lettingonow

Greetings all, Ive been trolling the forum and reading much great advice.

Its so comforting to hear others that are feeling the same way. Pretty much inside.

I've gotten a lot of good advice already and am coming here when I really feel like I can't stand one more minute of the pain and frustration. Its nice to be in good company although I don't wish this experience on anyone.

My first and burning question is; How do you interact with an alcoholic you are distancing yourself from? How do you hide the utter heartbreak and a shattered heart when you have to see them every day, how do you keep that out of voice and stay calm. I have sever anxiety when I have to deal with these people, unfortunately I have more than one. To the point that I start to tremble and feel sick to my stomach, my ears ring and I can't think straight.

I desperately need some tips on this. Its draining my energy me and I need some relief.

~LG

italiungrl

I am living with my just moved to "EXAB status" because we are in a lease.

What I have found works for me is even though Im physically still here I have moved on, I don't worry about how much he drinks any more nor do I bring it up

I mind my own business and read a lot on here.

Of course we have a 3 floor house very big so hes on one floor living me another. I think he even likes it, because no one is watching or judging what he drinks.

Its hard to dis engage and disconnect but its the only way ,I shall keep my sanity .

Worry about my own

I don't have any answers about how to stay in a relationship with one and live it, I failed at it , didnt want it, Im on the outside deciding not to look in anymore.
Before it devoured me.

kiki26

I am only a month into my sobriety. I explained to people close to me that I was quitting and would not be able to be around drinking. I've extended an invitation to two close friends to come to aa with me. They both declined. But I have to be selfish right now and focus on me. No one could talk me into quitting, so feeling guilty wont do anyone any good. My advice would be to take care of yourself. Be kind and patient. And know if they decide to quit you will be there 100%.

sugarbear1

hugs

We also have a Friends and Family Forum, scroll down!

Hevyn

Welcome lettingonow. I'm sure you'll find some helpful answers here - from people who've been through the same thing. Our Friends & Family Forum is great, with many wise people.

You might also want to consider Al-Anon meetings.

We're happy you've joined us.

Hevyn

oops - sugarbear already mentioned the F&F Forum.

Natom

Hi,

Welcome to the forums. I'd just echo what other people have said. Try to detatch yourself from the people you have to be in contact with. I wish you the best of luck in your recovery journey.

Natom.

lettingonow

Thanks guys I appreciate it. I have a lot to learn about detachment. My situation is I live next to the alchoholics. They say they are "not drinking" yet I see beer cans laying around when I've visited, which is not much.

I want to be there for them if the are truly trying to get better but I can't trust that they are being honest with me. Its so frustrating. Detaching has been extroadinarily difficult. I was obsessed with them for quite some time. I have been going to Al Anon and its gotten a little better.

LG

Mizzuno

Good morning.. Maybe, these people are not being honest with you. Its not personal. Its their own problems. Do what you need to do to stay centered and grounded within yourself. You are loved and you have support. Al anon has helped a little. It may help a lot, the more that you learn, and when you implement the tools in your life.

Grymt

It's a path to walk forward on. It'll keep getting better, imo.
Or perhaps getting better at getting better gets better.
Do what works.
Peace.

Stash

" Let Go And Let God"
so many of my friends wanted me to stop drinking for a long time. I didnt listen to them and I allowed myself to experience some horrible things because of alcohol.
you should let them know how you"re feeling about it and go from there. If theyre ready to sober up they will. you have to give them time. also take some time for yourself and do things with new people...

lettingonow

I will try. Thank you