Nixipixi

Well, im 24 years old and clean for a year and 2 months, which im really proud of and really can thank my guardian angel and higher power for still being alive today!! But although im very grateful to still be alive, i wonder why my health just kept deteriorating, I have a predisposition of some sort but it really is very depressing knowing that while in recovery and doing everything right, my liver decided to stop healing and is now going hard, which causes the problem of eosphugul varices veins. 1 operation and 2 more to go and then heaven knows what next.... I feel like ive lost quality of life and i have to think before I do, eat or drink anything and all the meds im on from my dibilitating addiction dont help the ulcers in my stomach either... I cannot just do what im passionate about because things like flight attendant, paramedic, nursing and the like all require medical exams or strength which I do not have! To be scared of when the next time i'll be throwing up copeous amounts of blood, To be told by your doctor that this is the situation and that I can bleed to death at any second, or just fall over and die, might not be able to bear children and that I will never get better, only worse, but stable if I live a healthy lifestyle is devastating after having gone through so much already

The thing is, I can choose to give up and feel sorry for myself, i can say screw the world and i can blame until im blue in the face, but the reality is that it wont make any of this go away, so i choose to stand tall and make something out of my life, to prove people wrong, but mostly to prove to MYSELF that I can become anything I dream of with determination and strength, and that is what this whole journey has made me- STRONG AND DETERMINED!! I will not back down and I will not give up. I only have myself to blame for my mistakes and bad choices, and I take full responsibility! There is no undoing or changing the past and to wallow over your past regrets will bring you down. As addicts, we are required to be stronger and braver than most others, because our disease is so cunning, baffling and powerful! With God by my side, I will get through the hard times, I will find the strength and push through, no matter the obstacles....:rotfxko

My name is Niquita, im 24 years old and im a grateful recovering alcoholic, nothing will stop me, I am braver and stronger than I think!

DO ONE THING EVERYDAY THAT SCARES YOU!

Dee74

sounds great to me Niquita


really glad you've joined us

D

Grymt

Thank, you, Niquita.

Stash

Odelle

Hi Niquita, welcome to SR. Congratulations in maintaining your sobriety in the midst of your ongoing physical challenges. I am sorry to read of your prognosis; it must be very frustrating for you, being of such a very young age. I remembered a true story of a woman who was on death’s door due to cirrhosis and related physical ailments. It was posted on another site that I like to visit and I have attached it for you read. The link posted summarizes her update in 2009. To read her original story, click on the link to Valerie’s Story in the 2nd paragraph. Liver Disease Survivor - Valerie Describes Her Journey as a Liver Disease Survivor

I think you will find some true inspiration, hope, strength and encouragement from Valerie’s story.

May God bless you, today and always!

Saliena

Thank you for sharing! Seems like you have gained much wisdom in your time is soberity!

mecanix

Thanks Niquita ,
you're an inspiration ,

Bestwishes, M