stopping you?
And see how you feel- you can always go back after a few months if not. That thought alone always incited panic in me. I could not imagine it as I was caught up in addiction. I am not sober right now as I am concerned about withdrawal/ heightened anxiety so seeing my dr this week to get started in case I need help.
But I have no illusions as to the benefits of drinking anymore and that's what I did not have previously.
Good luck xxx
A bottle a week. Then two. Then skip to now where I could often drink a bottle at night and my anxiety & panic attacks have gotten out of hand (alcohol was not the cause originally but now often is).
I realised today I no longer care about being the sober girl. I'm at the point I am ready to seek help and do this. This is a revelation for me. I know IN MY OWN HEART that drinking isn't helping me. Well at times it has eased anxiety, relaxed me, helped me sleep etc but I see now Ive just been masking the issues. And the truth for me is; when I stop; Im going to need to deal with the core issues.
Can you take it or leave it? Are you gradually increasing your use? Do you feel like crap afterwards and say never again? Are you spending time worrying about it? Are you scared off not coping as well without it?
For me, the answers to all those questions was yes. And that for me is enough reason to consider that sobriety may be a blessing not a prison sentence. But it has taken me a lot of time to realise this. Take your time and follow your heart. Maybe try not drinking for a bit- if nothing is stopping you?
And see how you feel- you can always go back after a few months if not. That thought alone always incited panic in me. I could not imagine it as I was caught up in addiction. I am not sober right now as I am concerned about withdrawal/ heightened anxiety so seeing my dr this week to get started in case I need help.
But I have no illusions as to the benefits of drinking anymore and that's what I did not have previously.
Good luck xxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 26
My wife is 50 days sober today and the benefits are a person in touch with her emotions, being once again the kind caring wonderful person whom I married, better sleep, less anxiety, and a renewal of hope for our future. Also she looks healthy again, has resumed exercising, and enjoys life. Add to this that I again enjoy being witth her, something that I had lost for two years. All in all, we have just returned from a visit to hell. Why would anyone want to go back?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
When I stopped drinking,
I remember yesterday, I know today and I got some hope for tomorrow.
If I kept drinking, I would not know yesterday, I would not remember today and tomorrow would have been another hopeless obstacle.
I remember yesterday, I know today and I got some hope for tomorrow.
If I kept drinking, I would not know yesterday, I would not remember today and tomorrow would have been another hopeless obstacle.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by seekinga 
Would you regard it as better than the lifestyle of a person who drinks 4 - 5 glasses of wine on a nightly basis? If so then why?
That's what we all did. Time to rationalize being sober. You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Definitely, definitely, what Stash, Part of My Journey, and Ready at Last have said.
For me, it is about not having to do the daily crawl through the hallways of my mind l upon waking or coming to after passing out and having to take "inventory."
1. Email: who did I write? What did I say?
2. Facebook: what kind of crazy ass sh*t that I thought was SO BRILLIANT the night before when I was smashed and I posted as my status that I now am afraid to look at? And who has seen it?
3. Phone (I wasn't much of a drunk dialer but the possibility always existed I had tortured someone in the middle of the night with one of my boozed up or crying jags)
4. Body: Anything broken? What hurts besides my head? Scrapes, bruises? (this inventory continued in the shower if I had the energy to make it there).
5. How many swigs of antacid or Tums or whatever is it going to take to get my stomach to feel even remotely normal enough to eat food today?
6. How much makeup is it going to take to cover the redness in my face? How many eyedrops to get rid of the Bloodhound (boozehound) look? How do I get rid of the swelling enough to get my rings/watch on?
7. Am I still too drunk to drive? (Answer was usually yes but did it anyway).
8. Where's my car?
and, towards the end on a few occasions (a few too many):
9. Who the hell is this person in my bed?!
I drank a 4-6 glasses of wine a night too for a long time. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I went through the above after many 4-6 glass nights. Maybe you're not that bad...but as others have said, it is a slippery, slippery slope.
So, for me, the most positive is that I have no more inventory to do in the morning. The 30-60 minutes that inventory took is now 30-60 minutes of my life I have back to do other things. It makes my heart heavy to consider how many of those 30-60 minutes I have lost doing that ridiculous inventory over the past 5-7 years.
Oh, and that horrible sinking feeling you have in your stomach when you wake up and don't know what happened the night before or have only the haziest of recollections?
Gone.
THAT, I think, is my favorite. I never, ever want that feeling again.
Good on you for posting that question, made me think. Thank you!
For me, it is about not having to do the daily crawl through the hallways of my mind l upon waking or coming to after passing out and having to take "inventory."
1. Email: who did I write? What did I say?
2. Facebook: what kind of crazy ass sh*t that I thought was SO BRILLIANT the night before when I was smashed and I posted as my status that I now am afraid to look at? And who has seen it?
