gwenny

Hi all--I have been lurking these forums for a while and just want to thank all of you for creating this amazing resource and community. I am on day 2 sober after a very rough relapse that came after 3 months of sobriety, and am for the first time I am having some nasty withdrawal symptoms which are really screaming to me that things have progressed to the point where it is time to quit kidding around and make getting well my first priority, and I have fully committed to that.

I am leaving tomorrow for a nice relaxing spring break holiday which presents a few problems, first that I have never flown sober and am terrified by the prospect, as I am a very anxious flyer. Once I get there, too, I know there will be no shortage of triggers--romantic dinners with the fairly new boyfriend who doesn't know what a problem drinker I am, sunny patios by the water, etc. It's hard to imagine craving any booze while I'm still feeling completely ravaged by this last bender, but I know myself and this disease well enough to know these are big challenges coming up. If anyone has been there, I'd love to hear your thoughts. And a huge thank you again to all of you here for sharing your stories, they really saved me this week.

Dee74

Hi gwenny

It sounds like a big ask to me - especially when your boyfriend doesn't know the extent of your problem.

If you'd asked with a little more time I would have advised you not to go.

I still do - day 2 is very very early - but I realise thats probably not an option.

Being honest with your boyfriend would help, but I guess you have your reasons for not wanting to broach that yet.

I'd advice AA meetings too but again I realise thats probably not an option if you're trying to be discreet.

You've really made a hard thing that much harder for yourself.

I still believe you can do it tho.

I guess the only thing you can do is think up an excuse for why you're not drinking and stick to it?

D

gwenny

Hi Dee--thanks so much. I scheduled the trip long before this relapse happened and have been looking forward to it forever. It's sort of a make-or-break trip with the bf; we have only been dating a few months and I have been sober for most of that time, so I don't anticipate a lot of drinking expectation or pressure from him, and he's really not a drinker at all which is also helpful. But still plenty of challenges remaining, for sure.

deeker

Gonna bring your laptop? Check in often and ask for help. I'll talk you out of a drink. Here's a few good reminders why you may not want to drink. Try not to forget what alcohol really did for us.!

We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.

We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.

We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.

We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.

We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.

We drank to make our conversation easier and we slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.

We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.

We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.

Did that help?

gwenny

Thanks Deeker. <3 That's a brutally true and helpful list that is getting printed out and tucked in bag as we speak.

coffeetogo

It helped me!!! Thank you

coffeetogo

Check in here often. You'll get support that will help you through this.

Anna

I wouldn't be going. I couldn't be around alcohol for quite a long time when I stopped drinking. It just didn't work for me. And, if this is a 'make or break' trip with your boyfriend, it seems like a good idea to be honest with him. Relationships can't be built on deception and this could be the time to come clean with him.

quitforme79

I agree that it would be most helpful for you to be honest with him. As far as not drinking on the trip...connect any way you can with nature. I don't know where you are going but plan day trips that are fun, wear you out and rest up at night.

gwenny

Thanks to you all.

Ptcapote

Hey qwenny, I feel you on that one for sure. I travel a lot (more for work than vacay) but it is by far the most challenging thing to my sobriety. My last relapse was while traveling and I would love to give myself another few months before hitting the road again but I don't have much choice in the matter either.

Others here have given you good advice but I am going to second Deeker's...if you can bring a laptop and check in here once or twice a day, that will help. That's what I did to pull myself back out of it last time and what I am planning to do again when I go back out next month (in addition to AA recordings that I can listen to although that might not be an option for you if you haven't told the BF).

This site is a port in the storm...even if the storm might occur on a sunny island while on a romantic vacation Good luck and check in as often as you can if you need it.

gwenny

Thanks so much Ptcapote. AA recordings actually might be great especially for the flying part, when I know I'll desparately want to drink. Are there good podcasts I could download that you know of offhand?

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

Dee, as usual gave some great advice.

As far as podcasts go, just log onto iTunes and search for Alcoholics Anonymous, and you will find hours of great content. There are Podcasts, apps, speaker talks and books. Check it out.

gwenny

Fantastic--thanks!!!