Carlos1111

No Matter How Many Years I Have I Always Say = Only Today because I do not count. I Live ! Guest What = I really Really only have today....

Wife of 21 years Passed. I stayed Sober to take care of my wife. I Love My Wife. She was/is My Best Friend, My SoulMate, My Love.

I have done everything I ever wanted to do. I have had and have done it All, in spite of me. My reason for Living is gone and I am still here.

All we did was help people. She finished her Test and why haven't I. We both thought we were going together.

I stopped my brain from thinking by using. I did this when I found time because most of my day, I cry.

She is in an URN, next to me in bed, Who I hold while I sleep and Who I held last night after using.

I have what I have because of Her.

I saw this beautiful Lady and I could see she was just as beautiful inside. I went up to her and said; I was and could be worth a lot of money. I have an issue. If you help me and Marry me, You can have it All.

She said YES and always re)inded me; it was all hers (smile)

The first time I missed and came home knowing she was going to yell at me. She said = take a shower,change clothes, and I am going to take you to the House That Jack Built to eat whatever you want.

You have already beat yourself up enough. I am going to Love you until You Love Yourself!

Here I AM. 21 years of a day at a time and now I Missed.

They say=throw away her clothes so you can forget and go on. DON'T throw away nothing now but you must go on.

My reason for Living is gone. I will not shoot myself but We helped so many why am I still here.

I am tired. Tired of crying which I am doing right now but even with this issue in my Life, I know that AA will help me even though I am an Addict

No meetings yet but I got here today

Thank you for being here

Dee74

I'm glad you started your own thread

I hope you get the support you need from AA, and of course SR...but if those thoughts about doing yourself harm get worse I hope you'll see a Dr or a counsellor?

sometimes grief can be so overpowering...

it can really help to have someone on the outside to talk you through it safely, you know?

If you feel you need help you'll find some avenue here in this link:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

D

YouRmySunshine

You are in my Prayers, seriously.
Im so sorry for your loss & all you are having to cope with right now.
Im sure she is looking down at you wanting you to be sober.
Please stay well & find someone you can speak to in person.

Peace

Coldfusion

Just as AA helps you stay sober, there are support groups in many communities for grief after the loss of a loved one. When I lost my wife of 20 years, I found that talking to a therapist helped me work through the complex emotions I was feeling.

If you need help finding support, or are just feeling at wit's end, please call a crisis line. They have helped me several times--those folks are very good at preventing a crisis.

Thanks for sharing here at SR--we are here for you!

misspond

Carlos....your loss is devastating to you but don't let that be the reason you decide to shut down. I've not been through what you have but your words have touched me and I too feel you should seek some support in this dark time.

If you reach out, someone will be there.