3. Phone (I wasn't much of a drunk dialer but the possibility always existed I had tortured someone in the middle of the night with one of my boozed up or crying jags)
4. Body: Anything broken? What hurts besides my head? Scrapes, bruises? (this inventory continued in the shower if I had the energy to make it there).
5. How many swigs of antacid or Tums or whatever is it going to take to get my stomach to feel even remotely normal enough to eat food today?
6. How much makeup is it going to take to cover the redness in my face? How many eyedrops to get rid of the Bloodhound (boozehound) look? How do I get rid of the swelling enough to get my rings/watch on?
7. Am I still too drunk to drive? (Answer was usually yes but did it anyway).
8. Where's my car?
and, towards the end on a few occasions (a few too many):
9. Who the hell is this person in my bed?!
I drank a 4-6 glasses of wine a night too for a long time. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I went through the above after many 4-6 glass nights. Maybe you're not that bad...but as others have said, it is a slippery, slippery slope.
So, for me, the most positive is that I have no more inventory to do in the morning. The 30-60 minutes that inventory took is now 30-60 minutes of my life I have back to do other things. It makes my heart heavy to consider how many of those 30-60 minutes I have lost doing that ridiculous inventory over the past 5-7 years.
Oh, and that horrible sinking feeling you have in your stomach when you wake up and don't know what happened the night before or have only the haziest of recollections?
Gone.
THAT, I think, is my favorite. I never, ever want that feeling again.
Good on you for posting that question, made me think. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
Originally Posted by Ptcapote
Definitely, definitely, what Stash, Part of My Journey, and Ready at Last have said.
For me, it is about not having to do the daily crawl through the hallways of my mind l upon waking or coming to after passing out and having to take "inventory."
1. Email: who did I write? What did I say?
2. Facebook: what kind of crazy ass sh*t that I thought was SO BRILLIANT the night before when I was smashed and I posted as my status that I now am afraid to look at? And who has seen it?
3. Phone (I wasn't much of a drunk dialer but the possibility always existed I had tortured someone in the middle of the night with one of my boozed up or crying jags)
4. Body: Anything broken? What hurts besides my head? Scrapes, bruises? (this inventory continued in the shower if I had the energy to make it there).
5. How many swigs of antacid or Tums or whatever is it going to take to get my stomach to feel even remotely normal enough to eat food today?
6. How much makeup is it going to take to cover the redness in my face? How many eyedrops to get rid of the Bloodhound (boozehound) look? How do I get rid of the swelling enough to get my rings/watch on?
7. Am I still too drunk to drive? (Answer was usually yes but did it anyway).
8. Where's my car?
and, towards the end on a few occasions (a few too many):
9. Who the hell is this person in my bed?!
I drank a 4-6 glasses of wine a night too for a long time. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I went through the above after many 4-6 glass nights. Maybe you're not that bad...but as others have said, it is a slippery, slippery slope.
So, for me, the most positive is that I have no more inventory to do in the morning. The 30-60 minutes that inventory took is now 30-60 minutes of my life I have back to do other things. It makes my heart heavy to consider how many of those 30-60 minutes I have lost doing that ridiculous inventory over the past 5-7 years.
Oh, and that horrible sinking feeling you have in your stomach when you wake up and don't know what happened the night before or have only the haziest of recollections?
Gone.
THAT, I think, is my favorite. I never, ever want that feeling again.
Good on you for posting that question, made me think. Thank you!
For me, it is about not having to do the daily crawl through the hallways of my mind l upon waking or coming to after passing out and having to take "inventory."
1. Email: who did I write? What did I say?
2. Facebook: what kind of crazy ass sh*t that I thought was SO BRILLIANT the night before when I was smashed and I posted as my status that I now am afraid to look at? And who has seen it?
3. Phone (I wasn't much of a drunk dialer but the possibility always existed I had tortured someone in the middle of the night with one of my boozed up or crying jags)
4. Body: Anything broken? What hurts besides my head? Scrapes, bruises? (this inventory continued in the shower if I had the energy to make it there).
5. How many swigs of antacid or Tums or whatever is it going to take to get my stomach to feel even remotely normal enough to eat food today?
6. How much makeup is it going to take to cover the redness in my face? How many eyedrops to get rid of the Bloodhound (boozehound) look? How do I get rid of the swelling enough to get my rings/watch on?
7. Am I still too drunk to drive? (Answer was usually yes but did it anyway).
8. Where's my car?
and, towards the end on a few occasions (a few too many):
9. Who the hell is this person in my bed?!
I drank a 4-6 glasses of wine a night too for a long time. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but I went through the above after many 4-6 glass nights. Maybe you're not that bad...but as others have said, it is a slippery, slippery slope.
