britabroad

Hi all,

Well, I've been sober for 6 days, so by no means any kind of expert.

Last week, I went to an AA meeting. I thought the meeting was great. However, I did some research afterwards about AA and am freaked out by all the stuff I read online about it being cultish and like a religion.

Going by the meeting I went to, I can believe that.

I also know there is no way I could get into the whole 'meeting every day' stuff, 90 in 90 and all that. Then getting a sponsor, who, by the way, is a person like you and me, NOT a qualified therapist. Who you are expected to spill your worst secrets to, with no professional guidelines like a real doctor has.

And then, eventually for you to become a sponsor.....AA must take over your whole life!! Being a sponsor yourself, being a sponsee yourself.

Holy smoke.

I don't doubt it works for a lot of people, but it won't for me.

I just want to make people aware that there are other alternatives out there. I'm especially concerned at how AA doesn't really address the underlying issues behind addiction problems.

I'm sure I will be shot down in flames, but I felt that this was important to put out there.

trachemys

Shoot, we even have an entire section here on Secular Recovery.

There are as many methods as there are people here. The point isn't how you get there. The point of this entire forum is support. 24/7/365

So look around. You'll find every facet of recovery there is here. Make your choices for you and we'll support you. Just don't judge.

bigsombrero

No need to worry about AA being cultish etc, not on your 6th day. It's way to early to start navigating that issue. Putting the cart before the horse so to speak.

AA's core principles are great places for people to start, and you learn a lot about recovery and some important coping mechanisms.

IMO I think we should always maybe keep a bit of AA in our lives, whether that's attending a meeting once a month or whatever. Eventually we should be encouraged to GROW out of it. Some people don't want to leave the safety of the AA bubble and that's totally okay.

Again, on day six you should still keep all recovery options open. It's too early to start worrying about the stuff you read online etc. Like all online info, some of it's true, some of it's not. But don't try and fly an airplane before you know how to drive a car. There's plenty of time to think critically about AA but right now (as an AA skeptic) my advice would be to stick with it, and continue with an open mind.

Congrats on the 6 days and keep it up!

Dee74

I'm not an AA member, so I have no axe to grind or barrow to push, but there are some really extraordinarily ranty anti AA websites out there.

I'd tread carefully on teh interwebs.

and this:
sounds an awful lot like what we do here at SR.

We can make it sound bad - but it can work amazingly well

AA's not for everyone, and never claims to be.

So if it's not AA, whats your plan Brit?

D

JamesAdams

The great thing about living in a free society is people are free to make their own decisions.

If it works for people and they love it, I'm happy for them.

avocado

aa meetings can be interesting experiences, but i'm not interested in pursuing their methods and have some issues with their underlying philosophy and methodology. Like anything, it's not for everyone, but I think it's best not to get into debates here about such things, because it might discourage people who are finding it helpful. As far as other 'programs' out there I think SMART has some interesting ideas, but in my own 'recovery' i've found a personal approach based on my own philosophies of life is working just fine for me.

quitforme79

Every side has a story...AA & SR work for me so I stick with them. The recovery journey is an individual process and I pass no judgement as to how people get or more importantly, stay sober. Whatever works!

britabroad

Dee, I get what you are saying, but there's something different about talking about stuff here and talking to an AA group about it. Or to a sponsor. X

deeker

Yes it does, It's called the Steps!

“There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance—that principle is contempt prior to investigation. – HERBERT SPENCER”

From Big Book Reprinted with Permission from AA World Services

fallingtogether

Bottom line, getting sober is serious business. And often, it's too much for us to do it alone. AA works for some people, not for others. And if you believe that your drinking problems are but a symptom of an underlying issue, finding a person to talk to, medically qualified or not is a huge step in recovery. Call that person a friend or a sponsor. Sobriety = honesty, spill it where you see fit. AA has helped me immensely and when I tore apart the program, and looked for loop holes, I got drunk. So, for me, I have no problem sitting with a room fu of people who have felt the same way I have, because some of them have what I want, experience, hope and a willingness to help me.

Best wishes xoxo

Mizzuno

It's alright if you are not a fan of AA. You don't have to be. Others are alive and sober because of the program. What forms of recovery are you using that are helpful to the community of SR?

britabroad

The reason I put this in here as opposed to in Secular Recovery is that I want Newcomers to see this.

I'm very concerned about young, vulnerable people getting sucked into the AA thing, especially. I'm middle aged and just about got sucked in with one meeting, and so flipping glad I didn't now.

Just a warning to folks out there. I've had the fright of my life after touching on AA. Be careful, peeps.

Mizzuno

Are you trolling this site?

fallingtogether

Seriously Brit? Respect others. You work your program your way, well do the same with ourselves.

britabroad

Absolutely not, just being completely realistic.

Nattythreads

I have good friends for whom AA has literally been a lifesaver. It works for them and they get it. That doesn't mean to say it's everyone's cup of tea.

My advice to you would be approach everything with an open mind. And make up your own mind on what works for you, not some random hatchet job on the internet.

britabroad

OK, I won't be back.

Auf Wiedersehen.

I'm amazed at how much I've been closed in on as a troll, just because I dared to question AAs principles.

Good luck, everyone, on your sobriety.

Ptcapote

Brit: I stayed away from AA for years because of the very same things you are mentioning as concerns. I also Googled the program plenty of times and thought, "No way am I getting into anything that is asking me to surrender myself to a Higher Power...or any version thereof..." I am also not big on organized religion either. At all. So the God element didn't sit too well either.

I'm still not sure about the Higher Power or God stuff (being spiritual helps me but still not big on giving up/surrendering personal power). However, I have found that getting myself around other people--not AA dogma or religion--has helped me immensely because I have stopped isolating myself which was my biggest problem when drinking. I got to thinking that I was the only one feeling like I did, that I could never explain all of the horrible things that I had done/felt/continued to feel to everyone else who was "normal," and so the only alternative was to keep drinking...alone.

AA has helped me stop the isolating behavior and get around people who knew exactly what I was going through...which has been a major thing in keeping me sober this past month. Like others said here, sometimes it's a mix of many different things. I also find value in SMART and talking to a regular therapist. And being here, of course.

And I am not convinced AA does address all the underlying things that make one start drinking. I think it is pretty unrealistic to expect any one thing to do that.

What it does do, at least for me, is keep the isolation tendencies to a minimum. But maybe that wasn't part of your drinking pattern so something else might be better for you.

Also, I think how little or how much the focus is on religion or cultish behavior depends on the group. At the one I am in (which is part of why I chose it), the person who leads it off always says she doesn't care if we surrender to God, the light post outside of the building, or our cat. Whatever it means to us, just as long as we don't pick up again.

But anyway...you seemed to like your first meeting when you posted about it awhile ago so I hope you don't let the internet freak you out too much.

I also didn't think you were bashing AA or should draw fire for your questions/concerns...they are certainly ones I considered myself. But I am glad I forced myself to keep an open mind.


Hey, Congrats on Day 6!!!

sugarbear1

Those steps have done for me what no therapist has ever been able to do.

Rational Recovery
SMART
AVRT
Life Ring
SOS
Power to Quit
Women for Sobriety

All with their very own website!

Pick one and work it!

Or get therapy or counseling. There's something for everyone!!!!

I wish you well on your sober journey!

deeker

I appreciate your incredible wisdom at 6 days sober, but maybe you should just worry about yourself right now and let newcomers make up their minds for themselves. You could be turning someone away from something that could save their lives! Thank You!