Oroszlan

Hello all. I am on day 4 without alcohol and have been reading and browsing this site to get started. I decided to join so that I can get through this addiction. I have been drinking almost every day for the last 10 years. I consume anywhere from 8 -15 beers a night. I have finally decided that I can't live like this anymore but am torn. So many times I have said to myself or my wife. That is it I quit, and a day goes by and there I am drinking again. Why is it that one moment or day I want to quit and then hours later or a day later I want to drink again?? It seems like the thought of never drinking again is so harsh.. How will I survive at parties, with friends, at weddings.... I guess the problem is that I always find an excuse to drink. A friend is coming over, Football is on, work sucked today... It is a Tuesday.. etc.... Is this normal thinking of an alcoholic or am I over reacting?? When I stop drinking even during these 4 days I am an anxiety ball. All I think about is beer and then I try to fool myself into thinking that I am fine. I can drink tonight and stop until next time, but the problem always ends up that next time is the next day.??

Nonsensical

Welcome!

The bad news is there's an alcoholic living in your head with you.

The good news is he becomes completely powerless once you know how to handle him.

Learning how to handle that darned addict tends to be a little different for each of us. Read around on this forum. There are many paths to sobriety. You can find yours if you go looking.

Best of Luck!

RightLAine

I'm on day 1 and I feel the same way....there always seems like a "Reason" to drink....Example...work did suck today for me so I keep thinking that when I get home I want to have a drink....just one (which always turns into more) and since I am just on day 1 (again) i figure well i'll just start tommorrow that way I can drink today. I think we need to stop making up excuses. The problem isn't so much that we drink it's what happens when we do. It's hard for me to label myself as an alcoholic but then I go down a list and all the signs are there. You decided you dont want to live like this anymore and you need to stick to that. I know it's hard but you have been doing the drinking thing for so many years why not try something new....sobriety!

Anna

Yeah, there is always a reason to drink and it's hard to make the decision to stop drinking for good. I had to make a lot of changes in my life in order to recover.

Try to not get overwhelmed with idea of 'forever'. You can get through each day and get stronger in your recovery.

Dee74

Welcome Oroszlan

Forever was too immense for me to contemplate in the beginning - so I focused on each day - each day I'd make a commitment to not drinking, every new morning I'd renew that vow...

soon I had a string of sober days, weeks, months...and forever didn't seem so daunting anymore cos I was already doing it

D

Oroszlan

Thanks for the responses. It helps to hear that others make the same excuses and then break their own promises to themselves. I will definitly try not to focus on "forever". I think that is the biggest mistake I am making right now and I will try to go one day at a time.