So, for me, the most positive is that I have no more inventory to do in the morning. The 30-60 minutes that inventory took is now 30-60 minutes of my life I have back to do other things. It makes my heart heavy to consider how many of those 30-60 minutes I have lost doing that ridiculous inventory over the past 5-7 years.
Oh, and that horrible sinking feeling you have in your stomach when you wake up and don't know what happened the night before or have only the haziest of recollections?
Gone.
THAT, I think, is my favorite. I never, ever want that feeling again.
Good on you for posting that question, made me think. Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Oh, and one more: not having to make up excuses anymore! That part is also awesome.
This is going to sound awful---and it is---but my drinking figuratively killed off more of my relatives than the plague. I was attending a "funeral" every month or two. Pets, friends, etc. They all were dead or injured because I was too drunk or hungover to go to work and needed a fittingly dramatic excuse.
And the ones I made up about my health? Phss....
A colleague said to me last week, "You seem to have gotten your migraines under control...you haven't called out with one in over a month!"
("Migraines" )
Excuse free living? Good stuff.
This is going to sound awful---and it is---but my drinking figuratively killed off more of my relatives than the plague. I was attending a "funeral" every month or two. Pets, friends, etc. They all were dead or injured because I was too drunk or hungover to go to work and needed a fittingly dramatic excuse.
And the ones I made up about my health? Phss....
A colleague said to me last week, "You seem to have gotten your migraines under control...you haven't called out with one in over a month!"
("Migraines"
)Excuse free living? Good stuff.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
Pt , you are a sure smile every time. ☺
I'm all bout the non furry tongue peps. !!!
That is awesome. As someone said above , not being angry or short with people.
And when you laugh , you really laugh. Listen : it sounds different to drunken laughter.
My skin has **** itself. But my naturopath friend tells me yr skin is an organ like yr liver and will show up what's going on in yr body. It will show up the detoxing process. But ! Puffy face gone. Awesome ! Better way for the zits to stand out !
But honestly that puffy face is horrid and we don't even realise its not there till its not there !!!! Clear head , able to brush teeth without puking. Choice. X
I'm all bout the non furry tongue peps. !!!
That is awesome. As someone said above , not being angry or short with people.
And when you laugh , you really laugh. Listen : it sounds different to drunken laughter.
My skin has **** itself. But my naturopath friend tells me yr skin is an organ like yr liver and will show up what's going on in yr body. It will show up the detoxing process. But ! Puffy face gone. Awesome ! Better way for the zits to stand out !
But honestly that puffy face is horrid and we don't even realise its not there till its not there !!!! Clear head , able to brush teeth without puking. Choice. X
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by Ptcapote
Oh, and one more: not having to make up excuses anymore! That part is also awesome.
This is going to sound awful---and it is---but my drinking figuratively killed off more of my relatives than the plague. I was attending a "funeral" every month or two. Pets, friends, etc. They all were dead or injured because I was too drunk or hungover to go to work and needed a fittingly dramatic excuse.
And the ones I made up about my health? Phss....
A colleague said to me last week, "You seem to have gotten your migraines under control...you haven't called out with one in over a month!"
("Migraines" )
Excuse free living? Good stuff.
This is going to sound awful---and it is---but my drinking figuratively killed off more of my relatives than the plague. I was attending a "funeral" every month or two. Pets, friends, etc. They all were dead or injured because I was too drunk or hungover to go to work and needed a fittingly dramatic excuse.
And the ones I made up about my health? Phss....
A colleague said to me last week, "You seem to have gotten your migraines under control...you haven't called out with one in over a month!"
("Migraines"
)Excuse free living? Good stuff.
Ha I love this
Ah the old migraine excuse-a favourite of mine
Had never thought of the funeral one
Recovering
Join Date: May 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,361
Hi Seekinga
There are some great replies above. If I were to sum up my experience, it is that I have found a very deep peace at the heart of my sober life. I used to hate the idea of a sober life, but now I really couldn't bear the thought of losing my sober life and the loss of that peace that I have.
There are some great replies above. If I were to sum up my experience, it is that I have found a very deep peace at the heart of my sober life. I used to hate the idea of a sober life, but now I really couldn't bear the thought of losing my sober life and the loss of that peace that I have.
Not Alone
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: South East UK
Posts: 1,513
I get told I'm a good person. That kinda made it all worth while for me when I was feeling down. I kinda just sat there with my feelings and realised that I can be a good person. I suffer with negative self-esteem and this was just something that picked me up. There are other factors such as:
Better relationships with my family
Being able to do stuff I could never do, like have a healthy savings account.
Make realistic plans for the future. etc.
Natom.
Better relationships with my family
Being able to do stuff I could never do, like have a healthy savings account.
Make realistic plans for the future. etc.
Natom.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
