Letter To A Younger Friend
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
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Letter To A Younger Friend
Yes, I am "doing good" staying sober, thank you. But if you keep going like I did for so many years, well, there is very little left to ruin...and I have lost way too much.
Yes, I had depression for years....but honestly, even now with all the difficulties and worry, I am not depressed. Alcohol and grass were just no good for me. They are both actually depressants...
And no, when I was your age, I did not touch booze. Hated it. Grass is and always will be my drug of choice. I fell in love with it when I was 16...and all I ever really wanted was to be stoned. I wanted to do it for the rest of my life. Didn't believe that life was worth living without it. Cost me my education, my dreams, and many many thousands of dollars.
Only reason I ever started drinking was to quit smoking. Bright idea, huh? In the last few years, I did both every day. I only gave up grass a short time before I gave up alcohol. And to be honest, I am still grieving it.
If I had my choice, I would get some this second...BUT I would leave you, I would leave SR, I would bail on my job....I would no longer be able to be there for my dad or my sisters or my cousins....and I wouldn't be able to pay the bills.
The first few days would be heaven....and then I would be chasing that high....telling myself that it was awesome when in fact I would be miserable all over again. I would start crying again, and I would be suicidal.
Fun, hey?
This is what happens if you keep smoking for years. It turns on you.
You passed out at parties? I don't even remember the parties? Blackout after blackout. People would tell me stuff and I would pretend to remember....and I would NOT stop smoking because I didn't want to miss out. I wanted in. I wanted the fun. I was like you, scared of being lonely.
The thing is, I ended up being the loneliest person on the planet...and I ended up suicidal and was losing my mind.
I'm not telling you to do AA meetings...BUT if you even go to just a few, you will see how many young people there are in AA/NA. People who have found a whole other way to have fun; they don't feel lonely, and they don't feel like they are missing out.
Some people can smoke grass and still do their lives. They choof while out or on the weekends, and then put it down. Not me, not ever....I was greedy for it from the very first time I smoked. It was everything to me. And it almost cost me everything.
Venus xx
Yes, I had depression for years....but honestly, even now with all the difficulties and worry, I am not depressed. Alcohol and grass were just no good for me. They are both actually depressants...
And no, when I was your age, I did not touch booze. Hated it. Grass is and always will be my drug of choice. I fell in love with it when I was 16...and all I ever really wanted was to be stoned. I wanted to do it for the rest of my life. Didn't believe that life was worth living without it. Cost me my education, my dreams, and many many thousands of dollars.
Only reason I ever started drinking was to quit smoking. Bright idea, huh? In the last few years, I did both every day. I only gave up grass a short time before I gave up alcohol. And to be honest, I am still grieving it.
If I had my choice, I would get some this second...BUT I would leave you, I would leave SR, I would bail on my job....I would no longer be able to be there for my dad or my sisters or my cousins....and I wouldn't be able to pay the bills.
The first few days would be heaven....and then I would be chasing that high....telling myself that it was awesome when in fact I would be miserable all over again. I would start crying again, and I would be suicidal.
Fun, hey?
This is what happens if you keep smoking for years. It turns on you.
You passed out at parties? I don't even remember the parties? Blackout after blackout. People would tell me stuff and I would pretend to remember....and I would NOT stop smoking because I didn't want to miss out. I wanted in. I wanted the fun. I was like you, scared of being lonely.
The thing is, I ended up being the loneliest person on the planet...and I ended up suicidal and was losing my mind.
I'm not telling you to do AA meetings...BUT if you even go to just a few, you will see how many young people there are in AA/NA. People who have found a whole other way to have fun; they don't feel lonely, and they don't feel like they are missing out.
Some people can smoke grass and still do their lives. They choof while out or on the weekends, and then put it down. Not me, not ever....I was greedy for it from the very first time I smoked. It was everything to me. And it almost cost me everything.
Venus xx
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