Redvelvetcake59

I know all of you have had someone ask you this question, but I just about have gotten to my last sympathetic gesture when it comes to my brother. I am reaching out for someone who may have had this experience dealing with a hard core user or long term or whatever terminology you guys use.

Over the years I tried everything including enabling and nothing worked. He is never sober, our last encounter with the family included was Christmas and it was a disaster. Everybody else still tries to help him, give him things, play telephone games pretending that nothing is wrong, but I do not have the stomach for it anymore. No judgement....its just that for some reason, I got up on my birthday and first thing I got was a call from my brother because guess what....its his birthday too and we are not twins, just born on the same day...go figure. Anyway, this call came in from him and he was the worst I have ever heard him to be. He cussed me out, called me names, screamed and ranted and raved like a teen. I had never experienced anything like it before.

Once he finished, he remembered why he called. He wanted all the presents, money, gifts and things I had purchased for our birthday. Well, as sad as this is....that was February 21 and all those things have been placed in a box that a date was drawn on and nobody has touched it since. I know as old as I am I should have some idea how to communicate since I work in law enforcement and deal with these types everyday....however that is work and this is my brother.....and believe me, if there are any officers on this site, you know that it does not work out the same way. I need some advice and I am willing to listen to everybody.

sugarbear1

Have you considered Al Anon? You can search for it online, too!

You need to focus on you, no matter how much it hurts.

Until he's ready, there isn't much you can do.

Big hugs,
~SB