RightLAine

Well I made it through day 1 yesterday and I feel great today...physically and physchologically! The funny thing is all day yesterday I kept telling myself..."as long as I get through today then I can have a drink tomorrow" Of course I don't really intend on having one today but thinking like that seemed to help me get through the day. I know this can't be a good way to think but does it matter since thinking like that worked?? Did anyone else have thoughts like that? Like today I keep saying "if I can get to the weekend without one drink then I can have one then" I'm hoping after a while these thoughts will go away and I won't need to "bribe" myself. Then again with the alcoholic mind maybe I will always have to?!?

I think what I need to do is just remind myself of how good it feels to wake up without a hangover and feeling like crap. How proud I can be of myself for getting through another day. I'm sure that's a better way of thinking...

doggonecarl

Congrats on getting through a day without drinking...however you did it. Yes, there does seem to be a risk in promising yourself a drink "tomorrow" to get through today, like what happens if you decide to take your reward. But the truth is, if you are going to drink, you are going to drink...with or without the bribe.

I think the point is to take sobriety one day at a time. One moment at a time. You can only not drink right now. Worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes.

Works for some. Not for others.

Myself, I had to accept that I was NEVER going to drink again. No promise of a future day, event, moment, reason, excuse. I was never going to drink again. Accepting that in my head and heart was a great weight off of me.

Nonsensical

Ever notice how addicts want to reward themselves with the thing they are trying to avoid? (Not pointing fingers, I used to do the same thing.)

You never hear anyone say, "I finally got around to replacing that broken window, so I'm going to celebrate/reward myself by throwing rocks at it for a while."

Surely you could promise yourself something else? Something you could actually enjoy having. Take the money you would have spent on liquor and have a nice brunch at a new place on Sunday.

FeenixxRising

I tried that in a different way. I wasn't a daily drinker, so when weekends or events were coming up I would say I won't drink during this event, but the next event I can. Sometimes it worked, but most of the time it didn't. But for me I need to do as Doggone said above, and accept I won't be able to drink again.

But whatever works. However, I thin eventually you will except you don't want to drink again.

Good job on getting through Day 1, keep at it.

Grymt

Yeah, whatever works. It's path of learning. Welcome and thanks for sharing.

Maybe tomorrow will never come?

trachemys

As long as you never say: "It's tomorrow".

RightLAine

Nonsensical your exaclty right and when you use the window analogy it sounds rediculous! I am going to try and change my train of thought and use benchmarks to reward myself like if I make it a week I will go get my nails done...etc! Thanks for putting it in perspective!!

RightLAine

And yes your right...! thank you!

RiverFriend

I quit for about 6 weeks before going on a vacation to a remote Central American island. I told myself I would not drink until I was on vacation and I stuck to that. The problem for me was, when I finally did get to the island and started drinking, I ended up so drunk that I tried to leave my group to drive off with some locals to get a bunch of blow (hadn't even done blow in years) and really hurt the girl I was with at the time. Point being, I was able to use the same reward type of thinking but when I did reward myself, it was right back to square one.

Eddie2010

I reward myself, but not with the promise of another drink. On day 30 I added Starz to my Directv for $10 a month. Hell, I think I'm saving $600/month by not drinking.

Day 60 is coming up and I'm going clothes shopping.

Congrats on day 1! We all have to start there.

sugarbear1

That is exactly what I did!!!!!

I kept telling myself, "Maybe tomorrow I will entertain (and follow through) with it, but today, I will get through without drinking.

Tomorrow kept turning into another Today.

I will have 22 months of sobriety in 2 more days!

It WORKED!! (along with the 12 steps of AA, but that is another chapter in my life)

SoberD

Yes, I do this all the time but usually it is not tomorrow but rather, that some point in the future I will be fit to drink moderately after taking a break. Unfortunately, when I succumb to this thinking and do drink, the storm begins again. I am hoping that after some lengthy period of time, the mystique of drinking will just dissipate such that the thought of even moderate drinking will have no appeal...and sober life will just seem infinitely better.

doggonecarl

The downfall of so many, using a period of sobriety as evidence that now we can drink.

So glad to be freed of that lie.

SoberD

I'm curious how long it took for you to just forget about the "mystique" of alcohol and just realize that it was in fact, a lie. In other words, after being sober for some period, did you just lose the urge altogether? I wouldn't say that I have intense cravings per se when I am not drinking, more that I just long for the "magic" times that booze brought me in the past and make a conscious decision to drink (while forgetting about the horrid past consequences)...

Michael66

Well done on day 1.

As with some others above, the only way I could find peaceful and happy sobriety was to fully accept that I could not and would not ever drink again in any circumstances. Promising yourself a reward and then denying yourself it sounds like a tough strategy to me. Can you find other ways to treat yourself in these early days? In my first month I decided I could and would eat anything I wanted. As it happens I think I ate more healthily than when I was drinking, though I did treat myself to lots of pizza.

doggonecarl

When I quit I don't think there was any "mystique" to my drinking, no magic in alcohol. I was chugging 40s. I drank because I couldn't not drink. Even then it took three months of so before I was truly convinced that I wasn't a normal drinker and would never be a normal drinker.

My urge to drink subsided after that. Yet, even at nine months there were times where I felt terribly compelled to drink. And recently, with over 2 and half years sobriety, I had an overwhelming urge to drink. What it was wasn't a longing for booze so much as a longing to escape, to flee the moment and the stress and the rage and everything else. To hide from the person those triggers create. To escape from ME. Alcohol performs that function, quite well.

I'm an alcoholic and addict. It's always there. Lurking. But 99% of the time I don't think about drugs or drinking. I am free from the chains of my addiction and blessed.

Wishing the same to you and everyone else new to the journey.

Oroszlan

I hope it gets better as time goes on with the constant thought about drinking. Why is it that we all want to stop but it is all we think about?? I would assume it is the same for a smoker too. When they try to quit all they think about is having a cigarette. If the thoughts go away is the addiction then over and one can drink normally again??

SoberD

Not in my experience - drinking again was "normal" for a short period and then spiraled into exactly what it was before or worse - a major problem. It happens every time (to me).

RightLAine

Thank you all for your opinions on my way of thinking. I'm glad to hear it worked for some and I totally see why it wouldn't work for others. I've used alcohol as an escape for many years. Today I am stressed about money and bills and having a beer when I get home from work sounds wonderful but I know one beer will turn into a beer and a shot and then 2 shots then one more beer....etc....next thing I know I will be waking up at 6am feeling horrible and having to come to work in order to pay the bills that I'm stressing about. I see how ugly the whole cycle can be and truth be told no matter how much I drink those same bills will be there tomorrow so might as well figure out with a clear head.

sugarbear1

I used the word "maybe" which always gave me an out for NOT drinking. It was just to ease my thought of "a drink would be nice" and I never followed through with it!

Each day I could do more than the day before and I learned new ways to work with stress. I accomplished more than I would if I had continued to drink.

Drinking wasn't worth it anymore.

Today I see things as challenges and not as stressors!