capediemus

This is my 3rd time hooked on oxycodone. Up until 6 months ago i was on 8mg of subutex per day and quite happy on it. I had been put on subutex to deal with oxycodone addiction before. The reason I came off it 6 months ago was because I was given a date for surgery in 6 months and to deal with my increasing pain my doctor and i agreed to go on proper pain medication for the short term. Before my surgery 2 weeks ago I was consuming up to 300mg of oxycodone per day (mixture of oxycontin and oxycodone). This was above what I was prescribed and I was always running out early and getting so much withdrawal pain. I ended up telling my doctor a lot of BS stories to get more. I was pretty certain I was only using them for pain and convinced myself of that. I have been off and on opiate meds for more than 10 years.4 days ago he refused to give me any more and has me picking up a daily script from the pharmacy of 180mg of oxycontin and oxycodone combined.This was a huge shock to my system and i ended up writhing around on the floor in pain, vomiting, diarrea, restless legs, the works. I called my doctor pleading that I couldn't bear the pain and the wretching and spasms were also pulling at the surgery wound on my back. He wouldn't budge and continues to reduce by 20mg per week with me picking it up daily. I saw the doctor today and i apologised about always getting it early, he hugely exaggerated how many time I had done it (14 times this month alone. It is only the 14th) and he rejected my plea to go back on subutex, just like his predeccessor and I agreed on. This doctor doesn't like subutex and won't change my script at all untill these people called "addiction services" contact him. I saw them yesterday and it could take weeks. Meantime my 11 year old son is visiting with my ex wife from the US, to stay with me for 2 weeks. I haven't seen him for 2 years and they will be here on the 21st of this month. How do I explain to her my daily visits to the pharmacy? She knows a bit of my history with oxycodone but thinks i am off it now and just a low dose since surgery. I am aiming to get full custody of my son, here in the UK for all of his summer holidays and various other holidays. I only came back to the UK from the US (I have a green card) because my back problem stopped me working, my health insurance ran out and I could get surgery free in the UK. It takes ages to get it but it is free and i have had 2 of them now. My problem is how to contrive that I don't have to go to the pharmacy everyday and not have her think I have to take methadone or I am some kind of addict. I have every respect for anyone who does or or is hooked on any substance, like I am, legal or not. There is just a huge stigma about daily pharmacy visits. I am a good Dad and I want my ex wife to trust me with my son.
Sorry about the long post, I hope my main problems came through clear enough. Any advice on how to tackle this problem would be great.
This is a fantastic forum and I have learned a lot from my first visit here, reading a lot of posts. Nice to find people in a similar mess as I am. Nice is probably the wrong word but you know what I mean.
Thanks for anyone who got this far.

2granddaughters

Have you attended Narcotics Anonymous meetings? You will find lots of folks there who have been right where you are.

[]Meetings search | UKNA

All the best.

Bob R

Anna

I think you should be honest with your wife, so that she knows the situation. She deserves to know the truth if she planning to leave your son with you for an extended period. I'm glad your dr stuck with his plan because it will be the best thing for you.

capediemus

Telling the ex is not an option. The hope of being able to spend extended amounts of my son again is what keeps me going. To jeopardise this by telling the ex the truth I think would be madness. Although telling the truth I find is nearly always the best option, my Ex is not the most understanding or compassionate and would believe the stigma and bad press rather than believe I am trying to quit in good faith. There is a reason she is my Ex. I do think the doctor did the right thing by cutting me off, but I feel the the amount of harm he has caused me by having to figure out a way to sneak around getting my meds while she visits as well as not allowing me to go to work. The chemist opens at 9am and closes at 5pm. I am an electrical contractor who starts work at 8am and finishes at 5 -6pm. These hours are negotiable for a couple of days but not full time. Luckily I am on short hours now after my surgery, but I can't see how to start full time again even though I feel fit, nearly. If he could have allowed me enough for the time that she was here and I would have supplied him proof if he needed it. I could have even brought my son one day just to say hello.
I know this sounds as if I am making typical drug abuser excuses but even sometimes it is possible that I am not lying.
I know that a doctor is to not cause any harm but the amount of harm, or call it hardship, I will suffer if I can't earn money, or have the chance to be a Dad again is worse than I can bear to think. If my Ex was an understanding compassionate type then there would be no problem, I am OK with getting my meds daily, apart from impending unemployment.
I am not a victim here, just someone with a couple of challenges that I need to deal with the best way.
Once again, anyone who read this far,thanks. I have problems with excessive verbosity when trying to explain things.